Tag Archives: shamanic

Into The Ground Again: A Story Of Grounding.

moontime sacred womanSo here once again is my tale of being buried in the ground for 12 hours. There are never any accidents really you know, there will be a message for me in this reflection of a very powerful shamanic experience which I will never forget. So here for your enjoyment ladies and gentlemen is part one of a four-part story, my time beneath the ground!

Time for a bit of grounding after the latest round of shifts, and what better way to do that than to reflect on my experience of being buried in the earth. I think it was 2004 and I was at the annual gathering of shamanic apprentices, known as Convocation, at a centre where I did a lot of my shamanic studies over a few years.

shamanwhite

We began with the men and women in separate spaces for the first couple of days doing our own business, and then on the third day we came together in ceremony and gathered in the tipi. Our teacher spoke and we listened, eventually he began to talk about a process we were being offered, something the men had already experienced. They had dug shallow graves and been buried in them for 12 hours and now we had an opportunity to do the same thing.

It was a bit scary but how could I refuse! We began to prepare ourselves which included becoming part of a tribal structure of four tribes, we were painted with the symbols of our tribe and got to choose the man who would put us into the ground, stand watch, and then bring us out in the morning. We sat and listened as the men told us of what it was like for them being in the earth and the different ways that they coped with the feelings and sensations that came up for them.

letting-go

You can imagine that being buried would tend to bring up a lot of your stuff! I had a rather practical concern that had nothing to do with my fears and everything to do with my bladder, actually they say if you have to pee a lot that it’s all about being pissed off, and therefore it’s often associated with anger. Anyway, I wanted to last the distance and stay buried for the whole 12 hours so as soon as I realised what we were going to be doing I stopped drinking any liquids.

And so at 7pm as the sun was westering we came to our graves, lined with sheets and doonas, comfortable, yet forbidding. I was in a strange space of unreality, like being caught between the worlds, betwixt the veils that keep our so-called reality in the shape that we are able to recognise. I was about to take a step into the unknown, I knew not what I would find there, but my trepidation was infused with excitement at the prospect of diving into the depths of the mother, into the dark womb of the void.

The Earth's Embrace.

Tune into my next post to find out what happened next, you have 24 hours of antici…………….pation to move through! Of course I realise that you all have a life and many other fascinating things to occupy your time with, but allow me just this once, to be a bit of a drama queen. After all this is a pretty dramatic story.

PS: I was posting every day back then in February 2013, so I am afraid you will have to wait until next Wednesday!

Mythic Tales And The Moon: Letting Go.

heart-brainI’m supposed to be preparing you for a four-part re-blog of an epic tale about being buried alive for 12 hours as a shamanic ritual. But you might just have to wait for one post because I have a lot of energies swirling through my being at this moment and I think that putting it into words may be therapeutic  for me. And maybe even for you!

catmoonI’ve been noticing this little bit of anxiety in my belly the last couple of days and I do have a big event coming up in the next few days so you may think that is what it’s all about. But the thing is this feels quite familiar and I associate it with my moon time coming up, but not all the time. When there is a lot of ‘stuff’ coming up for me it can really impact me in the days before I begin to bleed. The menstrual flow is a grand opportunity for all that ‘stuff’ to move and to be released from the body. Not just physically but mentally, emotionally and spiritually, you might think of it as a cosmic clean out.

So it makes me a bit sad to hear young women regarding their moon bleed as a nuisance, it is a time when women can become more intuitive, receptive and powerful. It requires a shift from the perception of power to be all in the physical tangible world that is prescribed by the current paradigm. Instead value is given to understanding the realms of the unconscious, the deep mysteries that we are all a part of whether we are conscious of it or not.

Moon Goddess.

Moon Goddess.

Anyway I am trying to harness this power right here and now in my preparation time for going away to the Joining Gathering. It is a good reminder to embrace whatever feelings are moving in me, the good, the bad, and the ugly! As I write this I begin to feel a shift in the anxiety, it feels more like excitement. I know what I have to do, I need to write my story now as a mythic tale so that all the conditions become my path to wisdom and love. Or at least start thinking like that, no time for me to tell you that story so can we make a deal? You go off and give it a go for yourself, tell your life story as if it were a mythic tale. And feel free to share any experiences you may have.

soul artIf you feel like it that is, anyway, in the meantime, FOLLOW YOUR BLISS!

Yearning Is The Key To Love.

consciouslove“Your yearning for love is so powerful that I can feel your heart all the time. When you openly love me I can feel your heart, but I can also feel your heart’s yearning when you are angry or sad. To me your heart is always calling even though sometimes I am unable to open with you because your emotions divert me. I may be afraid or distracted and you may be upset, but  still I feel your heart’s yearning. And I need to feel your heart. Your yearning draws me back into love’s depth.  Your yearning is my invitation into your heart.”

