Tag Archives: release

Stand Proud On Your Ground: Blessings In Disguise.

Posted on October 7, 2015 | 1 comment

Four Agreements don miguel ruiz“The Four Agreements
1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best. ”
― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom

So I am now on the other side of my latest challenges and I’m feeling very proud of the way in which I spoke my truth and stood my ground. It would have probably been better to manage that earlier but I was following my intuition all the way. My head was never happy about saying yes, but my heart needed to know what it would be like to tune in and I always got a yes. Until I got the no and was triggered for a couple of days of huge release, great clean out and helped to give me the confidence to be clear as I navigated my way through a tricky situation.

body in space

Starting to come back from that initial clearing and I discover someone has tried to steal my car and appears to have wrecked the ignition, can’t get the key in. It’s looking like I might need to be towed to replace the ignition. Just like any good mythical story I have a miracle three days later when a Good Samaritan helps me at very little cost, that’s what it’s like living in a good community. The same day my Beloved bought me a laptop that is exactly what I need, don’t have to share anymore although I do know a bit more about mac computers now so there were
benefits to the wait. Yay!

http://www.ananda.org/meditation/meditation-support/articles/sharing-happiness-others/

Then the day where I step into that larger version of me that stands easily in a place of power that is based in integrity and truth. Of course there have been tears and I have felt a bit shaky at times, but at the same time I feel incredibly liberated! Freedom! The thing is don’t expect that just because you are doing your best to take responsibility for the part you have played in events that this will be reciprocated by those with whom you are interacting. What is important is to act with honour for yourself, to be as honest and transparent as is possible. And with the prospect of no change to the inequitable situation the only possible course was to close that chapter immediately.

thefool

Hooray for the New Chapter of my Life, on as the Fool leaping off into the abyss and knowing with absolute trust that there is a feather bed waiting for my landing.

Aho!

“If someone is not treating you with love and respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you. If that person doesn’t walk away, you will surely endure many years of suffering with him or her. Walking away may hurt for a while, but your heart will eventually heal. Then you can choose what you really want. You will find that you don’t need to trust others as much as you need to trust yourself to make the right choices.”
― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom

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Connecting And Letting Go, In Sacred Space.

Posted on May 18, 2014 | Leave a comment

let goLetting go is a process of refinement I find, the more sensitive you can be as you tune into what your body, mind and spirit are up to, the more opportunity you have to let go of something else. You may have a sense of what it is or know precisely the meaning of what you are perceiving, or you may have no idea, just a knowing that something is leaving you. It is transformed and so are you as another piece of excess baggage falls away. Often there will be big themes that keep cropping up over and over again, don’t worry, if it’s coming up for you then it is available for release.

having issues

Any big issues that you have will be layered all through your experiences in life, the particular entry into the earth plane that you have taken in this incarnation, family, country, etc……..so don’t be discouraged if the same things keep on coming up. If you persist and persist and never give up on the possibility of healing everything in this lifetime, then it is possible to create fundamental change. At least that’s what it took for me in this lifetime, the strong desire to evolve my inner world, invoke my spiritual task and do what I have come here to do.

Me dancing with orbs! Photo by Antara May.

Me dancing with orbs!
Photo by Antara May.

I am a communicator with words and sometimes with my body, toning is another medium that can create a sacred space where it is possible to use the sound to come into coherence, when the brain and the heart beat as one! It used to be my favourite way but I must confess that relationship as a spiritual practice is head and shoulders above the rest for me these days. But I will be doing some groups with my Beloved and that feels like the next stage of creating this kind of energy, if people connect with our offerings they may experience great transformation over time. At worst they will have a fun session and end up feeling a bit like little kids, learning should always be fun I reckon, there will definitely have to be some kind of movement/dance element.

Kerry Laizans Photo by Antara May.

Kerry Laizans
Photo by Antara May.

Once again I feel excited at the thought of exploring ways of helping other seekers tune in and let go, looking forward to the Equinox very much! http://www.thejoining.com.au/

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Write, Release, Transition With Gratitude And Love.

Posted on May 4, 2014 | Leave a comment

spider writingWell I asked for clarity and that’s what I got in my medicine circle, some messages still to come but what has come through is very clear. Three posts a week in this blog is wonderful but to truly take on and inhabit that role I need to be doing more. If I win the lottery tomorrow I need to do more writing even if it’s me volunteering my time. That’s what spider came to tell me and it was delivered rather dramatically so I  really ought to take notice.

