Tag Archives: stuff

Bless Your Triggers: They Will Help You To Grow!

smiley face daisyOnce again I am going back to the past, this time over a year ago to a post I wrote about triggers on February 28 2013, it was a turbulent year in terms of stuff coming up and it helped me to grow and evolve very quickly indeed. The particular trigger who was in my thoughts when I wrote this turned out to be highly manipulative and knew exactly what he was doing, in spite of that I bless him for all the deep trauma he helped me to uncover and to let go of, allowing me to become the happy and fulfilled person I am today! The title was “Point Your Trigger To My Heart”, particularly catchy I thought but only one photo in the whole post so I have added a few, nice to see how I’ve evolved over time.

I’d like to have a bit of a yarn about triggers, not the kind that help you to blow your brains out when attached to a gun, the ones that help you get your stuff moving. They tend to be the people you care about, or hate, the ones that annoy you on a regular basis, and of course when desire is involved stuff tends to come flying up from every which way!

exploding with stuff

The important thing to remember about triggers, is that most of the time the reaction you are experiencing is way out of proportion to what has actually occurred. In fact a lot of the time they have nothing to do with the feelings that are coursing through you, but the temptation to point the finger of blame and to project is very powerful. Not only are you dumping on an innocent, you are missing out on the opportunity to take responsiblity for your own feelings and let go of old patterns that are no longer serving you.

I’m the first to admit that I tend to go a bit unconscious when something nasty is moving through, but it doesn’t take me too long these days to realise what’s going on. If the situation seems to show my unwitting trigger in a bad light, I immediately cease any and all speculation about what was actually going on. After all, if it’s my own stuff coming up, then it’s inside my inner world that I will find any answers. And once I understand what my feelings are connected to, the situation that set it all off generally makes a great deal of sense, and I offer a prayer of gratitude and blessings to the one who has helped me into this space of greater clarity.

Now I’m not excusing bad behaviour here, if someone is rude or unkind or unfair, you have every right to respond in an appropriate fashion. There are people who have to be separated from the rest of the community because they are dangerous. But as Kabir said, “Do what you do with another human being, but never put them out of your heart.” When you harden your heart against another,  you hurt yourself as much as the other person, choose to be in your loving heart and you have instant protection. And the response you make is much more likely to be non-judgemental and appropriate to the situation.

Wherever I ramble it is always my heart that I come back to, in that still space full of love and acceptance, I feel welcomed and held. In these uncertain times when our inner beings are being flung around in the storms within, the heart is our safe refuge, the port that I call home.

lovegun

 

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Free Energy, Free Spirits……..The Truth Shall Set You Free!

Enough of my personal journey for one week, let us consider the world we could be living in if original inventions grew out of an expansive and supportive environment. The ten on the list in the following video are I am sure a fraction of the ingenuity and creativity that humanity is capable of, one hears over and over again of successful cures for cancer that end up being suppressed. They couldn’t possibly all be hoaxes even if some are actually fakes and there are some alternative approaches that are well and truly documented and yet are still refuted by so-called authorities.

http://www.nextworldtv.com/page/22235.html

gucci ad

Exactly what do they want authority over? Our body, mind, spirit and soul is invited to dive into a commercial dream where having all that stuff that you can buy is held up as the path to happiness and joy. I’ve never had much if any of all that stuff and I have spent large parts of my life feeling happy and content, even as I did my best to trigger all the inner stuff that needed to go. So I could be even happier, that was what I noticed on the shamanic healing path, things got better the further I travelled upon it.

shamanwoman

I’m not saying that I know the way, I only know my own path and give enormous gratitude for the obstacles on that road. So perhaps one day we will gaze upon a world with free energy available to all, renewable sources giving power to all our needs as we co-operate and communicate as the interconnected beings that we are. And perhaps on that day I will understand the point of all this suppression of creativity, there must be a reason for existence always knows what it is doing.

May the light of wisdom one day grace planet earth, just as Leonard Cohen hopes that the lights in the land of plenty shine on the truth one day:

It’s Not Mine!

