Relaxation is one of those states of being that tends to be undervalued in this culture, where action and achievement are held up as the pinnacles we are meant to be aiming at. Personally I just don’t have the motivation to climb that particular Everest, how about we go gliding through the canals of Venice, or if you really like winter sports then try sledding down the hill and simply letting go. When I can make the space for it I am pretty good at letting go, and when I allow it, I have become adept at actually relaxing into my fullness.
If you have a look at tantra you will find a lot of talk about relaxation, instead of going faster and faster and heading towards a ‘peak’ orgasm, you relax and allow the subtle energies to be perceived and felt, and sink into what is known as a ‘valley’ orgasm. I’m not speaking from personal experience, ten years ago when I was in my last relationship I knew nothing about any of this stuff although some of it happened spontaneously. I was already beginning to clear my stuff and move energies and as a woman it is much easier for me to be in that tantric space, it’s all about ‘being’ rather than ‘doing’.
When the opportunity to move into relationship as a spiritual practice arrives I will embrace it wholeheartedly, but in the meantime I will practice relaxation in all areas of my life as best I can. Things work better, we operate more harmoniously when we are coming from a relaxed space, but that’s a discussion for another post.
Good news for anyone who suffers from performance anxiety in the bedroom, which would be just about everyone at some point in a relationship. And for those of you who aren’t worried, are you on automatic pilot doing the same thing every time because you know it works, and if you try something new you might get rejected and isn’t that simply the worst possible thing that could happen! I’m not hearing relaxation in any of that description, and while I may be exaggerating a little and focusing on the negative, there are some truths in what I say.
More on this subject another time, in the meantime have a listen to Frankie Goes To Hollywood singing “Relax (Don’t do it)”, I don’t think I ever really listened to the words before, it’s about valley orgasms!
It’s time to return to the subject of sexual energy and tantra, and also to the fact that I don’t always keep my promises to myself, or at least not exactly as I intended to. I’m thinking of a post that I wrote on March 22 2013, called “Ride The Orgasmic Wave”, in that I said that I was going to make the time and space to experiment with energy orgasms, and that I would read “Tantric Orgasm for Women” by Diana Richardson and do all the exercises in it.
Well guess what, I haven’t done either of those things, life has been like a wild storm with the occasional lull, and it’s only now in this relatively calm space that I am coming back to this subject matter. I could get into a bit of self-flagellation, or I could recognise that the huge shifts and releases that have happened since I wrote that post have actually followed the intention that I set, just in a different form. Tantra is all about the flow and release of energy and I have been doing that big time!
I remember having a conversation about sexual energy a while ago and talking about how I was freeing up my sexual energy and how you don’t need a partner to do that. It was immediately apparent that the automatic assumption of my friend was that I was talking about masturbation, now that can certainly be a part of the process, but I was thinking more about my release of old patterns, thereby making room for more of my life force energy to flow through my being.
I’ve had another bug in my system the last few days which was making me feel low in energy, a big boost to my immune system yesterday and a great yoga class this morning has me feeling like a million dollars. I can feel the life force energy surging through me and my enthusiasm is bubbling over, that brings an aliveness to my entire body and especially to my breasts, which is the positive pole in women. If you are having sex without awareness of the more subtle interplay of masculine and feminine energies, then you may actually find that you are less energised afterwards.
At the end of the day it is the awareness that you bring to everything that you do that makes the difference to your enjoyment of life. Don’t be a sleep-walker, pay attention and be awed by the beautiful and precious nature of life on this planet!
With great reverence and love and a healthy dash of playfulness!
If you are looking for more information on sacred sexuality I can highly recomend Mukee Okan, here’s her web site:
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged awareness, energy, feminine, intention, life force, masculine, Mukee Okan, orgasm, sacred, sexuality, shifts, tantra, yoga
From joy and bursting life to an emptiness that is full of pain, as old beliefs fall away the light will always show us what we no longer need, and the letting go can feel like a loss too great to be borne. That void is the place of destruction and of creation, it can drive us to the manifestation of our brightest dreams, or our worst nightmares. It’s important not to try to fill it with anything at all, sit with it and feel the feelings, notice the thoughts and bodily sensations.
What I really would like to do is try out the energy masturbation that Nathan Martin demonstrated and perhaps I will before bed time. Feels like I will need a good bit of time available to do the full energy orgasm including setting the scene by creating a beautiful sacred space. The other practice seems like something I can do here and there as I have bits of time, and is a good way to prepare for the full body orgasm.
Orgasms, sex, anyone would think I was trying to sell something! But isn’t it a subject that most people are thinking about most of the time? Especially because we aren’t allowed to flow and be our natural sexual selves, people who are sexually liberated can think for themselves and we can’t have that can we! So if I’m going to truly come into my power (no pun intended!), then I have to keep focusing on sexual energy, keep shedding the armour that has kept me separate from that vital force.
“Osho Speaks on Sex:
There are methods that can start the energy moving upwards, and in the East, for at least ten thousand years, there has developed a special science, Tantra. There is no parallel in the West of such a science. For ten thousand years people have experimented with how sexual energy can become your spirituality, how your sexuality can become your spirituality. It is proved beyond doubt-thousands of people have gone through the transformation. Tantra seems to be the science that is, sooner or later, going to be accepted in the whole world, because people are suffering from all kinds of perversions. That’s why they go on talking about sex as if that is my work, as if twenty-four hours a day I am talking about sex. Their repressed sexuality is the problem. My whole effort has been how to make your sex a natural, accepted phenomenon, so there is no repression-and then you don’t need any pornography, so that there is no repression-and then you don’t dream of sex. Then the energy can be transformed.”
Sex Matters: From Sex to Superconsciousness, (Osho), in Tantric Orgasm for Women, ( Diana Richardson), Destiny Books, 2004, p 5 & 6.
I’m trying to let go of it, but I’m just the slightest bit embarrassed by one of my recent posts, when I expressed frustration about having all this life force energy flowing like a torrent, and where is my Beloved! That was what you might term an authentic moment in my emotional landscape, it’s a country that is always shifting and changing, and I know perfectly well that there are many ways to channel that powerful energy. I’m beginning to do just that as I read “Tantric Orgasm for Women” by Diana Richardson for the third time, and this time I am actually going to do the exercises in the book!
Focusing on externals never really works, whether it’s people or places or possessions, at the end of the day it’s how you respond to all of that which determines everything. So I need to really feel what is going on in my body, and work constructively with the strong energies that are moving through. I’ve only ever done it in workshops, but there’s a very satisfying way to channel those energies through the chakras and produce an energetic orgasm. Believe me it’s not some pale substitute, it’s truly orgasmic and takes you into that space of unity and love, where all the world is beautiful and every breath a song.
When my crazy week is over I intend to make the time to create this experience for myself, it’s always harder to do these things on your own but my motivation is pretty strong at the moment so I think I can do it! Time to love myself in the deepest way possible and ride the wave of love into my glorious NOW!
Check out this clip from Nathan Martin talking about energy masturbation, there is an opportunity to go on to another clip that shows Nathan working with a woman’s energy so that she experiences an energetic orgasm. I encourage you to watch it even if you feel a bit uncomfortable, I could feel my resistance as I watched but I stayed with it and surrendered to the feelings of pleasure in my body just from seeing someone else go there.
ENJOY sensual blissings!