Tag Archives: sorrow

Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark.

When we talk about stuff coming up, most people automatically assume that something negative or difficult is responsible for the triggering. But that isn’t always the case, sometimes you can have experiences that are blissful and ecstatic that bring up uncomfortable feelings. My deep connection with Mother Earth that I spoke of in my last post is an example of this, although the stuff that came up was like light butterflies zooming around in my belly, and the feeling that eventually came up was a gentle sorrow.

butterfliesmulti

I am in a period of great clarity having shifted an enormous amount of stuff over the last ten months, so what is coming up for me at the moment when it does happen is pretty easy to deal with. But that isn’t always the case, and it can make people resistant to the process of moving into their fullness however they may be approaching it. On some level they are aware that discomfort could arise and that brings up the resistance to letting go of the old patterns of behaviour.

I am reminded of that wonderful quote from Marianne Williamson:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”

I gave a sound and body healing session to a friend yesterday, and that’s what got me thinking about this subject matter. It was beautiful and flowed very organically, the words that came out of my mouth, my movements and sounds, all pure channeling. I was very much in my fullness and it was a wonderful experience for her and for me. She stayed on for a cuppa and as we talked I gradually began to feel rather strange inside my body, a little bit nauseous and disconnected from myself and the world around me. It wasn’t very comfortable at all, but after she’d gone I did a short meditation that brought peace into my body, as I let go of the swirling energies, coming back into balance again.

sunclouds

So don’t let potential darkness stop you from stepping into the spot light and showing off all your gifts and talents to the world, without the dark how would we know what light was? I speak with the knowledge of someone who has spent most of her life hiding her light under a bushel, and I know how hard it is to come out. If I can do it anyone can………………..what is it that you really want to do, what is your passion, your heart song……….follow it to your bliss, and don’t be afraid of the dark!

Which reminds me of a beautiful song, here is “You’ll never walk alone” from the musical “Carousel”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6V9EbnNx6U

 

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The Movie Inside.

A few posts ago I told the story of how I shifted some deep feelings that had been triggered in my yoga class (Goodbye Sweetheart: 21 Aug 2013), it was on this occasion a fairly quick process. This has not always been the case for me and even now I come up against resistance to letting go of my stuff, it isn’t the brick wall that it used to be but it can still be a challenge to move through. With the sorrow that I described that was in my heart, I did notice that there was a part of me that wanted to hold on to that feeling.

Akhundova Samra: A photographer who captures spiritual experiences with her art. http://samraakhundova.wix.com/samra-art-design

Akhundova Samra: A photographer who captures spiritual experiences with her art. http://samraakhundova.wix.com/samra-art-design

When dealing with unexpressed emotions from the past it is sometimes necessary to wallow a bit in that sea of grief or whatever it is that is coming up for you. Give the feeling its full expression and then let it go, that’s the theory but in practice it isn’t always quite so easy. I’ve known people who work on themselves constantly who become addicted to the process of bringing the feelings up but can never seem to actually release them. It’s as if these feelings and the story that they are attached to is so much a part of who they are, on some level they fear that by letting go they will lose their identity.

So the actual letting go part, how do you do it? As a kinesthetic person I feel it in my body, bring my awareness to wherever it is in my body, usually in the belly or the heart. Then I might breathe or tone into that part of my body, or I might use a visualisation as I did with the sorrow, seeing it as a mist and putting it into a sparkling bottle. Your imagination is an important tool in any kind of inner work, a key ingredient for creating change, Einstein said:

“Your imagination is a preview of life’s coming attractions.”

Albert Einstein.

Albert Einstein.

You do need to be committed (not to an asylum!) and to be prepared to give yourself focused time to drop into the parts of you that lie beneath the surface. I found it easier to create the time for that kind of thing after giving up television which I pretty much stopped watching twelve years ago. Try shifting your perception of what it is to spend time dropping within, don’t see it as work, it can be lots of fun even as it challenges and confronts. And the clarity and energy and joy that emerges the more that you heal that which is incomplete, the ecstasy of feeling whole and connected to all things, it’s better than any tv show I ever saw.

Goodbye Sweetheart.

My yoga class today took me very, very deeply into myself, and by the time I reached savasana at the end I was experiencing a huge shift of energy that was focused on my heart. It felt like sorrow, such sadness and I am not quite sure where I went, I know it took me a long time to come back into myself. I went into town and did the things that I had to do, but only part of me was present, somehow I managed to choose a birthday card for a friend, actually in that space it probably made the choosing easier, I just let my intuition have complete control!

sorrow

When I finally got the chance to sit with the feelings in my own space the grief in my heart was so intense it was as if my heart was wailing in its sorrow. I used the heartfire gateway meditation (My Fiery Heart: 15 Aug 2013) and I saw the sadness as a grey mist swirling around, there was a blue bottle and I began to encourage the mist to enter into the bottle which was sparkling on the outside. The mist seemed endless but eventually it was all in the bottle which I took into the centre of my being. The mist inside began to sparkle and give off a golden light and then it burst out of the bottle and my heart felt open and expanded and free!

I followed that up with the Daily Activation of Light and the energy has completely shifted, there is a bit of uncertainty in my heart but it is excitement with perhaps just a dash of doubt. That was a very quick process! Oh and I forgot to mention, I toned as the sparkling mist shot out of the bottle, the sound really helped in the transformation from sorrow to joy. In fact it was rather like a champagne bottle being opened which I always associate with celebration.

champagneopening

And now as I sit here the knowing of what the grief is about is coming to me, echoes of loss down the eons and through time and space, a soul mate lost, back then and then here again in this life. Some things are simply not meant to be, and it is time to let go of the sadness over this, for every time I make the space, a new joy comes rushing in.

soulmates

So be it, so be it, so be it…………………….

My Fiery Heart!

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all of the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

Rumi.

heartfire

I would take this thought one step further and say that we ARE LOVE, in the very fabric of our beingness, in the very centre of all that we be. I find myself inspired by one of the HeartFire Gateway offerings and intrigued by information which is new to me. Apparently there are seven layers of muscle around the heart in a spiraling configuration, I have always loved the shape of the spiral and in this case you are following it into the centre of the heart. The memories of our life’s journey are held in those layers around the heart, anything unresolved creates a barrier or veil that impedes the flow of love.

I tried the meditation that was suggested which was to breathe in and out through the heart and to allow the memories to rise up, then collect them in a magical sack to be transformed in the centre of my being. What I felt was deep sorrow, it felt like liquid blue moving very slowly and rather than put it into a bag I allowed it to move into the centre of my heart. As it reached the centre it became golden, bright and glowing, and was transmuted into light, then dissolved into nothingness.

heartfiresea

When I clear stuff I usually experience the energy moving upwards and out my crown chakra, so this was quite different having it move into my centre and be transmuted in that way. I enjoyed the experience very much and will probably do it again, although I think the memories we need to clear are not just in the heart, they can be anywhere in the body. But I can imagine having stirrings in the belly and encouraging the energy to move up into the heart fire at my centre. Isn’t it great that there are so many different ways of doing things, life is a smorgasboard of the most wondrous variety!!