Tag Archives: responsibilty

It’s Not Mine!

I talk a lot about taking responsibility for what is going on around us, you know, don’t blame the trigger (from “Point The Trigger To My Heart”: 28 Feb 2013), what’s the lesson in this situation for me, that sort of thing. And most of the time it’s absolutely the right thing to do, there’s an awful lot of unneccessary conflict and trouble that comes with people not owning their stuff, and projecting it out into the world. But there are times when it isn’t anything to do with me, I cast around for a reason and can’t find one, but being human I can be a bit unconscious so I persist in trying to discover a meaning to whatever is going on.

lovegun

I was on the crisis phones the other night and getting a lot of intense and heavy going calls, assault, hit and run, children being taken away, so I was coming out and de-briefing with my supervisor quite a lot. She asked me if my theme for the night was reflecting something back to me about my own life at that time but I couldn’t think of how it might be relevant. A bit later on she suggested that it might be a good idea to clear the room I was working in just to see if that made a difference. I was handling the calls well enough but it can get a bit wearing after a while to have intense call after intense call.

space-clearing

So I took her advice and I did a quick clearing of my space, calling on my various guides and doing a bit of toning, it only took a minute. Well the difference from that point was amazing, the whole tone of my shift lightened up, whatever was attracting that intensity had nothing to do with me. I’m reminded of my favourite definition of responsibility, the ability to respond, I was able to respond to the situation with some good advice from my colleague and it didn’t involve me taking ownership of what was going on because it wasn’t mine.

So keep an open mind as you explore the intricacies of being a relational being in various environments, and try not to make assumptions, just when you think you know what’s going on, life will throw you a curve ball!

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Monsters Under The Bed.

I spoke of how the energy of this house I’m living in at the moment, has been good for relationship, and that it didn’t happen exactly as I might have imagined. Of course I’m only half way through my time here, so I’m sure that there are more exciting events on the way, quite apart from the four dinner, movie nights I have scheduled! Not to mention the dinner for six that is happening tomorrow night. The entertaining has gone well and has gone pretty much to plan, it’s more the romantic side of things that was different, and that’s something I can lay fairly and squarely at the feet of Fay Fairytale.

This is not to lay blame elsewhere or avoid responsiblity, Fay is a part of me and if I can’t keep her in check nobody can! And as I said in my last post, she conspired with the object of my admiration to trigger lots of stuff that I am much better off without, I can trip lightly through the world now, dance in the sunlight! It also brought me to a place of power in giving me the chance to speak up for myself, and that is something that happened here in this place. So easy to create sacred space here for whatever occasion I might be planning, the energy is already flowing beautifully, all I need to do is make adjustments according to what is going to happen.

And so I took my courage in both hands and I spoke, and it wasn’t perfect, I didn’t get the response I would have liked and in retrospect I wish I had been more challenging. But what truly matters is that I did it, I’ve been in the process of moving on ever since and part of that is to be ok with the fact that I could have done better. Last time I looked I wasn’t perfect, oh well, I think I can live with that one! Every time I meet a challenge that terrifies me I become stronger and more whole, the monsters under the bed are starting to look pretty tame.

Where The Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak.

Where The Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak.

My Wild Woman is sick of slaying monsters, all she wants to do now is kick up her heels and have fun!