I talk a lot about taking responsibility for what is going on around us, you know, don’t blame the trigger (from “Point The Trigger To My Heart”: 28 Feb 2013), what’s the lesson in this situation for me, that sort of thing. And most of the time it’s absolutely the right thing to do, there’s an awful lot of unneccessary conflict and trouble that comes with people not owning their stuff, and projecting it out into the world. But there are times when it isn’t anything to do with me, I cast around for a reason and can’t find one, but being human I can be a bit unconscious so I persist in trying to discover a meaning to whatever is going on.

lovegun

I was on the crisis phones the other night and getting a lot of intense and heavy going calls, assault, hit and run, children being taken away, so I was coming out and de-briefing with my supervisor quite a lot. She asked me if my theme for the night was reflecting something back to me about my own life at that time but I couldn’t think of how it might be relevant. A bit later on she suggested that it might be a good idea to clear the room I was working in just to see if that made a difference. I was handling the calls well enough but it can get a bit wearing after a while to have intense call after intense call.

space-clearing

So I took her advice and I did a quick clearing of my space, calling on my various guides and doing a bit of toning, it only took a minute. Well the difference from that point was amazing, the whole tone of my shift lightened up, whatever was attracting that intensity had nothing to do with me. I’m reminded of my favourite definition of responsibility, the ability to respond, I was able to respond to the situation with some good advice from my colleague and it didn’t involve me taking ownership of what was going on because it wasn’t mine.

So keep an open mind as you explore the intricacies of being a relational being in various environments, and try not to make assumptions, just when you think you know what’s going on, life will throw you a curve ball!

Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark.

When we talk about stuff coming up, most people automatically assume that something negative or difficult is responsible for the triggering. But that isn’t always the case, sometimes you can have experiences that are blissful and ecstatic that bring up uncomfortable feelings. My deep connection with Mother Earth that I spoke of in my last post is an example of this, although the stuff that came up was like light butterflies zooming around in my belly, and the feeling that eventually came up was a gentle sorrow.

butterfliesmulti

I am in a period of great clarity having shifted an enormous amount of stuff over the last ten months, so what is coming up for me at the moment when it does happen is pretty easy to deal with. But that isn’t always the case, and it can make people resistant to the process of moving into their fullness however they may be approaching it. On some level they are aware that discomfort could arise and that brings up the resistance to letting go of the old patterns of behaviour.

I am reminded of that wonderful quote from Marianne Williamson:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”

I gave a sound and body healing session to a friend yesterday, and that’s what got me thinking about this subject matter. It was beautiful and flowed very organically, the words that came out of my mouth, my movements and sounds, all pure channeling. I was very much in my fullness and it was a wonderful experience for her and for me. She stayed on for a cuppa and as we talked I gradually began to feel rather strange inside my body, a little bit nauseous and disconnected from myself and the world around me. It wasn’t very comfortable at all, but after she’d gone I did a short meditation that brought peace into my body, as I let go of the swirling energies, coming back into balance again.

sunclouds

So don’t let potential darkness stop you from stepping into the spot light and showing off all your gifts and talents to the world, without the dark how would we know what light was? I speak with the knowledge of someone who has spent most of her life hiding her light under a bushel, and I know how hard it is to come out. If I can do it anyone can………………..what is it that you really want to do, what is your passion, your heart song……….follow it to your bliss, and don’t be afraid of the dark!

Which reminds me of a beautiful song, here is “You’ll never walk alone” from the musical “Carousel”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6V9EbnNx6U

 

Opening To The Divine.

So what the hell is attraction anyway, a strong energy felt between two people that draws them together, unmet needs searching for a home where they can feel safe? Or could it be a sense of purpose, of having something important to do in the world with that other person. I would say all of the above and probably a whole lot more that I haven’t mentioned, possibly as many definitions as there are people, we are a complex lot! And of course without all that chemistry we wouldn’t keep having babies, so I guess it is something that is hard-wired into our DNA.

There have been a million songs written about attraction in all its various forms and love usually gets a mention, but do the two things automatically go together? Of course not! When they are both present there is a depth to the feelings that sheer physical magnetism can never really manage, however delicious it might seem in the moment. I am rediscovering the pleasures of attraction as I go through a big transition into my new life, but I have also felt the confusion that can come up. Since I began this particular journey there has been a lot of stuff coming up that harks from my teenage years when my sexuality was trying to flourish in the midst of confusion, despair, and eventually my father’s suicide.

Strong energies do tend to bring up stuff and if you aren’t conscious of the process it can be terribly easy to project what you’re feeling on to the other person. On the other hand, choose a conscious pathway as you relate to the world around you and you can become even clearer as you go along your merry way. That has been my experience over this last week, although the relationship that really stirred things up for me this week was not so much a person, it was Mother Earth.

Now that is a strong energy indeed, I lay on the earth and I merged into her until there was no longer any me, no longer any separation between me and anything else. The energy ripped through newly awakened energetic pathways and it was a wonderful opening, a kind of initiation. To be with the Mother is to experience love on an immense scale and that’s what I want in a relationship, to open to God, Goddess, All That Is…………….

