Tag Archives: trigger

Openess And Honesty: Be Yourself And Be Mindful.

Be Yourself, everyone else is taken! Oscar Wilde. Photo by Ulli Hansen.

Be Yourself, everyone else is taken! Oscar Wilde. Photo by Ulli Hansen.

A few posts ago I wrote about the theme of inner balance, my thoughts inspired by the Joining Gathering, it was about loving self and thus becoming more open to other kinds of love. (Inner Balance: A Meditation On Joining). Well once you have moved into a more mature way of relating, the place where you are yourself and so are they, you love it all and you see this amazing beauty in another soul. There’s a poem I hear sometimes in medicine circles that says something like, I love you in all your exquisite flaws, and that’s how it is when you connect on a deep level.

Passionate-embrace

A key element in this kind of relationship is clear communication, and that isn’t just about words, we use feelings to communicate, and don’t forget body language too. If there is something going on inside you that doesn’t feel good, don’t be afraid to name it and own it, even though your head may know that it isn’t true, your feelings will keep telling you that things are not right. Sometimes simply voicing something can be enough to shift whatever energetic charge is being triggered, and that can be sound without words, for example toning.

My Beloved and I had been through an overnight ceremony and were taking it easy at home as we recovered from a wonderful but also quite intense experience. At some point in the late afternoon the mood shifted, we were both tired but my Beloved was deeply tired and he began to withdraw into himself. I could feel a difference in him but I was tired and we went through this time of me wanting to talk even though there wasn’t a lot of enthusiasm in the response. Basically we both had a lot of stuff going on and I as a woman wanted to talk and he as a man wanted to go into his cave and do whatever it is that men do in there!

Men are from mars

In the end I began to feel cut off from my lover and an energy in my heart was triggered and the specific feeling was disappointment, it felt horrible and I didn’t feel like I could sleep. My beloved was exhausted as well as withdrawn and when I told him what I could feel he really didn’t have the energy to deal with it. I eventually got out of bed and went and built up the fire, watching a fire burn is rather therapeutic, then curled up in front of the fire and fell asleep there.

The next morning my dear one came out with surprise wondering where on earth I was, we went back to bed and talked about what had been going on for each of us the previous evening. We took responsibility for our own stuff, I knew perfectly well the feelings in my body came from some other time before we’d even met. And he realised that he would probably have been better off just going off on his own, or even to bed much earlier. We do practice clear communication most of the time but we are also human and the last time I looked I wasn’t perfect!

Advertisements

Bless Your Triggers: They Will Help You To Grow!

smiley face daisyOnce again I am going back to the past, this time over a year ago to a post I wrote about triggers on February 28 2013, it was a turbulent year in terms of stuff coming up and it helped me to grow and evolve very quickly indeed. The particular trigger who was in my thoughts when I wrote this turned out to be highly manipulative and knew exactly what he was doing, in spite of that I bless him for all the deep trauma he helped me to uncover and to let go of, allowing me to become the happy and fulfilled person I am today! The title was “Point Your Trigger To My Heart”, particularly catchy I thought but only one photo in the whole post so I have added a few, nice to see how I’ve evolved over time.

I’d like to have a bit of a yarn about triggers, not the kind that help you to blow your brains out when attached to a gun, the ones that help you get your stuff moving. They tend to be the people you care about, or hate, the ones that annoy you on a regular basis, and of course when desire is involved stuff tends to come flying up from every which way!

exploding with stuff

The important thing to remember about triggers, is that most of the time the reaction you are experiencing is way out of proportion to what has actually occurred. In fact a lot of the time they have nothing to do with the feelings that are coursing through you, but the temptation to point the finger of blame and to project is very powerful. Not only are you dumping on an innocent, you are missing out on the opportunity to take responsiblity for your own feelings and let go of old patterns that are no longer serving you.

I’m the first to admit that I tend to go a bit unconscious when something nasty is moving through, but it doesn’t take me too long these days to realise what’s going on. If the situation seems to show my unwitting trigger in a bad light, I immediately cease any and all speculation about what was actually going on. After all, if it’s my own stuff coming up, then it’s inside my inner world that I will find any answers. And once I understand what my feelings are connected to, the situation that set it all off generally makes a great deal of sense, and I offer a prayer of gratitude and blessings to the one who has helped me into this space of greater clarity.

