I’m not keeping up the promise of weekly posts at the moment but you know there are times when life takes over and you are too much ‘in’ the experience to write about it. Still there I think as it has been a big time for the love bubble of Kerry and Brendan. A 7 day juice fast which included 4 coffee enemas and as many trips into Brisbane (the closest big smoke) for my Beloved as he navigated the loss of his mum. Yes a big time indeed but this blog is primarily about sharing what goes on inside of me, my Beloved’s internal sea of shifting feelings and moods is his to share or not as he pleases. So for me the little bit of resistance that is curling up inside of me is all about finishing that last bit of work for my tax. Not actually such a lot of time required but getting to it seems especially challenging.
This is more interesting than doing my tax!
Oh it will happen as it always does and I will wonder why I made such a fuss, until next year’s deadline comes around once again. There is also a sense of satisfaction for me in having achieved some goals that required a lot of determination and effort on my part. I think there may be a part of me that wants a holiday, don’t have holidays much so maybe I’m being reminded that it’s time to plan a decent kind of break. I have a feeling that there are going to be some good changes in the near future that will help my Beloved and I to plan ourselves a nice holiday. In the meantime it’s onward and upward upon this amazing healing journey which encompasses the health and well being of both of us. It is a big adventure full of archetypes and different states of consciousness and we are both growing quickly which can sometimes seem tricky.
So it’s all about self-care at the moment and riding the balance between that and economic reality, things like veggie juice fasting for any appreciable amount of time is expensive! But totally worth it as I do have the energy to keep the commitments that are required to keep the joint venture of our bubble of love on track for the Port of Optimum Health. And so it is!
The process of self-care goes on as I do my best to respond to the painful messages my body has been sending me lately as I enter into this new phase of stepping into my power. I’ve managed to do a bit of yoga although no real routine as yet, note to self: tomorrow morning I will do a bit of a stretch even if it’s only for 5 or 10 minutes. That’s how it can work sometimes when you are trying to get back into good habits, do what you can and there is a cumulative effect regardless of how much time you’ve spent. And know when it’s time to ask for help, I had an awesome bodywork session a few weeks ago and last week I had a session of Ortho Bionomy. This is a technique that uses gentle movement of the body and compression of the joints to encourage the body to correct itself. My body is feeling better but the neck pain is slow to move and I decided a follow up session would be wise. If you’d like to know more about this modality check out this website: http://www.ortho-bionomy.org.au/what-is-ortho-bionomy/
This image comes from what looks like a wonderful business that brings yoga into the workplace: yogaworkflow.com
As I sit here tuning into my body I am getting the feeling that it would like me to dance more often, something that hasn’t been happening in my life so often lately. I’m pretty sure that there was a post not so long ago where I made an intention to dance on a regular basis. Then there was moving house and planning a wedding and somehow good intentions got lost on the way. At the same time that I feel the desire of my body to move creatively I can also sense a part of me that is the opposite and really can’t be bothered with dancing and such things! It is interesting to watch these interactions, we all have so many different aspects within it’s a wonder anyone bothers with television. I know from my own experience that trying to motivate the reluctant aspect of self can be like trying to swim against the river’s current.
So the way that I navigate these sometimes confusing currents is to do whatever I can that is fairly easy, kind of like picking the low hanging fruit on the tree. At the moment that means doing some yoga in the mornings and holding the intention to dance. It might be a 5 minute boogie to music at home, or a quick jig to music playing in a café or bar, I’m fortunate in that I have no shame when it comes to dancing in public. So really I have no excuse and in fact I am going to make a statement here, in the next week I will get up and dance at least twice for at least 5 minutes. And do some yoga on at least 4 days, won’t be so hard this week as I’m planning to go to class this Friday and I have a whole day of silent retreat on Sunday with yoga and mindfulness mediation.
And hopefully somewhere in all of this the various aspects of my inner world will become more aligned with a harmonious and happy life. The healing goes on and I become more and more able to step into my own power and complete my spiritual task here on Planet Earth. Aho!
This flu has finally shifted enough that I managed a full day of training for work today, hallelujah! I’m tired but also feeling very grounded after getting out of the home environment into somewhere completely different. We had an awesome facilitator and it was great to focus on something other than being sick and pissed off. This rotten flu is still in my body and may be there as a low-level thing for a bit but I do feel more myself than I have done in three weeks. Three weeks! I cannot even begin to imagine what it is like for people who are sick for months or years at a time. This experience will certainly expand my empathy for those who have health problems that go on and on, so easy to get stuck in a loop.
My loop has been broken and while I will attend to the issues that have been annoying me so much I feel like I can let go of it all until then. Holding on to things that you can’t do anything about is very counter productive but also very human. And maybe as my health continues to improve I might be able to do some fruitful investigation of some of the feelings that have been getting triggered so strongly for me. There are genuine issues that I am quite angry about but I am aware also that those same issues have triggered other deeper feelings. And when stuff comes up it is always a golden opportunity to shed more of the excess baggage that gets in the way of me being my wondrous larger self!
So a much more optimistic post this week, who knows what wonders the next week will bring as I move back into a healthier state of mind. And mindfulness and self-care too to make sure I don’t overspend my returning energy.
I’m late again and this time it’s a positive shift in the sea of constant change that has thrown me into an ungrounded state for a time. I discovered the good news late at night when I was getting ready for bed so the timing wasn’t the best. But I did some slow breathing and managed to relax enough to get to sleep soon enough. The next day which is when this post was supposed to be written my Beloved and I moved into our latest lovely house sit. Another positive but I found myself feeling a bit strange and having a bit of a hard time staying in my body.
