Tag Archives: self-love

Ask For What You Want And Be Free!

in the warsIt’s been an interesting journey since I last posted, and yes quite a bit of it felt like that old Chinese curse/blessing, “May you live in interesting times.” My Beloved and I are inhabiting the in-between realm of transition from the life we have been living to something new that isn’t always completely clear. That of course is where trust comes in, one of the more challenging life lessons that spirit keeps tossing our way. The one on impermanence seems to be settling down somewhat even to the point that we are beginning to move away from our house sitting lifestyle. Not completely but we have a home base that feels very independent now so we will be very picky about where we go from now on.

Have fun.

One of the big lessons from our last house sit was about being clear about what our needs are and giving them a high value. We ended up sharing our space because we let the needs of others be more important than our own. Of course there are times when it is appropriate to put someone else first but you need to be conscious about what you are doing and why. My Beloved needs regular solitude in order to be a happy and healthy human being but he had to bring this basic need into his awareness and then learn how to ask for it. Sounds simple doesn’t it but it has been a very challenging process for him. How easy do you find it to actually ask for what you want in life?

higher self

It’s the old story, we might know what we want but the idea of asking for it brings up all sorts of uncomfortable feelings. My early conditioning was so thorough I often had trouble even knowing what it was that I wanted, especially when it came to my sexuality. There is such freedom in expressing your truth no matter what! I’ve said it before and I will say it again, beyond the discomfort is a whole new realm of possibility and transformation. Don’t accept the limitations that Western culture uses to keep its populations under control. Be the magnificent being that is hiding in the depths beneath all those shallow materialistic concerns.

Be the best that you can be and love yourself exactly as you are!

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The Dance Is The Balancing Act Of Life!

Mother Nature's Balancing Act!

Mother Nature’s Balancing Act!

Things move afoot and the dance is to surrender to the wave of life force energy even when there is pain. There are lessons to be learned in surrendering to what is, even as you may be aware of positive changes that may help you navigate your journey.  It’s a balancing act but if you remain open to the wonder and joy of life then you find you are much more open to miraculous possibility. Here am I feeling somewhat sorry for myself as my shoulder flares up yet again, possibly even worse this time! Not fun but I do try to surrender and lo and behold my landlady gives me a lesson in binding myself with yoga straps and helping my shoulder no end.

Mine is across the top of the chest but you get the idea!

Mine is across the top of the chest but you get the idea!

The dance has been much upon my mind and even as I may retreat a little as I take good care of my sore bits, it is still swirling around. Not sure of a venue at this very moment so feeling the urge to share and a bit frustrated that it may be a while before we manage to do another dance. More than anything I feel that I need to be gentle and kind with me and let myself have a day off, at least until it’s time to go to work tonight!

So I will keep this short and finish by sharing with you my latest favourite bit of music, from a band called Lamb who have an awesome song called ‘Gorecki’ that we have used in more than one playlist. ‘All In Your Hands’ will definitely be making it on to a playlist once we get rolling again in the wave of ecstasy that is created by gathering people and giving them the space to express themselves  in movement to music.

Enjoy the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dWzbG2ie4M

Traces of The Past, Letting Go Ecstatically.

It’s a bleak day and my Beloved is away, but my life is so full of happiness these days, I can hardly feel blue. But I can feel ‘stuff’ moving through and the cold, wet and windy day, seems like rather a large reflection of this. I let go of a few bits of baggage, an echo of loss, traces of abandonment, these wounds run deep but surely the layers will run out one day. They certainly become less and less over time as you shed, and what you attract into your life shifts with it.

But you will require patience on a path of this kind, the road to my current ecstatic space has been pretty rocky at times. Sometimes you have to take risks as you follow your heart. And finding self-love is such an important foundation to live an inspired and ecstatic life, living with purpose! Somehow most of the crazy shit I’ve done in this existence is coming together and will help me to step even more fully upon my spiritual path. Look for a common thread that runs through your life, for me it has been an eternal fascination with consciousness, altered states of all kinds.

ayahuasca image 2

Don’t settle for anything less than all that you can be, we are living in times of great transition, end times, and there is the opportunity to write new stories for a new age. And so I go into my cave as the wind blows outside my door, and I cosy up to a hot water bottle, eating chocolate and reading books about magic. A time of rest as the Mother washes us clean and nourishes the plants making everything green again. At the moment it can’t be seen much through the mist, hoping it will clear next weekend for the Maleny Music Weekend.

maleny music weekend 14

Looking forward to seeing my Beloved this evening, couldn’t wait for four days so we meet sort of half way to sleep in each others arms before he arms himself and goes back to the big smoke. Not my knight in shining armour but my King, someone I can rely on to be strong and steady even as he shows his tenderest heart.