The horses are representing my sexuality which is flowering like a thousand petaled lotus flower and triggering all sorts of stuff. Bladder infections, rashes, all the disapproval and judgement that has come into my being through the experience of coming into the world through the particular energetic pathways that I have, is being released.

horse libido

When you let go of stuff that has been placing limitations on your potential there is an adjustment that needs to be made in the cells of the body. Integration is required and as this occurs change will flow from the new frequencies, as I feel my way into that flow I will find the details of this new chapter.

LotusFlower

So I will endeavour to be patient and cheerful as I go through this transition, life is pretty good so it becomes easy to have gratitude.

As a friend reminded me today, “An attitude of gratitude, gives you the altitude!”

Fly high my friends!

“Some day, after we have mastered the winds, the waves, the tides, and gravity, we will harness for God the energies of love; and then for the second time in the history of the world man will have discovered fire.”

flames burn

Teilhard de Chardin.

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Trust And Surrender.

Posted on August 13, 2013 | Leave a comment

Okay, so in the end I’ve had to surrender to being sick, managed to get through work and play on the weekend, and then monday morning was spent in bed instead of yoga. That night I started losing my voice which means missing a shift on the crisis phones, guess it’s time to rest and just allow my body to release whatever it needs to. There is a kind of relief in that feeling, trust is often a bit tricky, but one thing I do absolutely trust in is my body’s wisdom.

body-of-light

I did go out last night for what’s known in my local club as a bunya meal, if you are in the community exchange system you can do that, but only on a monday night which is when they have the blackboard with 15 minute spots for musos. Nice not to have to cook and very nurturing to connect with my community, old friends and some newer ones, I even managed a bit of a dance. But before the music was over my voice was failing and that more than anything signalled that it was time to wend my weary way home, luckily only a 2 minute drive.

The message from my body is clear, rest, rest and more rest! I have also not been so good at following my own advice and intentions, so this evening I will do some meditation and bring my focus to raising my vibration. Probably the Telos Daily Activation of Light Meditation followed by some sitting meditation, with no voice I won’t be doing any toning that’s for sure! In that quiet space I will ask if there is anything I need to know at the moment. I have a sense of something opening up for me but I’m not sure exactly what it may be, I feel that my settling in one place may be soon but not sure about that either.

Not sure about much am I, that’s why I will ask for guidance, and if I don’t need to know then I will do my best to surrender to the uncertainty. Being ok with not knowing is often the hardest thing of all, and yet if you can do it, it’s also a blessed relief.

Found a lovely guided meditation to share with you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrgGouSUUPc

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The Body Speaks.

Posted on August 10, 2013 | Leave a comment

To stay on an even keel and not to be overwhelmed, a constant challenge in this busy life I have created!  I didn’t have to stay longer at the club tonight but in doing so I created stronger connections with my community, as well as having a bucket load of fun. Then home to write posts with so much less time than I had planned, and I have a really sore throat, oh Goddess please don’t let me get sick. It will make my night out at the theatre tomorrow night so much less enjoyable, I will have to have a chat with my body and see if there is some other way for it to release whatever it is trying to let go of.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

I don’t get sick very often, genetics plays a part in this, I have a particularly tough constitution. But I also communicate with my body all the time, when I can feel sickness coming on I always ask my body if there is some other way that it can clear whatever it is needing to get out of my system. This is why I am not a believer in taking medication for colds, the body is busy getting rid of toxins and all you are doing is pushing it all back into the system. So at the end of the day I will surrender to the cold if I have to, but a lot of the time it dances around my edges and then goes away.

Of course you need to keep your immune system nice and strong, good nutrition is an important part of that as well as supplements. Listen to your body, I’ve been starting every day with a green smoothie since the New Year, but a few days ago my smoothie didn’t taste so good, always a sign that something needs to change. So I’m having them every second day and lo and behold, my smoothie tastes good again!

green smoothie

Good health is kind of simple in some ways, but we have strayed such a long way from basic nutrition and self-care in this culture, people have largely forgotten those basics. Time to return to the past, and add in the amazing new information that is coming in from the new paradigm!

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Let The Grief Go.

