Tag Archives: old patterns

The Light Of Awareness And The Sea Of Old Regret!

waiting-for-a-waveI feel like the surfer who is waiting out to sea for that truly big wave to come sweeping through taking everything in it’s path into a brand new day. Tomorrow we finish the packing, the next day we will be moving most of our stuff into storage at the home of one of our beautiful and generous friends. Then after a couple of weeks staying with my mother we will be moving into our new home in the bush. Sounds simple and is fairly straightforward but doesn’t ‘feel’ that way in this moment, there is so much more to moving than the physical side of things although most would probably say that’s enough in itself!

moving-out

Since coming to our safe haven after the trials and tribulations of the “Prison Farm” I have been very conscious of being grateful for the lovely space that we’ve been living in for the last four months. In the past I’ve needed reminders but I can safely say that not a day has gone by in our current abode without me bringing that sense of gratitude into conscious awareness. And somehow that makes it much easier to move on, when you have truly savoured the moment that you are in it becomes much easier to let go of when the time comes. This is an excellent example of how mindfulness can help us in our everyday life, with navigating the constant sea of change. When you bring the full light of awareness to every moment there is much less chance of getting lost in the dried up old sea of regret

regret

Of course bringing that light into your life will illuminate all the areas that haven’t yet been explored and may show you some of what is getting in the way of the full expression of your life force. This is what stops many from truly examining what lies within and it is easy to fall back into old patterns, endless repetitive loops of thoughts and feelings. It seems easier to fall back but the larger truth is that remaining locked into your small self is a recipe for misery and regret. Breaking out requires enormous courage but if you can truly understand the emptiness of the alternative it may be a little easier to find the motivation for change. And if you stick at it even when it doesn’t feel like anything is changing you will notice shifts over time, and possibly learn a thing or two about the concept of patience!

breaking free

Then once you are fully launched into this new way of being there will be times when you are amazed at how everything is falling into place, like magic. And when it doesn’t happen like that you will know to wait and see, sometimes Spirit understands the way that we need to move forward in particular situations a lot better than we do ourselves. This isn’t a recipe for living “happily ever after”, it is a way of ensuring that we get the most out of our current incarnation in the world. The happiness is a by-product of a life well lived and as such there will be sorrow at times too. All part of the wonderful opportunity known as being in a body on Planet Earth! Aho!

loving-the-earth

 

 

Advertisements

To Move Is To Be Alive!

Organs-Of-The-Human-Body“Blood cells that don’t move cannot transport oxygen, lungs that don’t move can’t breathe, hearts that don’t move can’t pump blood, and spines that don’t move can’t create the motion required for proper joint nutrition, for the activities of daily living, or for the stimulation of the joint-brain pathways required for proper brain and body function.” In short, movement is what enables our bodies to operate in all their delicate, wondrous complexity.

James Chestnut, chiropractor.

Dance and movement keep popping up whenever I consider current issues in my life, particularly in relation to my shoulder injury and the urinary tract infection that won’t go away. Of course I am doing what is appropriate with the medical profession, just because there is a lot wrong with modern medicine doesn’t mean that it isn’t a wonderful method of dealing with some problems. But expecting someone else to do all the fixing isn’t a useful way of thinking, if I want to get better then I need to participate in the healing process with as much mindfulness as I can muster.

mind-fullI’ve been moving less because of my shoulder injury, still can’t do my regular yoga class and struggling to get myself to do any kind of practice at home. Sometimes I don’t even know what makes it flare up, with that kind of uncertainty I am a bit scared to do anything that might conceivably make it worse. And becoming less physically fit isn’t going to help my immune system with the infection it’s dealing with. My sugar addiction is going strong again too which doesn’t help with this overall picture, certainly doesn’t look like the optimum health that I am aiming for in this life.

Not the state I aspire to!

Not the state I aspire to!

It’s very easy in a place like this to feel like there isn’t anything I can do to change this, the mind may know it’s possible but the emotional body feels trapped. What needs to happen is an internal shift of consciousness that breaks the old patterns that are flaring up at the moment. Each time I have been in this space I have found various ways of breaking the loop and the message that keeps coming to me right now is to move my body. My Beloved and I are about to spend four weeks on five acres with dogs and cats and alpacas and not much else so a space is opening up for exploration and for play.

dance

Sometimes it will be movement to music but there will be times when I invite my body to move to its own rhythms. This can be done alone but it is even more powerful with another as witness, simply observing, not participating except to give feedback afterwards. This is one activity that can be guaranteed not to hurt my shoulder, I have learned how to move so that it can participate without trauma. And my body always feels better when it is in regular motion, even just a short walk is enough to perk everything up. So while I will continue to call upon doctors to support me in my healing I will also be taking responsibility for my own wellbeing.

body in space

And once the shift in consciousness has occurred then all the other stuff becomes so much easier! When my head is in the right place healthy choices seem simple and obvious. I need to be kind to myself and take one step at a time, after all I have done this before. And each time I do it I find myself in a better position than the last time it happened, slowly but surely I am getting healthier and healthier.

fruit and veg family

Hooray for the opportunity to create a happy and healthy life on the lovely planet known as Earth!