Thank you my Love…………blissings to you all!

The Fire Of Love Never Runs Out.

My photo of my fire reborn!

My photo of my fire reborn!

The theme tonight is fire, death and rebirth, the power of three and the power of persistence, of never giving up………..just as love never stops or runs out. Anger, resentment, jealousy, pride and arrogance, even sorrow eventually will run out, but love just keeps on going. So if you can tap into that ocean which is always here you have become one with a power that is about as renewable as energy gets!

“The lover who leans upon the beloved’s response, his love is like the flame that needs oil to live; but the lover who stands on his own feet, is like the lantern of the sun that burns without oil.”

Hazrat Inayat Khan.

The Phoenix of flame rising from the ashes , hope burns eternal!

The Phoenix of flame rising from the ashes , hope burns eternal!

My beloved left a fire set for me to light as he would not be home until late, I treasure his delight in contributing to my happiness and enjoy a good fire so I set fire to paper before it was dark. All seemed well and I thought the fire was taking well but alas it failed, I girded my loins and mustered some fuel and managed to find a flame but again it seemed to die. After the third time I had almost given up but as I gazed at the fire I saw there was a bed of coals and the smaller log was glowing. I blew upon it and flames licked up, I coaxed the hot coals to deliver the heat that would finally get my fire going, the juices of my creativity that have been brewing in this lovers nest.

Look here my fire looks like a scene from outer space!

Look here my fire looks like a scene from outer space!

Oh what fun to explore the pathways of consciousness and connection and to share that with other beings, fellow seekers on the path of bliss and self-love. As we approach the Winter Solstice it is time to consider what you may be ready to shed, to let go of in the darkness of the longest night of the year, transforming into a rebirth as a new day dawns. But before that we have a Sagittarius Full Moon, the adventurous traveller and explorer of different realities inner and outer. The optimist who will always see the world as an exciting place to discover and who is therefore much more likely to be able to navigate turbulent times.

travel

And we are living in tumultuous times, the possibility for positive change has never been so full even as we seem to see the dark forces triumphing over the poor and the helpless. Use your imagination to link with the powerful energies we are a part of and help us all to create the world we all want to live in, all of a sudden one day it will be here and there will be nothing that the ignorant can do about it. And perhaps even they will wake at the last, evolution ensures that we all will wake and flow through the process that eventually returns us to the unity that we have come from.

So be it, so be it, so be it.

Practice Loving And Find Peace.

This image comes from what looks like a wonderful business that brings yoga into the workplace: yogaworkflow.com

This image comes from what looks like a wonderful business that brings yoga into the workplace: yogaworkflow.com

I am thinking a lot about the fact that I’m not doing much yoga at the moment, I know it will come back into my routine but I can feel the difference in my body. Although my physical self is mostly feeling pretty good owing to my loving workouts in the sensual world of tantra and body awareness, thank you to the Beloved, all of it. But I will be glad when I shift back into more regular practice because for me it is something that is grounding and irons out any kinks that I may have put in over a day.

yogasun

It is so important to move your body, in fact your lymph system depends on it, that plays a vital role in the flow of blood in the circulatory system so being physically active is really important. The lymphatic system is also a key factor in maintaining our health, it is integral to the body’s ability to detox and to maintain a strong immune system. We do tend to do a lot of things sitting for sometimes long periods, I will tend to stretch my neck if I am working for long enough but I am sure I could introduce more self-awareness into my sedentary times.  Here is a link to an article about the lymphatic system: http://www.naturaltherapypages.com.au/article/lymphatic_system

It always comes back to awareness really, from that place flows all potential and possibility, see what is there and create whatever you want out in the quantum soup. So much of my journey is about letting go of the limitations that I have accepted and put upon myself, as we all have each in our own unique way. So I don’t give myself a hard time for not doing a lot of yoga, it’s not like I’m miserable or having a hard time at the moment. Life is good and I will do my best to bring my awareness to any health issues with curiosity and positivity, mostly I am concerned with prevention rather than a cure.

