Tag Archives: surrender

Surrendering To The Flow Of Synchronicity.

Posted on July 1, 2015 | Leave a comment

Passionate-embraceMy Beloved emerged with birthing pains as I reached deep into myself and found the Mother in me with roots deep in the ground. So connected to the earth I was able to weather the storm and hold the space until he was safely out of that dangerous threshold between life and death. You do not always have to die in order to discover your deepest fears, call upon the Gods and they will answer you but it may not always be in the way that you might expect.

godgoddesstree

I have found my strength in the journey of trust that my Beloved and I have walked hand in hand, it is beginning to go deeper yet. The more that you trust the more that your life will flow along the course of the intention that you have set. The intention is important, to have a vision of what you are creating held before you in some way, shape or form. Of course the flow of synchronicity may go through what seem like ups and downs but it is always heading towards the best possible result.

Big Rainbow

The constant sea of change is in full flow and there is still a great deal of uncertainty but a safe port has been found and the port, no the ports in the storm have been lovely! Confused? Well so am I, feel free to read over the last few posts if you would like to catch up on the shifting sands of my recent existence. Lots of reasons to be very grateful at the amazing life I get to lead and time to go to bed so I can step into a brand new chapter tomorrow!

See you in the dawn light of that new day my friends, hooray!

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The Dance Is The Balancing Act Of Life!

Posted on March 4, 2015 | Leave a comment
Mother Nature's Balancing Act!

Mother Nature’s Balancing Act!

Things move afoot and the dance is to surrender to the wave of life force energy even when there is pain. There are lessons to be learned in surrendering to what is, even as you may be aware of positive changes that may help you navigate your journey.  It’s a balancing act but if you remain open to the wonder and joy of life then you find you are much more open to miraculous possibility. Here am I feeling somewhat sorry for myself as my shoulder flares up yet again, possibly even worse this time! Not fun but I do try to surrender and lo and behold my landlady gives me a lesson in binding myself with yoga straps and helping my shoulder no end.

Mine is across the top of the chest but you get the idea!

Mine is across the top of the chest but you get the idea!

The dance has been much upon my mind and even as I may retreat a little as I take good care of my sore bits, it is still swirling around. Not sure of a venue at this very moment so feeling the urge to share and a bit frustrated that it may be a while before we manage to do another dance. More than anything I feel that I need to be gentle and kind with me and let myself have a day off, at least until it’s time to go to work tonight!

So I will keep this short and finish by sharing with you my latest favourite bit of music, from a band called Lamb who have an awesome song called ‘Gorecki’ that we have used in more than one playlist. ‘All In Your Hands’ will definitely be making it on to a playlist once we get rolling again in the wave of ecstasy that is created by gathering people and giving them the space to express themselves  in movement to music.

Enjoy the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dWzbG2ie4M

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The Soft Animal Of Your Body.

Posted on October 26, 2014 | Leave a comment

Melting into a soft warm flow of loving creative energy, feeling the interconnectedness of all people, all things. There is a way of surrendering into the moment that will serve one very well indeed, whether that moment be perceived as happy or sad. Clearing the shadows away with more and more an ecstatic glow, challenges lead to growth and being seen in all my glory!

Movement is the melt in the glow of radiant hearts and candles, energy moving through its paces and clearing the pathways that life desires to lift in joy and inspiration. Until you may even feel as if you are floating upon the earth rather than stepping on it, and yet you can always feel the Mother’s heartbeat.

mother earth

Much of this flow of consciousness is informed by my experience of facilitating an ecstatic dance with the theme being: The Divine Dance Between The Masculine And The Feminine. I can feel that there will be more to say on this subject but if you are intrigued you will have to wait until Wednesday to hear more. The stew needs to simmer some more and I am tired and needing to take care of myself on a supremely busy day!

This poem feels like me in this moment!

Wild Geese

 
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
 
from Dream Work by Mary Oliver
published by Atlantic Monthly Press
© Mary Oliver

 

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Trust And Surrender Yet Again!