Joining Into The Interconnectedness Of All Things!

The Joining 2014Four days of soulful magic , until this moment an internal weaving of growth and expansion that somehow could not quite be captured in words. Every time I thought to put pen to paper my deeper knowing said, not yet……not yet. My Joining Gathering this time was not so much an island of love and connection in the new life I was building. There have been many layers of deepening into connection but for my relationship journey I would have to say that the Joining Gathering was pivotal in me getting to where I am now.

Big Rainbow

I didn’t meet my Beloved there but I spent four days with amazing conscious men and women, it gives one hope that there is someone out there for you. And it can help you to let go of old patterns around men and women as the honouring ceremonies go on and you have the opportunity to dive into yourself in amazing workshops. It helped me make a real shift into new ways of relating to others, and eventually in divine timing I met my Beloved and now we have been to the Joining and run a workshop there together! Talk about dreams coming true!

Us on the day of our workshop!

Us on the day of our workshop!

And so we had a marvelous Joining adventure and came back even more overflowing with love than before, if that’s possible. It was incredible and the really fun bit is that we live in that kind of space on a daily basis my Beloved and I. Doing it with a whole bunch of other conscious seekers and inspiring teachers is operating at an even higher level, all extremely yummy to say the least.

The Joining Gathering.

The Joining Gathering.

I would recommend the gathering to anyone seeking to explore different ways of connecting to each other, men and women as well as each with our own business. This is a time to be finding our true relationship with all things, the interconnected web that supports all life everywhere. I am looking forward to my contribution to this and feeling immense gratitude to the Joining Gathering for giving me the opportunity to be seen!

Thanks Joining Community!

Bless Your Triggers: They Will Help You To Grow!

smiley face daisyOnce again I am going back to the past, this time over a year ago to a post I wrote about triggers on February 28 2013, it was a turbulent year in terms of stuff coming up and it helped me to grow and evolve very quickly indeed. The particular trigger who was in my thoughts when I wrote this turned out to be highly manipulative and knew exactly what he was doing, in spite of that I bless him for all the deep trauma he helped me to uncover and to let go of, allowing me to become the happy and fulfilled person I am today! The title was “Point Your Trigger To My Heart”, particularly catchy I thought but only one photo in the whole post so I have added a few, nice to see how I’ve evolved over time.

I’d like to have a bit of a yarn about triggers, not the kind that help you to blow your brains out when attached to a gun, the ones that help you get your stuff moving. They tend to be the people you care about, or hate, the ones that annoy you on a regular basis, and of course when desire is involved stuff tends to come flying up from every which way!

exploding with stuff

The important thing to remember about triggers, is that most of the time the reaction you are experiencing is way out of proportion to what has actually occurred. In fact a lot of the time they have nothing to do with the feelings that are coursing through you, but the temptation to point the finger of blame and to project is very powerful. Not only are you dumping on an innocent, you are missing out on the opportunity to take responsiblity for your own feelings and let go of old patterns that are no longer serving you.

I’m the first to admit that I tend to go a bit unconscious when something nasty is moving through, but it doesn’t take me too long these days to realise what’s going on. If the situation seems to show my unwitting trigger in a bad light, I immediately cease any and all speculation about what was actually going on. After all, if it’s my own stuff coming up, then it’s inside my inner world that I will find any answers. And once I understand what my feelings are connected to, the situation that set it all off generally makes a great deal of sense, and I offer a prayer of gratitude and blessings to the one who has helped me into this space of greater clarity.

Now I’m not excusing bad behaviour here, if someone is rude or unkind or unfair, you have every right to respond in an appropriate fashion. There are people who have to be separated from the rest of the community because they are dangerous. But as Kabir said, “Do what you do with another human being, but never put them out of your heart.” When you harden your heart against another,  you hurt yourself as much as the other person, choose to be in your loving heart and you have instant protection. And the response you make is much more likely to be non-judgemental and appropriate to the situation.

Wherever I ramble it is always my heart that I come back to, in that still space full of love and acceptance, I feel welcomed and held. In these uncertain times when our inner beings are being flung around in the storms within, the heart is our safe refuge, the port that I call home.

lovegun

 

Letting Go Of Who You Think You Are.

spiritual loveDiving into the space of eternity I fall into the softest state of being, letting go of the things that are supposed to be who I am in the world. Following the path of the heart, letting go of who I think I am, this has been a major part of my journey into relationship as a spiritual practice.

