Tag Archives: sitting with uncomfortable feelings

Riding The Wave Of Change!

We live in a  world made of energy and mine feels like it is forming into a giant wave for my Beloved and I to ride into a wondrous new beginning! We are starting a new business, looking for a new place to live, and planning a wedding, all at the same time. Feels a bit overwhelming sometimes but overall it feels like positive energy that is emerging from all the deep inner work that we have been doing this year. Many people shy away from going deep within as it often means having to sit with uncomfortable feelings. Without an understanding of the process they think that inner work must be negative as it seems only to lead to difficult feelings. That can certainly be true in the short term but if you are prepared to persist then it is possible for the discomfort to be dissolved and for space to be made so new energies can come in.

spiritual awakening

I describe the persistence as being ‘bloody minded’ and it is a quality that I seem to have in great abundance even as there has been scarcity in other parts of my belief systems. Even when it seemed like nothing would ever change I stuck to my inner journey and I felt the horrible feelings. What I have noticed as I progress is that it becomes easier and easier to bring awareness to my body and to my mind, to see the patterns in my behaviour and thoughts. This is essentially because there is less getting in the way of my being able to see what is going on in the moment that I am in. So I am now in a space where I can allow myself to receive great abundance from Spirit and I can be open to that flow in whatever form it arrives in.

Rainbow Gnome.So one of the shapes of our new beginning is full of vibrant rainbow coloured clothing, partnered with wise and funny words from the Rainbow Gnome. It is still forming at the moment but we will be launching with what we do have on the first Saturday in September at the Crystal Waters Market. I did not expect to be doing markets again but I couldn’t resist the lure of the rainbow, which may indeed lead to a pot of gold for my Beloved and I. We love hanging out together and if we can combine that with a fun and profitable business then life is going to become even more abundant than it already is. This picture of the Rainbow Gnome will give you an idea of what I am talking about! The album of poems entitled “Tales of the Rainbow Gnome” will be available soon as well so get ready for everything rainbow coming to a market near you. And as always, there’s more. But that will do for now, I will keep you posted on the exciting new developments.

pot of gold rainbow

Sitting With The Discomfort, Being Still.

The ObserverI am feeling rather a lot of anxiety tonight, it is interesting to watch the knot of tension without investing any emotional weight to that tangle. And challenging, the temptation to interpret such sensations as doom and gloom is quite seductive, after all anything that feels that heavy must mean bad things. So I am watching it and doing my best to let it be, the less fuel I add the sooner this feeling can pass away. Impermanence, everything is always arising and then passing away. As a matter of fact I saw a client today and spoke of the way in which we add anguish to difficulties we are experiencing. It is how we perceive our circumstances that determines how much pain we might feel, or whether we have a sense of hope. It’s easy to think that what’s happening to you is making you feel a certain way but there is always a choice.


And so I tell myself as I do my best to stay true to what is best for my Beloved and I, even as I watch the fear dancing away in my belly. I am home alone tonight and even that feels right and proper, much as I am delighted to spend most of my time with my darling. Being on my own means there is no easy distraction from the uneasy sensation and in the end I have to sit with it. It sounds simple doesn’t it but the doing of it may be harder than you might imagine, it takes a certain amount of focus and faith in the process. And it’s a process that I trust, one that my Beloved spoke about in an essay that he sent to me when we were courting by email. Oh he knew how to seduce a woman, well the kind of woman that I am which is the bit that counts, one who is dedicated to exploring inner realms.

ayahuasca image 2

Sometimes the alternative realms can seem cool and groovy and fun, full of bliss and joy! But don’t underestimate the power of being able to sit fairly still with really uncomfortable feeling churning away in your belly. You will enjoy the ecstatic blissful bits even more when you have cleared away whatever is available for removal or transformation. It may not sound sexy but it is a part of a transformative kind of lifestyle that does lead to deeper happiness and contentment. I am starting to feel the end of this particular wave, so now if I can just stop eating sugar by the handful there may be hope for me yet! From the woman who remembers to breathe and to love and who is planning to move into the next chapter with ease and no fuss!

kerry in the kitchen SM