Posted on July 15, 2013 | Leave a comment

Even before I began my conscious shamanic journey, I was beginning to develop that larger part of self, through tarot readings, automatic writing, and an instinctive urge to express long suppressed feelings. I had no idea what I was doing, but I followed my intuition and flowed into the places that it took me to. I wrote poetry to express what I was feeling, and that really came in handy when Ayrton Senna was killed in front of my eyes on a race track in Italy in 1994.

Ayrton Senna.

Ayrton Senna.

I had been obsessed with him, and I was totally grief stricken for weeks afterwards, I cried and cried and wrote many poems to express the intensity of my feelings. At the time I was focused on the loss of this man who had been a kind of role model for me, I was certainly attracted to him but it was his passionate determination to be himself no matter what anyone else thought, and his integrity that truly inspired me. I know now that while I was genuinely grieving for Ayrton, along with thousands of people around the globe, I was also releasing grief for my father.

Malidoma Patrice Some.

Malidoma Patrice Some.

This concept is well understood in the village that Malidoma Some comes from, he describes a ritual where the immediate family has carers to keep them from harm, so that they can completely let go in their grief. The entire community participates, and there is an understanding that this is an opportunity to release any feelings that people may be holding on to from the past. What a refreshing view of the healing power of strong emotions expressed in the moment, how much would our constipated, uptight, overly structured and regulated society benefit from such practices!

malidomasomebook

Malidoma Some is an African shaman who brings the knowledge of his people to the Western culture, he is a bridge between the worlds, read his book “Of Water And The Spirit”, you won’t be able to put it down.

And even if you are not into car racing you will love this documentary about Ayrton Senna, my mum loved it and she hates sport!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFzx2PnBhYc

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Let The Feelings Flow.

Posted on June 30, 2013 | 2 comments

As the cold deepens, the energy of the dark womb draws us within, Demeter is mourning for her daughter and her grief is cold as ice, as cold as the underworld where Persephone has gone. The emptiness contains all that we have pushed aside in busier and brighter times, when distractions are easy to come by, and the shadow merely an interesting shape created by the sun’s rays. But now the trees are bare, and though the sun still shines from deep blue skies,  the pull comes from within, our shadow clamouring for our attention.

Surrender to that call, let go into the stillness that you will find as you descend into your own private version of the underworld. What is it that you cannot own or accept as a part of who you be, what aspects of self have you demonised or judged as being unworthy. That which remains unacknowledged can never be transformed or set free, so let yourself be………….all of who you are, this is the key.

We all of us have parts of ourselves that we don’t like very much, if you try to ignore this truth, if you push it down into the deepest part of your being, it will become even more powerful. It will control you from a place that you may not easily be able to access, the longer this goes on the more layers will gather and the harder it becomes to identify and therefore release. Here is a piece I wrote about how I did this very thing with the guilt I felt over my father’s death when I was 15:

My guilt was a mountain the size of Everest and I buried it as deeply as that mountain is tall.

The guilt festered away in the dungeon of my soul and within a brief few years it had eaten away it all, my self-esteem, my sense of worth, my love of self was gone.

It was in the midst of terrible storms on Australia Day that I realised that I had at last rebuilt my self-esteem, 33 years after burying that which I could not face or acknowledge to myself. To read more about that check out my post “Rebirth” on January 30 2013.

Rebirth

This one act of mine shaped my entire life, I cannot regret it for it has brought me to where I am, but I offer my experience as a lesson hard learned. No matter how painful it may be, allow your  feelings to move through you, express them in the moment and let them go, just keep doing that until you are clear, as long as it takes…………..

Shanti, shanti, shanti…………peace, peace, peace…………

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No Rest For The Wicked!

Posted on June 15, 2013 | Leave a comment

Seems like meditation is my theme at this moment, sitting, lying, walking and moving, some would say that every aspect of our lives is potentially a space for meditation to occur. I do agree with this idea, but in order to reach this kind of place in ourselves requires practice, the more you do something the easier it becomes. And if you have energy stuck in your body that needs to be processed and released, then specific techniques can be incredibly helpful.

I love to dance, I find that when I move my body things tend to shift, it’s something you can do anytime with whatever space is available. Just put on music that feels right to you and go for it! I moved to one of Gabrielle Roth’s dance meditation journeys yesterday and quite a lot came up, I felt enormous loss and anguish that spilled out into sound as well as the movement. Don’t know exactly what it was relating to, simply energy and emotion moving out of the cells of my body.

