A few posts ago I wrote about the theme of inner balance, my thoughts inspired by the Joining Gathering, it was about loving self and thus becoming more open to other kinds of love. (Inner Balance: A Meditation On Joining). Well once you have moved into a more mature way of relating, the place where you are yourself and so are they, you love it all and you see this amazing beauty in another soul. There’s a poem I hear sometimes in medicine circles that says something like, I love you in all your exquisite flaws, and that’s how it is when you connect on a deep level.
A key element in this kind of relationship is clear communication, and that isn’t just about words, we use feelings to communicate, and don’t forget body language too. If there is something going on inside you that doesn’t feel good, don’t be afraid to name it and own it, even though your head may know that it isn’t true, your feelings will keep telling you that things are not right. Sometimes simply voicing something can be enough to shift whatever energetic charge is being triggered, and that can be sound without words, for example toning.
My Beloved and I had been through an overnight ceremony and were taking it easy at home as we recovered from a wonderful but also quite intense experience. At some point in the late afternoon the mood shifted, we were both tired but my Beloved was deeply tired and he began to withdraw into himself. I could feel a difference in him but I was tired and we went through this time of me wanting to talk even though there wasn’t a lot of enthusiasm in the response. Basically we both had a lot of stuff going on and I as a woman wanted to talk and he as a man wanted to go into his cave and do whatever it is that men do in there!
In the end I began to feel cut off from my lover and an energy in my heart was triggered and the specific feeling was disappointment, it felt horrible and I didn’t feel like I could sleep. My beloved was exhausted as well as withdrawn and when I told him what I could feel he really didn’t have the energy to deal with it. I eventually got out of bed and went and built up the fire, watching a fire burn is rather therapeutic, then curled up in front of the fire and fell asleep there.
The next morning my dear one came out with surprise wondering where on earth I was, we went back to bed and talked about what had been going on for each of us the previous evening. We took responsibility for our own stuff, I knew perfectly well the feelings in my body came from some other time before we’d even met. And he realised that he would probably have been better off just going off on his own, or even to bed much earlier. We do practice clear communication most of the time but we are also human and the last time I looked I wasn’t perfect!