Tag Archives: observer

When In Doubt Breathe!

Last week was very intense and bits of it were definitely not fun in the moment, even if I can see the lessons in the various challenges that came my way. There were also moments of great achievement as I managed to master my monkey mind, and allow the wisdom of my heart to guide my responses to what life threw at me. All in all it was an interesting seven days and part of me wants to make a joke about the Chinese expression: “May you live in interesting times”, but if I claim to be cursed I am throwing away all my responsibility and denying the insights and aha moments that littered the path as I went on my merry way!


One of those messages came twice but I didn’t pay a whole lot of attention the first time, when it happened again with another client I had to sit up and take notice. I have two very reliable regulars for massage who both forgot to come to their appointments, a phone call the first time meant the session happened half an hour late. The second time was at the end of my market day and I simply heard nothing at all from her, this meant I was left somewhat hanging in suspension when I was tired at the end of a long and hot day at market.

Business had not been good at the market but my good fortune in other areas made up for this, as long as the energy is flowing I can usually find equanimity. Faced with my no-show at the end of the day I found bits of negative self-talk coming up about putting in all that effort and it all being useless, completely useless. There was a time this would have sent me into a very dark place, but my observer came to the fore and in noticing what was happening I was able to watch it without becoming attached. This takes all the charge out of the feelings and it’s much easier to let them keep moving, that way they can actually leave your organic being altogether.


To read about how I learned to do this check out my three-part story of being buried in the earth, “Into The Ground”: Feb 20, 2013, you’ll find that specific tale in part two: “Feeling The Fear”: https://throughthevortex.org/2013/02/21/feeling-the-fear/  Don’t worry, that just happens to be how I really ‘got’ that particular knowing, you don’t need to go and organise your burial. But maybe try the breathing if you find yourself with strong feelings and/or thoughts coming up that you are having trouble separating yourself from. The breath is a wonderful tool for transformation, its free and accessible to us at any time we so desire.

When in doubt, BREATHE!!!!!

The Bud Bursts!

There’s been a post brewing in me all day, but until I sit down to write I don’t really know quite what it will be about. There’s a sense of it but it is a knowing that is more in my body and intuitive self, the mind isn’t able to grasp it until  the moment that it becomes the wonderful tool that it is, and helps me to form the structure of words that will carry this knowing. To be honest, when I am truly in the flow of creativity the mind is probably more of an observer, it can help with grammar and sentence structure, but even there I tend to feel my way. I remember doing grammar for the first time in early high school, and I always knew the correct answers even though I didn’t know any of the rules. I’d been reading good literature for years, and I just knew when something was correct, it felt right.

I’ve always guided my life by that kind of knowing, but this is something that has become even stronger if that’s possible. When I look at what I have planned for this coming week, I’m tempted to become overwhelmed, but everything I’m doing ‘feels’ absolutely like it will serve my highest good, and it’s therefore necessary to move with ease and grace upon this path. I will do whatever I have to, to make this possible, and that may well mean letting go of anything that doesn’t serve that goal.

I don’t watch television and my shows on dvd have fallen by the wayside, so that’s one distraction that won’t be in the way. I think that the biggest thing that I have to let go of is the notion that it’s all too much, and I don’t have the capacity to achieve my goals. In my last post I talked about beliefs, now I need to put my money where my mouth is, and let go of my own self-limiting beliefs, this release alone will provide enough extra energy to power whatever I need to get done.

I’m also settling in to my new house sit which is out in the bush, there are challenges like a slow combustion stove that I need to learn how to use, but it’s a beautiful energetic space that will support the next stage of my spiritual journey. I’m feeling soooooo excited to be here, as I continue to strip away what isn’t absolutely necessary, what will be left? And what new energies will be coming in, I have my suspicions but am remaining open to whatever spirit chooses to bring to me at this time.