Today I have slowly but surely been developing uneasy belly, those of you who have been following me for a while will recall lots of posts about that particular aspect of my being. Looks like there is no rest for the wicked! I am interpreting the term wicked as meaning totally wonderful and awesome by the way, not sure if that is the current thinking, but if it isn’t I shall make it so,  just like Jean-Luc Picard on the deck of the Starship Enterprise.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard.

And after all the Enterprise is all about exploring strange new territories in outer space, my role is much the same, it’s just inner space we’re talking about here, probably even more mysterious.

Here’s a very silly video, the Picard song, you might even want to have a dance to it! Enjoy!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6oUz1v17Uo

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Moving On Out.

Posted on June 14, 2013 | 3 comments

I did meditate after writing my last post, and it had the usual effect of bringing me into a more peaceful state of consciousness, it smoothed me into sleep and the acceptance of how things are. In yoga this morning we had a long savasana (corpse pose), and there were a few flies, and so our teacher put a blanket over my face between two blocks to keep them at bay. I immediately wanted to throw the blanket off, felt fear and intense claustrophobia, so I breathed long and deep and stepped back from those feelings. It helped the energy to move, but I kept losing focus and I didn’t get a full release, so I will have to try to find the time to process it later this afternoon.

So how should I do that? There are a number of options, I could meditate and allow my body to do whatever it feels necessary, usually it will make jerking movements with the pelvis and shake in order to release. I may have a sense of what I’m letting go of, in savasana I was getting a connection to a past life as a priestess, where I was part of a ritual that involved me taking a drug to simulate death, kind of like Juliet in Romeo and Juliet. Or I may simply feel energy moving without any story, as long as it goes I don’t really mind.

priestessindeathtransparent-bodies-moving1

I could also put on some music and dance it out, in fact I have three Gabrielle Roth dvds, each is a thirty minute dance meditation journey, that’s what I’m leaning towards, but it does depend on the availability of space as I no longer have a house to myself. When I tune into my body it’s begging me to move, I can feel the desire in the cells, they clamour for healing movement so they can let go of the old, stale energy and make room for fresh new inspiration. I will honour my body and simply work with whatever space is available, movement doesn’t always have to be on a grand scale to do the job.

“If you put the body in motion, you will change. You are meant to move: from flowing to staccato, through chaos into lyric and back into the stillness from which all movement comes………..The spirit in motion heals, expands, circles in and out of the body, moving us through the layers of consciousness from inertia to ecstasy. Open to the spirit, and you will be transformed.”

Maps to Ecstasy, Gabrielle Roth, Nataraj Publ., Novato, CA, 1989.

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Life And Death.

Posted on June 5, 2013 | Leave a comment

There’s been a bit of a theme in my life these past few weeks, and it’s one of the biggies, death, which is the other side of life, and something we don’t really talk about in this culture. Other cultures have whole books devoted to the subject of how to pass from life into death, I’m talking about ‘The Tibetan Book of the Dead’. I’ve never read it but it talks about all the different stages that happen as you go through the dying process, here we tend to deny even the possibility of death until the last-minute, and then get dragged kicking and screaming into something that terrifies us.

The_grim_reaper

Because I felt responsible for my father’s suicide, I’ve created this strange connection between sexuality and death, although I guess it’s not that strange, after all sexual energy is the life force and death is it’s opposite. Sort of like yin and yang, masculine and feminine, the sun and the moon, they complement each other to create a balance, without which life as we know it would not be possible. My sexual flowering seemed to result in my father’s death, not rational, but that’s what has been held inside me for all of these years, and an awful lot of my shedding this past month has been around that issue.

And as often happens it is reflected in a myriad of other ways, I had to bury a chook this morning, not far from the guinea pig’s grave. It was sad, but I didn’t feel responsible for the passing of either of these animals, I know I did my best for them and there is no guilt there for me at all. I take it as a sign that I am making real progress in the process of release, it may not all be cleared, but an awful lot has gone, no wonder it was so painful.

It’s as if the sun has come out after a time of stormy darkness, and the weather has actually reflected this with the stunning day of blue skies and sunshine that I’ve enjoyed today. I found this great film of one of the songs from the musical ‘Hair’, it’s kind of a flash mob version of ‘Let The Sunshine In’, hope you enjoy it as much as I did! Love and radiance to you all………sunny blissings.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klObyJY1W_I

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