Quantum_Healing

There are almost certainly other methods that can create that difference in the body, it is about feeling toned and strong, I keep threatening to go to a dance class called Nia, don’t know yet if I will like it but dancing for my cardio workout sounds like an awesome idea! But I know I will come back to my yoga too, my body just adores being in that space, it has always felt like something I was being reminded of rather than taught. I suspect a number of lives back there in the deeps of time and space where spirituality and yoga were my life, at the very least it is an energy that I resonate with.

Pranayama.

Pranayama.

So if you go through times when you are not doing things that you love and are good for you, first step is to be kind to yourself. There is always a reason and change is important in life, when you come back to your practice you may find it has changed in a positive fashion. The same way that separation in  relationship can sometimes be a way of integrating change and ultimately making the relationship stronger.

I invite you to try out a loving practice with yourself, just for one day really notice when your mind makes a judgement about someone, it may be a stranger on the street. The practice is to send that person love instead, no reason why you can’t do it with bigger more impersonal issues too, sending your enemies love is actually a great strategy. But more on that in another post, time to let you go until the next time we meet!

Ohm shanti, shanti, shanti…………..peace, peace, peace.

ohmshanti

 

The Gentle Shift Into Love Of Self.

Anima Animus by Toni Carmine Salerno

Anima Animus by Toni Carmine Salerno

Well here I am on the ‘other’ side and I came through in a gentle fashion, I must confess to being somewhat relieved. I can’t tell you what I let go of or even exactly what information came through, I think that we sometimes receive downloads from spirit that only come into our conscious awareness when we need that particular knowledge. So I went deep and came out feeling peaceful and calm and with an enormous sense of gratitude for my extraordinary life. To share sacred circle space with your Beloved is the most exquisite joy and something I’ve been yearning for, it was certainly on my wish list when I used to think about the kind of relationship I wanted in my life.

sacredmarriage

Masculine Feminine SpiritForceAfter the ceremony the terror did return but I was not so attached to it this time and so it was much easier to ride the edge and to allow the energy to be released. As I sit here writing I can feel a trembling in the cells of my body that is the shift which is flowing out of the letting go of tension and fear. I will do the psychotherapy session that I have planned and I will continue to be with my Beloved in those deep places where we open to the Divine together. And I will continue to listen to my inner voice in order to know how to support the physical side of this affair, if I am truly honest there is always a part of me that knows the right course of action. And more and more I do actually follow the guidance of this inner wisdom that we all have access to. And if I don’t sometimes I promise faithfully not to give myself a hard time for it, it only makes matters worse!

So the journey continues and as I let go of self-loathing and terror I open the path for positive energies to flow freely in my life, as my good friend Michael Laughing Wolf always says, “Love self, do next thing”.

A New Screenplay For A New Life!

redwomanmovingI have been reflecting a little on the process that I have gone through in the last ten years of being not only single, but celibate. Ok so there were a couple of poor decisions in that decade and a blissful interlude with a dear friend and cuddle buddy, but essentially I was on my own and very focused on healing myself. I made a vow not to move into relationship until I had healed the patterns that led to dysfunctional behaviours, to shift my frequency and to attract something very different this time, and to hang in there no matter how long it took.

Who would have thought it would take so long! There have been so many layers to shed, it’s like the old proverbial can of worms, once it has been opened it all has to come out. And I have made a vow on more than one occasion, to heal everything in this lifetime, these vows are powerful statements of intention and if you put enough of your belief behind them they can be quite unstoppable. Hence the expression “Be careful what you ask for, the Gods may give it to you”, I have had moments when I doubted that I would ever make it to my desired outcome, in fact a big part of the process was letting go of needing an outcome.

Boy_Girl_Love

The journey to a happy relationship is through the doorway of love of self, you need to feel worthy of happiness and joy, have the courage to speak your feelings with clarity, know that you are love itself having an earthly experience. I’ve been doing some powerful work creating a new reality for myself and these reflections remind me that spirit will do the details better than I ever could, I just need to focus on the ‘essence’ of what it is I desire to have more of in my life.

And the truly interesting thing that is happening for me at the moment? Now that I am in a space of feeling secure with my Beloved the need to fantasize about the future is quite gone, being in the present moment is more than sufficient. Fay Fairytale is using her imaginative talents to direct the movie of my life when I spend time doing my morning meditations, feels like energy is flowing well and all I have to do is follow the flow as best I can………….singing and dancing along the way!