Not that you have to be in a romantic relationship in order to let go of the ego’s assumptions, I’ve been following this particular path for what feels like a very long time. Just reflect for a moment, how much of your sense of identity comes from what other people have told you over the years? Parents, teachers and institutions, images in a culture that screams out youth, money and status! Even those who appear to embody all of these desirable traits, will often secretly feel unworthy. I can think of at least one drop dead gorgeous young woman I know who constantly surprises me when she seems unable to see her own beauty.

It’s such a relief to let go of all of that weight of expectation, to drop into the stillness of expectancy, quivering on the edge of the unknown. But to get to that place you need to be prepared for being uncomfortable at times, breaking old patterns requires focus, determination, and a certain amount of bloody mindedness.

heart leaves

It can also be fun and I am very excited to be bringing my awareness to ways in which I can support people in doing this for themselves. My Beloved and I have been accepted to run a workshop at the next “Joining Gathering” in September, it’s called “The Path of the Heart: Letting go of who you think you are”. (http://www.thejoining.com.au/) So far we make a good team, in the bedroom, the kitchen, in tasks around the house and on the dance floor, this is our opportunity to take that energy out into the wider community.

The adventure continues and my own path of the heart shines out like the glorious sun on a crisp autumn morning.

“Until further notice celebrate everything!” (St Germain through Azena Ramanda)

The Light Of Love Shatters The Past.

Phoenix_RisingHeld in the light of love I long to drown in that sweet ocean, to let go of everyday cares and to simply be the hunger that rises in me like the legendary serpent nestling at the base of my spine. Energy moves in answer to my thoughts and sensation sings through this physical creation as pure bliss releases the old patterns, blinding white light scours out the ancient scars that feed upon current circumstance. Intense pleasure shatters the dark structures that have held such fear and misery, until only the light remains, a rebirth into new life as the phoenix rises from the ashes in all her glory!

Follow your bliss was a thought that once was so alien even as I knew the truth of it, like a stubborn fool I stuck to the path of the heart even as my very foundations were ripped out and set on fire. The fool that I was understood that to let go of all the stuff that did not hold me dear would not be possible without first tearing down the tower of old beliefs. The demolition crew with their triggers and jack hammers came marching in wearing the faces of those I have loved, those that I have feared, the teachers that were obstacles on my road, paving the way to enlightenment and joy.

flameoflove

But to enter into that ecstatic place I first had to sit with that which gave rise to pain, to doubts and fears, the guilt that ate away my sense of self until only a shell remained. And a strongly burning heart space that knew its own divinity even as it became lost in the dust of the construction site, don’t forget to wear your hard hat, you never know what’s going to drop out of the sky! Dropping the old stories along with the armour the rebuilding can begin, and here patience has been much-needed as one piece after another is carefully fitted together.

bodylandscape

At last I am whole! More or less, more than enough to be getting on with and best of all, willing and able to receive the maximum amount of pleasure that this body can handle. And it can handle quite a bit, if you are ever in the space of not surrendering to absolute pleasure in a safe environment you might want to look at what the sensation is bringing up for you. Yet another golden opportunity to let go of stuff you don’t need, and with bliss leading the way the future can only be bright and sunny!

Hooray!!!!!!!

Enjoy this beautiful love song, my current favourite from Deva Premal and Miten: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZL8m_wj1li8

Imagine Your Highest Good: Grow Good Intention!

SupernovaAs you can probably tell I’m pretty damn happy at the moment, does that then imply an uninterrupted flow of uncomplicated simple happiness, with no light or shade anywhere, just feelings of luminous joy? For some of the time that’s a big YES, but life continues to move along and unless you’ve achieved full enlightenment then you will probably still get triggered sometimes. Not just by that which you perceive as negative but also by the moments of transcendent joy, nothing like a powerful explosion of light to show up and shake out any lingering darkness upon the soul.

It is somehow a bit more disconcerting to have those old butterflies mingling in my belly when I am so very aware of how truly amazing my life is, I mean why would I be doubtful when it is obvious that I am a very powerful manifestor indeed! Ok so I took ten years to sort my old patterns out so that I could finally attract a very different kind of relationship into my life but hey, some people never get there, and I learned lots of cool things along the way.

dancing with butterflies

So I breathe into the stirrings down below and acknowledge any feelings associated with the movement of energy, seems to be a lot of insecurities that I somehow am not good enough, you would think I might have emptied that particular can of worms by now! Oh well, stay with the feeling and it will move on at some stage, leaving you lighter and more able to respond to life in the moment, the gift of the present that is always with us.

sunclouds

And who knows what the future may hold for us, might as well be here for the moment that is NOW, what you do then will determine the shape of what you are moving into anyway. So imagine your highest good and happiness, no holds barred, let your creativity shine a light into the darkest corners of self that you may shed anything that is no longer a part of the balance of things. Grow good intentions and love well, be a food forest for the depths of soul, yours and the whole planet, the entire cosmos, the fullness of creation itself.

Namaste.