Tag Archives: sexual

Life And Death.

There’s been a bit of a theme in my life these past few weeks, and it’s one of the biggies, death, which is the other side of life, and something we don’t really talk about in this culture. Other cultures have whole books devoted to the subject of how to pass from life into death, I’m talking about ‘The Tibetan Book of the Dead’. I’ve never read it but it talks about all the different stages that happen as you go through the dying process, here we tend to deny even the possibility of death until the last-minute, and then get dragged kicking and screaming into something that terrifies us.

The_grim_reaper

Because I felt responsible for my father’s suicide, I’ve created this strange connection between sexuality and death, although I guess it’s not that strange, after all sexual energy is the life force and death is it’s opposite. Sort of like yin and yang, masculine and feminine, the sun and the moon, they complement each other to create a balance, without which life as we know it would not be possible. My sexual flowering seemed to result in my father’s death, not rational, but that’s what has been held inside me for all of these years, and an awful lot of my shedding this past month has been around that issue.

And as often happens it is reflected in a myriad of other ways, I had to bury a chook this morning, not far from the guinea pig’s grave. It was sad, but I didn’t feel responsible for the passing of either of these animals, I know I did my best for them and there is no guilt there for me at all. I take it as a sign that I am making real progress in the process of release, it may not all be cleared, but an awful lot has gone, no wonder it was so painful.

It’s as if the sun has come out after a time of stormy darkness, and the weather has actually reflected this with the stunning day of blue skies and sunshine that I’ve enjoyed today. I found this great film of one of the songs from the musical ‘Hair’, it’s kind of a flash mob version of ‘Let The Sunshine In’, hope you enjoy it as much as I did! Love and radiance to you all………sunny blissings.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=klObyJY1W_I

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Sexy Scorpio Does Flamenco.

From the shadow into the light! Dancing in the connections of loving frequencies I move on my own feet, in my own power, gliding across the ocean of love………… Life is a dance, between microcosm and macrocosm, atoms whirling through enormous space, nothing much is solid actually. What you can really rely on, is trust, trust and the path of the heart, the space of non judgement, the pathway of quiet fullness. Showing off allowed if it comes from the heart and gets my being singing with joy, particularly when flamenco dancing!

Red Flamenco Shoes.

Red Flamenco Shoes.

Olivia Baile.

Olivia Baile.

Flamenco-shoes

I am loving my flamenco classes more and more, so glad I gave it a go, almost didn’t, great teacher helps. As you can probably tell from my choice of pictures, I particularly like the flamenco shoes, bought my first pair, Salvios, on eBay, Goddess I love those shoes. The heels take a little getting used to, but its all worth it as you start to be able to let go of the technique, and begin to really enjoy the dance. Flamenco is all about attitude and showing off, but to get to a stage of being able to actually do a performance, you need to develop a set of skills that are well and truly worth showing off.

It’s good for my shoulders, a vulnerable place for me since my initiation in the Blue Mountains in 2008, if you would like to read that story check out four posts beginning with “The Birth Canal” on March 8 2013 and ending with “The Healing” on March 11 2013. All that fabulous shoulder movement in flamenco, almost seemed like a strain at first, but the more I do the stronger they get, that and the push ups I do most days. It’s also a wonderful arena to explore the realms of confidence and high self-esteem, and to channel sexual energy, mmmmmmm the dance moves do feel sexy………..

They say if you have Scorpio in your chart you think about sex a lot, my Scorpio moon is obviously letting loose with its influence, its having its way with my body and soul, a double helping please!

Sex Is Everything!

Energy lies coiled in the base of the spine they say, I can feel it curling and caressing my sacrum, waiting for the opening, the opportunity to burst forth with great pleasure and joy. The desire to share this is powerful, but the first step is to bring it fully into myself, to give myself permission to experience pleasure bursting forth in every cell of my divine body!

Oh to have to wait, anticipate……………..there’s a choice to be made, I could be mad that time is not to be had………..mmmmmmmmm not a path that draws me to it. Or I could bring anticipation into every moment, convey the brimming life force into every ordinary activity, into every encounter as I move through the landscape of my existence.

My sexual energy infuses my whole life, I used to keep it in a separate box and only bring it out on special occasions, and my life was the poorer for it. Now as I allow this natural force to flow, so my reality is beginning to reflect a larger possibility for prosperity on all levels of my being. I can see it in my work on the crisis lines where my newfound clarity is cutting through confusion and despair, and helping me to truly HEAR and UNDERSTAND, feels like magic!

I am doing better business at my weekly market and having the most delicious connections with beautiful people, as the flow comes in myriad forms. I am beginning to connect with men who are conscious and aware, and while that may sometimes trigger my stuff it is of course a blessing, because it is clearing the way for more luscious energy to be freed up.

I become more happy with every day, with every shift and release of the baggage that has weighed me down for so long. The times I’m not happy I’m generally moving stuff through, and so it keeps moving until it’s completely gone, and there is a space left inside as my inner realm becomes bigger and bigger. We are so much more than we think we are, I believe indeed that we ARE infinite beings and that love is the fuel which can run everything from the heart space, the place which I call home.

Heartfelt blissings from an expanded and glowing being of infinite potential!

Quantum Fractal Energy Mandala: on Facebook.

Quantum Fractal Energy Mandala: on Facebook.

Realm of Innocence
From your innermost secret garden will flow Rivers of Living Light

In Love’s openness an entrance is granted to your Realm of Innocence, this is your secret garden a place of intimate magic and manifested wonder. You are an extraordinary soul-light in this dancing Cosmos. Your joy, your desire, your pleasure lights the way home. ~Keith Allen Kay

Uneasy Belly.

Well the mobile mechanic was actually cheaper so there you go, never make assumptions and remember how smart your gut is! The car is now sounding a bit rough but I am hoping the drive to work tonight will smooth it out, my belly is uneasy again which I suspect is more letting go, as I move into the energies of the new year.

The new year………. what will it bring…………….my beloved, financial flow, optimum health, and the continuing evolution of my spiritual task. I did a workshop at Woodford (see my end note) where we were shown how to create a symbol for specific intentions, and then ways in which to harness our life force or sexual energy to empower the process. Perhaps I should start with creating plenty of time for everything I want to do, because that seems to be something I am always in short supply of.

My uneasy belly is making it very challenging to write this post but I don’t have time to go off and do anything about it, I notice that when I bring my attention to it and take a very conscious breath the energy swirling around in there seems to move upwards in my body. The feelings are definitely on the move and will progress up and eventually out the crown chakra, I don’t know the specifics of whatever story they are attached to, but my sense is that it is connected to feeling unworthy and not being good enough.

The old story of low self-esteem has so many layers, I have been shedding layer after layer for so many years. And while there always seems to be that little bit more, I can also say that my feelings of self-love have grown enormously in the same time frame. It is a challenging journey but soooooooo worth the effort, my life keeps getting better, and even when I am having difficult days there are always moments of pure bliss and joy, the simple happiness of loving myself and everything around me.

Energy on the move!

Energy on the move!

The workshop I referred to was run by Andy and Laurel from www.awakeningcentre.com.au/, check them out they are doing amazing work!