My Relationship Altar.

My Relationship Altar.

So as I enjoy the dance of attraction I will remain mindful of my intention for any potential connection with a man, David Deida puts it very well indeed.

“Find a woman who you can open to God farther than she is opening herself. Find a woman who wants to join you in relationship in that commitment. Then practice together opening each other to God, to infinity. The relationship is a conscious choice, a commitment. It doesn’t just happen.”

From “The Love That Washes Through Patterns,” a talk by David Deida

Here’s a video from a talk by David Deida, love the bit where he talks about a woman wanting to be ravished open to God!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IZrkMZyEWY

My Red Toenails.

You know I think this might be the longest period I have ever experienced with so little stuff coming up to be cleared, I feel an enormous sense of gratitude that all the turmoil of the first six months of this year has paid such a wonderful dividend. Yet when I focus on the emptiness and the clarity I find there is also a faint sense of fear or uncertainty, I’m pretty sure this is the ego, after the wholesale clearing that I’ve been through it is wondering how to define itself. I am even daring to think that some issues might actually be completely cleared, when you’ve been shovelling manure out-of-the-way for as long as I have surely there has to be an end to it at some point!

redtoenails

When I gaze down at my red-painted toe nails I feel a particularly great sense of achievement, there was a time when they were red with blood after I had compulsively ripped them to pieces. Not a pretty image is it, it was something I had no control over for many years but gradually over time it became less and less. Then as we were coming to the end of summer in february this year I realised that I had gone a whole summer without touching my toes at all. I decided to celebrate by having my first ever pedicure, I had the whole shebang, foot soak, scrub and massage and at the end I had these beautiful purple toes.

It might seem a bit trivial but for me it was a huge shift, I don’t know exactly what was associated with that particular habit but it is definitely gone. When I think of what that impulse used to feel like I can feel the tension and desperation that was in there, now there is peace, security and love. All right I will be honest, as I write this I can feel a bit of a stirring in my belly, perhaps focusing on this bit of my past is bringing up any residue that may remain. So perhaps I will play it safe and say, “I’ve cleared that layer of stuff!”

ohmshanti

So be it, so be it, so be it………….shanti, shanti, shanti………peace, peace, peace…..

The Movie Inside.

A few posts ago I told the story of how I shifted some deep feelings that had been triggered in my yoga class (Goodbye Sweetheart: 21 Aug 2013), it was on this occasion a fairly quick process. This has not always been the case for me and even now I come up against resistance to letting go of my stuff, it isn’t the brick wall that it used to be but it can still be a challenge to move through. With the sorrow that I described that was in my heart, I did notice that there was a part of me that wanted to hold on to that feeling.

Akhundova Samra: A photographer who captures spiritual experiences with her art. http://samraakhundova.wix.com/samra-art-design

Akhundova Samra: A photographer who captures spiritual experiences with her art. http://samraakhundova.wix.com/samra-art-design

When dealing with unexpressed emotions from the past it is sometimes necessary to wallow a bit in that sea of grief or whatever it is that is coming up for you. Give the feeling its full expression and then let it go, that’s the theory but in practice it isn’t always quite so easy. I’ve known people who work on themselves constantly who become addicted to the process of bringing the feelings up but can never seem to actually release them. It’s as if these feelings and the story that they are attached to is so much a part of who they are, on some level they fear that by letting go they will lose their identity.

So the actual letting go part, how do you do it? As a kinesthetic person I feel it in my body, bring my awareness to wherever it is in my body, usually in the belly or the heart. Then I might breathe or tone into that part of my body, or I might use a visualisation as I did with the sorrow, seeing it as a mist and putting it into a sparkling bottle. Your imagination is an important tool in any kind of inner work, a key ingredient for creating change, Einstein said:

“Your imagination is a preview of life’s coming attractions.”

Albert Einstein.

Albert Einstein.

You do need to be committed (not to an asylum!) and to be prepared to give yourself focused time to drop into the parts of you that lie beneath the surface. I found it easier to create the time for that kind of thing after giving up television which I pretty much stopped watching twelve years ago. Try shifting your perception of what it is to spend time dropping within, don’t see it as work, it can be lots of fun even as it challenges and confronts. And the clarity and energy and joy that emerges the more that you heal that which is incomplete, the ecstasy of feeling whole and connected to all things, it’s better than any tv show I ever saw.