Dear Lover, David Deida, Sounds True, Boulder CO, 2005, p 11.

I think I am beginning to truly understand the power that a woman has in love-making when she stays in her heart and radiates lots of yummy energy. And actually it isn’t just when you are connecting with each other sexually that this process can be happening, just as David Deida says in the above quote, your man needs to feel your heart. Be in that place all the time, when you are washing dishes or taking out the rubbish, if times are tough you will navigate them better when you stay in your heart.

Heart-Light

“Deep heart yearning is not a problem to be solved, but a divine pull to open as devotional surrender, as wide as all, now. With or without a man, whether or not you feel worthy, you can offer your heart’s openness  through your yearning, right now, as you are.”

David Deida, p 12.

For me this quote sums up in many ways my entire spiritual path, particularly since I embarked on shamanic techniques, ceremony, sound, dance, psychedelics, bodywork and breath work, for the last 13 years. For ten years I took myself on many journeys that all ultimately led to the same place, my own heart, loving myself. In my wonderful home I have re-built the last part of my self-esteem and let go of much of my old patterning in relationship.

heartchakravenus

Now I am doing it with my man and while the new beginning, the dawning chapter of my opening is a little daunting at times, still we navigate it with good communication and a lot of love. My breasts and in particular the nipples are doorways to expand the heart that open up the channels so that sexual energy can flow, this feels good and can enhance your well-being at any time of the day or night! There are many resources out there my sisters and loving men if you want to find out more about this phenomenon, Diana Richardson’s  Tantric Orgasm for women is a wonderful book that talks about this.

But the best research is experiential so go to it my friends, for men on their own the recipe may vary but there is great information out there for all beings wanting to fully express their life energy in the world. Don’t settle for anything less, the path may seem a bit rocky at times but always worth it and never boring, the further I go along the path of the heart the more it becomes an ecstatic journey anyway.

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Until further notice celebrate everything! From Saint Germain through Azena Ramada.

An Old Angel.

A few weeks ago I did a reading for an older man who appeared very conservative, so I was a bit surprised when at the end of the reading he tuned in and gave me a reading too! It was the last thing I expected, but I guess spirit felt it important to send me a message, and the messengers often don’t come in the forms that we expect them to. I think this man was an Earth Angel, and he told me that I needed to do something about my neck, which is absolutely true, and he also said that I needed to connect more with the earth with my bare skin.

OldAngelEtching

That really resonated with me, but I’ve been so busy it’s been almost impossible to find the time to do that, and in the busyness I tend to forget anyway. I remembered a couple of days ago when I was feeling a bit wiped out and needing to recharge my batteries to get through my overnight shift, and just 15 minutes lying on the earth made an enormous difference. Then I was telling a friend about this and she asked me if I’d ever put my back against a tree and connected with tree consciousness.

The answer to that question is a big YES, in shamanic trainings I did we often went out into the bush and found a tree to commune with. I remember tuning in to fern consciousness once and it was fascinating, ferns are a group consciousness like ants or bees and they have a much quicker energy than trees tend to. If you need to slow down then connect with a tree, there was a 150 year old Moreton Bay Fig tree in Sydney that I used to go and sit with when I lived there.  She was the guardian spirit of a very old church yard and I used to think of her as my grandmother, she gave me wonderful advice when I had difficult decisions to make and I really trusted her wisdom.

When we dishonour and disrespect nature we’re really doing it to ourselves, it is a reflection of the modern worlds inability to truly honour and love self. Not self as a separate individual all alone in the world, no…………the authentic presence that I AM is connected to all things. The cosmos, the trees, the animals and plants and rocks and minerals, there is no part of life which I am not a part of, nothing that is not me.

Spirit In The City.

My recent trip away demonstrated to me once again that part of my role is to be a bridge between different worlds, in a shamanic sense we are talking about otherworldly realms. But in societal terms it is about moving in circles that almost feel like they are on different planets, even though they are in the same city. Rich and poor is an obvious contrast but even within the one strand you will find a huge variety in how people think about the meaning of life.

Sydney, Australia.

Sydney, Australia.

What I do encounter in the city on the rare occasions when I do go there, is the sense that a lot of the time people are actually trying to avoid thinking about meaning and purpose in relation to themselves. This is of course endemic in the culture but somehow it feels a lot stronger in a place where there are so many people packed into the environment. Everyone is rushing around until its time to settle in front of the television and turn off the brain, more of a dulling down in my opinion rather than relaxation.

Jacaranda trees in the city.

Jacaranda trees in the city.