Posted on August 13, 2014 | Leave a comment

sick_in_bedI have been unwell and a bit tired and so decided to look back at what I wrote a year ago, surprise, surprise to discover that I was sick then too! It’s a good reminder for me as I am not a terribly good patient for all the good advice I sometimes hand out, must trust that the body is doing whatever it feels is necessary for my ultimate health and well-being. And my intuition was working well too, I knew there was a big change coming up and I did hope it might be my Beloved, and it was! What a lucky woman am I!

God Goddess

Okay, so in the end I’ve had to surrender to being sick, managed to get through work and play on the weekend, and then monday morning was spent in bed instead of yoga. That night I started losing my voice which means missing a shift on the crisis phones, guess it’s time to rest and just allow my body to release whatever it needs to. There is a kind of relief in that feeling, trust is often a bit tricky, but one thing I do absolutely trust in is my body’s wisdom.

body-of-light

I did go out last night for what’s known in my local club as a bunya meal, if you are in the community exchange system you can do that, but only on a monday night which is when they have the blackboard with 15 minute spots for musos. Nice not to have to cook and very nurturing to connect with my community, old friends and some newer ones, I even managed a bit of a dance. But before the music was over my voice was failing and that more than anything signalled that it was time to wend my weary way home, luckily only a 2 minute drive.

stillness2

The message from my body is clear, rest, rest and more rest! I have also not been so good at following my own advice and intentions, so this evening I will do some meditation and bring my focus to raising my vibration. Probably the Telos Daily Activation of Light Meditation followed by some sitting meditation, with no voice I won’t be doing any toning that’s for sure! In that quiet space I will ask if there is anything I need to know at the moment. I have a sense of something opening up for me but I’m not sure exactly what it may be, I feel that my settling in one place may be soon but not sure about that either.

Not sure about much am I, that’s why I will ask for guidance, and if I don’t need to know then I will do my best to surrender to the uncertainty. Being ok with not knowing is often the hardest thing of all, and yet if you can do it, it’s also a blessed relief.

Found a lovely guided meditation to share with you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrgGouSUUPc

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The Howling Winds Of Winter.

Posted on June 27, 2014 | Leave a comment

Horses at the waterhole.It’s transition time for me again as my Beloved and I are coming to the end of our idyllic house sit in the bush, knowing that we will be gone soon sharpens my appreciation of the beauty we are surrounded by here. I will miss the wallabies and the birds and the horses, although I won’t miss having to feed them every morning at 8am! Once again I have another piece of the puzzle that is making up the picture of where I will eventually settle, being in the bush seems like an essential part of that.

wild wind

As I sit here writing the wind is howling outside and winter has finally closed her cold fist over the landscape, moving back into town into a brick house might not be such a bad idea after all! I spoke in my last post about the immediacy of nature that we experience here in Australia, the wind is practically yelling and it is a little bit unsettling to say the least. I have learned to like winter but at this moment I’m longing for that summer warmth to return, makes me a typical human being, always wanting what we don’t have.

fireplace

So it’s time to focus on what’s good about cold weather, sitting in front of a roaring fire and snuggling with my Beloved would probably head my list.Two hot water bottles in bed also used to be a winter essential but now I have a human hot water bottle, nothing like cuddling up with a fiery Leo to raise the temperature! Hearty soups with yummy gluten-free toast dripping with organic butter, woolen hats and gloves, and of course sexy long boots make the season much more fun. And finally simply surrendering to the fact that its bloody cold and there ain’t a damn thing I can do about it!

 

 

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This Crazy Delicious Place Of Delight!

Posted on April 2, 2014 | Leave a comment
Dressing up as an elf can also be great therapy! Yes that's me, photo by Steve Swayne.

Dressing up as an elf can also be great therapy! Yes that’s me, photo by Steve Swayne.