It’s obvious that something deep in me was triggered by yet another shift in the wonky sands of my current existence. I don’t know what exactly but methinks it was quite likely something to do with survival, base chakra stuff, and with any luck that particular bit of energy has now moved on. I tried to be in the moment as we packed and moved and when I got the chance I also followed up on the new potential that had emerged and in the end I found peace within myself. So if you are experiencing a lot of change even be it positive, just remember that it is still stress for the body and you need to practice self-care.
My self-care included love-making and having a lovely meal cooked for me, a nice hot curry to chase away the cold that’s been hanging around for a week now. All activities that will help you get back into your body, dancing or physical exercise are also helpful with grounding. Of course connecting with Mother Earth is probably one of the best methods, touching nature with your bare skin will release all kinds of stress out of your system. Our new place is close to town but you would never know it, lots of tall trees and birds and so quiet apart from natural sounds.
Dear Mother Nature, thank you so much for the unwavering support that you always offer to me, thank you for the peace you bring with your very presence!
I’ve just experienced a very intense wave of sickness moving through me very quickly, what seemed a clearing cold began to plummet until I felt simply awful. And it appears to be moving on and out just as quickly now as I write these words, feeling like a fresh wind has expelled a whole lot of toxicity from my system. It feels like my body knows what it is doing and if I can mostly stay out of my own way then I can let that tuning run the essentials.
My focus is on the energetic relationship that I am forming with my Beloved every day that we are together, it is my main spiritual practice. This is the practice you can always find time for, for us love-making is extremely important so inspiration can always be found. And we talk, we talk a lot because we spend an enormous amount of time together, we are always letting each other know how we feel. Actually you get so tuned in to the other person you just know anyway, and you don’t have to be a practicing psychic to be able to do that either.
I find ritual very helpful, lighting a candle and stating intentions and chanting can be a powerful way of staying attuned to the flow of energies, in relationship and in the larger community. Following a spiritual path has been the most important motivation for me on the journey I have had in this life. Finding a life partner who has the same strong urge to be a seeker has been the most ecstatic experience of my life so far. Together we keep pushing the envelope on that one and I hope we always will!
At this precise moment my immune system is coming back after a decent workout, slow gradual build over a few days and then whammy. Knock you flat for 24 hours and then feeling the energy coming back into your system just as quickly. Being careful though not to push myself so I can heal sufficiently to do some work tomorrow afternoon and overnight. So in the light of that I shall say goodnight and fare well all you fine ladies and gentlemen!
The horses we looked after for 3 months. Photo by me.
This is going to be a very short post, I’ve just spent two days moving out of our bush paradise back into town and I’ve hardly stopped all day and now it’s time to take care of myself. I don’t want to re-blog something without some kind of good reason so I decided to just be totally honest with you and make this really brief and to the point.
The Single Mother’s Club, both of these wallabies have joeys.
There are times when you have to let go of things you would like to achieve in order to take care of yourself, on the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual, whatever you may need. Yes I could have had a post prepared early but it didn’t happen, if you stick with me and read future blogs they will come from someone whose brain is actually functioning. I promise you it will be fun, informative and sometimes even a bit profound.
But for now farewell and goodnight, sweet dreams to you all, or sweet sunshine depending on your time zone!
Until further notice celebrate everything! ( St Germain through Azena Ramanda).
Once again I find myself dancing with the bug that keeps coming back to haunt me, if things really do come in threes lets hope that this is the last time! I’m feeling much better since my counselling session last week and doing my best to take care of myself while still doing the things that need to be done. I’ve been working on my writing project as well as reading “The Art of Non-Conformity” and inspiration is flowing, although as I sit here writing this post there are butterflies dancing wildly in my belly.
I didn’t wake up with this feeling and am not sure what triggered it, but at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter what it was. I could say it was a thought that obviously didn’t serve me but that wouldn’t actually be accurate, whatever is moving in me needs to move on, and the trigger is a necessary part of the clearing process, so I bless and honour it. But I don’t enjoy the feeling at all, in my days of unconsciousness this is what would drive me to try to blot everything out by getting stoned or drunk.
Now I sit with the feelings and breathe, bringing the notion of devotion into the equation, devotion to my healing process, to the sharing in this blog, devotion to all the special people in my community, and one in particular who is having a birthday today. As I do this the energy in my belly moves out into my arms and legs, and then starts radiating out into the aether as if I have become a small sun. I begin to breathe in and out of my heart and what was a kind of anxiety has transformed into excitement and anticipation. Now I’m feeling a bit light-headed and there is a sense in my body almost as if I could start to levitate!
Wow, what an interesting and quite spontaneous shift! The imagination is a marvelous gift and if you allow it free rein it can take you anywhere you need to go, a good reminder for me as I continue with my writing project and the development of this blog. And my sense is that if I can balance self-care with doing the things I am passionate about I will win the battle of the bug, so be warned denizens of the micro world, this gal is no push over, her immunity is strong!
Balance is the theme here as we are heading towards a New Moon in Libra next saturday, but more on that subject later, for now farewell dear friends, good health to you all!
PS: When I finish this post I am going to go for a brisk walk, excited energy is needing to be channelled, transformation of anxious energy motivating even more self-care!
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Tagged balance, breathe, clearing, community, counselling, devotion, energy, feelings, healing, imagination, immunity, Inspiration, new moon in libra, passion, self-care, shift, The Art of Non-Conformity, transform, trigger