Of course not everyone is looking to play their part in the latest zombie movie, I spent a few days with a friend who is a ray of sunshine in the cityscape. She held a toning night for me where I got to meet other amazing souls and connect with old friends. We toned for a woman in her nineties who was passing over at that time and it was incredibly powerful, I was toning with two of my toning buddies the next day and we felt it when she passed.

So if your destiny is to be in an urban landscape there is no reason why it cannot be a positive and uplifting journey, there is much to be done to change the way we do cities and the right people need to be there playing their part. For me though, the country is where I must be, this is where the land and I will sing together, nestled in the bossom of a wondrous and caring community.

May the land and I be one, forever and ever, amen……………..HO!

My Guru, My Guru.

I used to think that Gurus were not such a great idea, it seemed to me that in order to have one you had to give away your power, and I was doing that enough without adding to it! I guess it would have been St Germain that would have been my guru but he was temporary in coming through Azena Ramanda, so I moved on to direct communication after that. Not being attached to a particular form, he brings me messages in many different ways. I thought having a guru on earth might be a bit of a drawback, taking the focus away from self, but after hearing stories of their guru, from Krishna Das and Ram Das, I have a different perspective.

They can be a doorway into that deeper dive into the self, into the quantum field of raw potential, a true guru will not take your power. What you choose to give away is your business, enjoy the stepping up into the limelight as you empower yourself with every step. A true guru will assist you in finding coherence, where the heart and the head and everything else is vibrating at just the right frequency, that of love. You can go there in so many ways, keep exploring doorways, it’s the evolution into a spiritual future, enlightenment.

I am my own guru these days, getting clearer and clearer on that one, developing the shamanic pathways for healing, bodywork, psychic/aura readings, sound healing, holistic counselling, writing/teaching. Lots of fun and inspiration to be had, bit more tech savvy would be good, me learning or help, don’t mind which one. But gurus can connect you to the place in yourself where you ARE LOVE, they can inspire and uplift in all sorts of different ways. Ram Dass is a guru no doubt to many, adepts or addicts, need to get stuck and then eventually be free of method, in the end we are all one in the unified field of consciousness that Rupert Sheldrake talks about, he and Bruce Lipton finally met properly and this is the conversation, its long but well worth it!

Rupert Sheldrake and Bruce Lipton.

Rupert Sheldrake and Bruce Lipton.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0o50jpPqQqA

In India when we meet and part we often say, ‘Namaste’, which means: I honor the place in you where the entire universe resides; I honor the place in you of love, of light, of truth, of peace. I honor the place within you where if you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me, there is only one of us.

~ Ram Dass

Let The Grief Go.

Even before I began my conscious shamanic journey, I was beginning to develop that larger part of self, through tarot readings, automatic writing, and an instinctive urge to express long suppressed feelings. I had no idea what I was doing, but I followed my intuition and flowed into the places that it took me to. I wrote poetry to express what I was feeling, and that really came in handy when Ayrton Senna was killed in front of my eyes on a race track in Italy in 1994.

Ayrton Senna.

Ayrton Senna.

I had been obsessed with him, and I was totally grief stricken for weeks afterwards, I cried and cried and wrote many poems to express the intensity of my feelings. At the time I was focused on the loss of this man who had been a kind of role model for me, I was certainly attracted to him but it was his passionate determination to be himself no matter what anyone else thought, and his integrity that truly inspired me. I know now that while I was genuinely grieving for Ayrton, along with thousands of people around the globe, I was also releasing grief for my father.

Malidoma Patrice Some.

Malidoma Patrice Some.

This concept is well understood in the village that Malidoma Some comes from, he describes a ritual where the immediate family has carers to keep them from harm, so that they can completely let go in their grief. The entire community participates, and there is an understanding that this is an opportunity to release any feelings that people may be holding on to from the past. What a refreshing view of the healing power of strong emotions expressed in the moment, how much would our constipated, uptight, overly structured and regulated society benefit from such practices!

malidomasomebook

Malidoma Some is an African shaman who brings the knowledge of his people to the Western culture, he is a bridge between the worlds, read his book “Of Water And The Spirit”, you won’t be able to put it down.

And even if you are not into car racing you will love this documentary about Ayrton Senna, my mum loved it and she hates sport!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFzx2PnBhYc

Fragments Of Self.

                     The shaman begins to drum and dance calling the power of the universe to her as she puts her egoic self aside and becomes an empty vessel that fills with the help of the spirits.
            The client lies quietly in the center breathing deeply to be in a receptive state to receive back his lost soul; his lost vitality.
            The shaman sings her journey out loud as she tracks down where the soul has fled. And on finding it returns and blows it deeply into the heart of the client filling the entire body with the light of life.
            There is a great joy for all as one heals all are healed. The community is now whole again and can be in peace and harmony.