Hello dear Readers, what is life holding for you in this very moment? Is there a thought or a dream that’s been wandering around in your inner being that wants to be expressed in some way? That’s a bit like the writing process for me, this blog is as much about my own therapy as it is about you gorgeous people out there.

There is a lot going on in my life at the moment, not the least of which is my going from being on my own to being with my soul mate. That journey brings its own challenges, it also brings incredible joy and the deepest connection, it isn’t the only way to get there but it certainly is fun! I have been noticing in myself an urge to immerse myself completely in my relationship, the desire to be in that ecstatic loving space all the time. There is a potential danger in this oh so natural process, at least it has been for me, it is so easy to lose myself in the ocean of love.

ocean of love

And this is relationship which is a spiritual practice that I am engaging in now so how much more the temptation to drown in that crazy, delicious place of delight. The funny thing is that the same thing ultimately saves me from tipping over the edge, it’s much harder to lose me these days, I keep finding deeper and deeper layers of who I really am. When you reach a certain point there is no going back, and why would you want to?

And I do let go of who I think I am  as I shift into that state of oneness and surrender, but I’m not really losing myself these days, its more like letting go of control. Or maybe you could compare it to the ability of a shaman to move in and out of altered states of consciousness, after all I used to be a shamanic apprentice! Whatever you call it, its nice to have the opportunity to navigate the paths to ecstasy, even when it is shadow, as I release layers of old stuff I become more available to the ecstatic.

Faeries Dancing

Until further notice, celebrate everything! Saint Germain through Azena Ramanda.

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The Terror Lives Again In Order To Let Go.

Posted on March 7, 2014 | 4 comments

medicine circle childrenAs you read this I am already on my journey as I sit in the medicine circle and go deeper and deeper, surrendering to my intention to explore the terror that has been coming up for me, and seeking insight for the physical issues that I am sure are connected. I may not find anything that I will be able to convey to you in words that would make any sense, but I will know in my body, what the next steps in the course of my healing shall be.

Actually I already know what one of the next steps will be, another therapy session known sometimes as body based psychotherapy, I’ve just had one and even more seems to be coming up. And it was even more intense this time, I knew it was just energy and that it would pass but I struggled to separate myself from the terror which was overwhelming. When another session was suggested I felt enormous reluctance, a sure sign post that this is the direction that will help to uncover and release whatever is ready to go.

terror

I cannot begin to describe what the terror feels like, I think I now have a little bit of insight into how it is for those who suffer with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The last time it happened there were two parts of me, one was observing and the other lost in the terror, try as I might I couldn’t fully separate from the panic but at least there was an awareness that it was just energy, that I was perfectly safe with my lover. He was holding space for me and letting me be where I needed to be while at the same time assuring me that I was safe. I had to have the light on for a while in order to feel safe enough not to totally freak out!

I remind myself that those feelings of terror have been inside me for a very long time and were impacting my well-being even when buried deep in my soul. So when I let them keep moving and truly let go, that part of me gets freed up, I get to be more of who I am, all of me. But sometimes getting to that place can be a bit scary, luckily I have all kinds of loving support, see you on the other side!

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From Purification To Ecstasy: Let The Dance Begin!

Posted on March 2, 2014 | Leave a comment

inner-fireIt’s probably time I completed my burning bladder story, the fire did get put out and I appear to be back in good health after doses of good herbs and powders. Being back in business is wonderful and has helped to spawn, along with David Deida, a couple of posts about the healing qualities of the state of being in love.

That is of course an ongoing tale for me and as I think upon this I realise that Fay Fairytale has not appeared as a separate being for some time. She is more a part of me now and supporting me in creating my vision of the future, the Dream Seed that holds the new chapter which is dawning in brilliant colours.

dream seed dandelion

I guess the various aspects of ourselves, Fay Fairytale, Judge Judy, or Nellie Nobody, just to name a few possibilities, are all a part of who we are. It may be built on early conditioning so there is input from others but the raw material is the stuff that we are made of and when we take responsibility for all those different bits we can let go a little. And a little more, and a bit more……..and then there isn’t any ‘reaction’ to create the attachments that used to shape our creation.

ahalightbulb

This is when you can begin to work in the pure space of invention, bringing through the frequencies that are a part of your gift to existence, the blueprint of your current incarnation and the contract you made. It’s a beautiful thing to know why you are here, not all vision can be converted to words but the feeling in your body will tell you if you are following the path of the heart. And drawings can be a wonderful space to channel through whatever is brewing inside of you, you can do it with specific intention or you can intend to surrender and let the pictures come through you, the intuitive side.

Let the dance begin!

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Let Love Corner You: Surrender The Pain, The Fear……….

Posted on February 26, 2014 | Leave a comment

Twins-in-love“Viewed spiritually, romance is, in its divine essence, a temple space. It is one of God’s laboratories, a mode of spiritual transformation. It is when held this way, a sacred opportunity for souls to jump past the confines of the narrow self, to take quantum leaps forward into new and uncharted emotional possibilities. There love corners us, putting a mirror up to our faces and demanding that we surrender: surrender the hurt, surrender the past, surrender the walls, surrender the blame, surrender the defenses, surrender the limits, surrender the fear……. Love is not a game for sissies.”

Marianne Williamson in the foreword to “Dear Lover: a woman’s guide to men, sex and love’s deepest bliss”, by David Deida, published by Sounds True, Boulder CO, 2005.

david deidaFinally I am reading a David Deida book, I have participated in processes facilitated by others but informed by his work and read countless quotes, but this is the first time I have sat down with one of his books. It belongs in my current house sit so I have two and a half weeks to read it, shouldn’t be so hard and I can share any discoveries with my Beloved. When I watched David Deida on a dvd running a session down in Byron Bay I was not always so thrilled with the way he delivered his message but there was loads of good information coming through. So this is going to be a pleasure!

When I have written about relationship as a spiritual process and been looking for appropriate quotes I’ve often checked out David Deida, not sure if the words are exactly correct but the mantra I loved and heard from my dance teacher was: “Fuck me open to God.” The other statement of his that always stuck with me was “If your relationship isn’t opening you to the divine then what are you doing there?” My few relationships before a ten-year break were each what I needed at the time but none could really be considered in that light, perhaps for the odd moment of ecstasy but I wasn’t any more ready for it than the men I was with.

univeral love twohands

Now I am so it will be interesting to see what Deida has to say about it all in more depth, and it’s my favourite subject matter so will be easier to find time for!

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Tuning Into Your Inner Road Map: Finding Perspective.

Posted on February 9, 2014 | Leave a comment

spiritual energyIn order to clear, things have to get stirred up in the first place, sometimes in ecstatic spaces and sometimes with a fair bit of discomfort. It’s all a part of the process and the more you are able to accept ‘what is’, the less you suffer. Easy to say not always so simple to put into practice, I try to remember to surrender and let the energy keep moving, breathing into it seems to help.

The Inner Neural Workout!

The Inner Neural Workout!

There’s always a lesson too, a map to be read in our cells of emotional, spiritual, mental and physical fields, all holding the stuff of which we are made. Learn to be a reader who can tune in to the finer vibrations, it enriches life in ways beyond imagining as you allow yourself to be there in full.

wildwoman

Being present in all my fullness when there is fear in my belly is pretty intense, it helps to bring the light of awareness into the picture. In that moment I know that however dominating that fear and tension may be, that  it won’t last forever. I think of being in my lover’s arms and melting into that security and it becomes a bit easier to stay with that discomfort in my being.

Getting a bit of perspective can also help if you are ever feeling a bit overwhelmed by what life is throwing at you, when you can see the kind of life that some people live your own problems can seem so much smaller. This video from Carl Sagan’s TV show “Cosmos: A Personal Voyage” certainly puts things in a very sharp perspective, enjoy:

http://www.nextworldtv.com/page/25858.html

blue geen planet

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