Sandra Ingerman: Soul Retrieval: http://www.sandraingerman.com/soulretrieval.html

soulretrievalingermanshamanwhite

One of the ways that we deal with trauma in our lives is to leave our bodies, so as not to feel the full impact of the crisis, it’s a survival mechanism that actually works quite well if there’s an understanding of what’s going on. Parts of our soul may leave altogether in that moment, but this is a concept that is not understood or accepted in our current western culture. So instead of doing the healing straight away we end up losing more and more of who we are, the world gradually becomes a duller place and most of the time we don’t even realise that it’s happening.

After years of healing trauma after trauma I began to experience a much sharper appreciation of the world around me, colours, sights, sounds and smells are more vivid than they used to be. It’s like I am returning to the perception of being a child, but bringing to that the knowledge and understanding that I have developed as I’ve moved along my healing path. Whenever one individual becomes more whole, the entire community benefits and this is something that is well understood in indigenous cultures that view the world from a shamanic perspective.

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We are all interconnected on so many levels, without a recognition of this basic fact of existence, the current civilisation is likely to become a part of this latest process of extinction that is occurring on the planet at this time. We do need to change and I tend to be the eternal optimist on this subject, if I can create huge fundamental change in myself and my life, then so can everyone else!

Bring it on!

Out Of The Cocoon.

I was reflecting the other day upon the butterfly theme that keeps cropping up in my posts on a fairly regular basis, for a time I considered it to be one of my totems. It probably isn’t so much these days, the snake has well and truly taken over that role, and it represents the really deep shedding from my core that’s been happening for the last two years, particularly since the summer solstice of 2012. The world may not have ended, but it certainly went through a huge shift, and for myself, I feel so different it’s as if the world did finish at that point in time.

But for a time in the early naughties the butterfly was my symbol, it represented transformation and freedom, I always loved the idea that the butterflies were tasting the petals with their feet as they danced from flower to flower. A butterfly came to visit me at the end of 2001 when my mother and I were setting up the stall for our last Woodford Folk Festival on Christmas Day. I kept shooing it out, the tent was baking hot and not a good place for such a delicate creature. I thought it had gone but towards the end of the day I found it, it had been determined to stay with us, and I was touched that it had chosen to spend its last day with me and mum.

Butterfly in flight.

Butterfly in flight.

I felt that the butterfly had come to tell me that it was my time to come out of the cocoon and to begin my transformation, I was about to do my first deep shamanic training starting on January 2nd, and so the timing was very significant. It was the beginning for me of fundamental change that came from a deep exploration of my being, and the release of cellular memory, the beginning of the long path home.

It’s All About Me.

I just read my last post and in particular the quote from Krishna Das about the spiritual path, and I do think I’m doing ok as far as  being kinder to myself and others goes, I’m happier and more content, and treating others as I would like to be treated. The bit that gave me pause was when he talks about obsessing less about yourself and all your stuff, anyone who’s been reading this blog will know that is exactly what I have been obsessing about, and in quite some detail!

I began this whole process wanting to explore my writing, but of course you need some kind of focus to write about, especially when the aim is to post every day, it’s quite a committment. In order to continue to find inspiration, I had to choose a subject I’m truly fascinated by, it wasn’t hard to work out what that was. I’ve been thoroughly obsessed by my own journey of healing and for the last eleven years the focus sharpened even more as I explored the shamanic approach.

But even in my late teens I was doing my best to understand my traumas, that’s how I learned to read tarot cards. I was seventeen when mum gave me a set of cards and I spent many a night, sometimes all night sitting up with them and puzzling over the meanings. I always got a lot of swords in those days which means big challenges often accompanied by emotional intensity and stuff coming up. I didn’t really know what to do with those painful emotions in those days, but over time I did at least achieve an intellectual understanding of what had happened to me. And the journey as a reader had begun, I used that same pack until a year ago when I got a strong message to change the way I was working. I’ve become more flexible and intuitive in my approach and the readings get more and more accurate.

So to come back to my original thought, am I being too obsessive about myself and my stuff? I guess the proof is in the pudding as they say, and my life and sense of health and well-being is so much better than it was five or ten years ago. As a healer it’s really helpful to be able to share my own experiences with my clients, it gives me empathy and helps me to offer suggestions as to how they might move forward.

So at the end of the day I’m voting for a yes as the answer to my question, I don’t know where this writing journey is taking me, but that it is a part of my passion and I’m having heaps of fun with it cannot be denied.

I hereby offer up a prayer to the Muses, please keep inspiring me to play with words and keep me on the straight and narrow, straight from the heart that is. Love and inspiration to you all!

its-all-about-me