Now I’m not excusing bad behaviour here, if someone is rude or unkind or unfair, you have every right to respond in an appropriate fashion. There are people who have to be separated from the rest of the community because they are dangerous. But as Kabir said, “Do what you do with another human being, but never put them out of your heart.” When you harden your heart against another,  you hurt yourself as much as the other person, choose to be in your loving heart and you have instant protection. And the response you make is much more likely to be non-judgemental and appropriate to the situation.

Wherever I ramble it is always my heart that I come back to, in that still space full of love and acceptance, I feel welcomed and held. In these uncertain times when our inner beings are being flung around in the storms within, the heart is our safe refuge, the port that I call home.

lovegun

 

50 Is The New Evergreen: Be Yourself!

50th-birthday

Today I am fifty! Well actually the truth is I’m not there yet at the time of this writing, but it will come out on the day and I have been contemplating the meaning of this cycle for myself for some time now. Some people see life in seven-year cycles, that makes seven sevens is forty-nine, all those sevens have a very mystical feel to them. So my final year of a big cycle was very challenging at times but as I drew towards the end of the year I began to see the harvest of so much of what I have sown over the last twelve years.

Gotta love those triggers!

Gotta love those triggers!

For a lot of that year I was writing a post every day so I actually have a wonderful record of a time of great transformation, very painful sometimes but each trigger is blessed for what it helped me to release. I finally finished the job of re-building my self-esteem in this period of time and I feel I can safely say that I LOVE who I am even when I stuff things up! And a mistake is often enough one of those triggers that helps to bring up whatever is in need of acknowledgement and release, feel the feeling and then let it go.

twohearts

I am firmly in the new chapter of my life even as tendrils from the old one reach out to me, they can help me to know what there is that does not resonate with WHO I REALLY AM. My relationship is my main spiritual practice at the moment which is as much fun as I always imagined it would be, not without challenges  but with both of us on the same page I always feel very supported.

And younger every day, there is more and more of me  available to play with, so no wonder everything starts to glow. Thank you Great Spirit,  Gaia, St Germain……Demeter, Lilith and the Arch Angel Michael, deep gratitude for being alive and being embodied, and having the opportunity to play a part at this important time for the planet. Lets make it  a good time, remember there is always a choice!

So be it, so be it, so be it………….Love and blissings.

Imagine Your Highest Good: Grow Good Intention!

SupernovaAs you can probably tell I’m pretty damn happy at the moment, does that then imply an uninterrupted flow of uncomplicated simple happiness, with no light or shade anywhere, just feelings of luminous joy? For some of the time that’s a big YES, but life continues to move along and unless you’ve achieved full enlightenment then you will probably still get triggered sometimes. Not just by that which you perceive as negative but also by the moments of transcendent joy, nothing like a powerful explosion of light to show up and shake out any lingering darkness upon the soul.

It is somehow a bit more disconcerting to have those old butterflies mingling in my belly when I am so very aware of how truly amazing my life is, I mean why would I be doubtful when it is obvious that I am a very powerful manifestor indeed! Ok so I took ten years to sort my old patterns out so that I could finally attract a very different kind of relationship into my life but hey, some people never get there, and I learned lots of cool things along the way.

dancing with butterflies

So I breathe into the stirrings down below and acknowledge any feelings associated with the movement of energy, seems to be a lot of insecurities that I somehow am not good enough, you would think I might have emptied that particular can of worms by now! Oh well, stay with the feeling and it will move on at some stage, leaving you lighter and more able to respond to life in the moment, the gift of the present that is always with us.

sunclouds

And who knows what the future may hold for us, might as well be here for the moment that is NOW, what you do then will determine the shape of what you are moving into anyway. So imagine your highest good and happiness, no holds barred, let your creativity shine a light into the darkest corners of self that you may shed anything that is no longer a part of the balance of things. Grow good intentions and love well, be a food forest for the depths of soul, yours and the whole planet, the entire cosmos, the fullness of creation itself.

Namaste.

It’s Christmas, Ask For Whatever You Want!

The Dumbbell Nebula, also known as Messier 27, pumps out infrared light in this image from NASA's Spitzer Space Telescope.
The Dumbbell Nebula, also known as Messier 27, pumps out infrared light in this image from NASA’s Spitzer Space Telescope.

It feels like its time to say thank you, I have a lot of things to be thankful for and they include some stuff that is quite uncomfortable in the moment, but that takes you into deeper places. Go deep and rest in the dark womb of creation, a space where you can let go of it all, let go and be nothing and nobody……….everything and no thing.

I am grateful for every trigger, for every little thing that prodded and encouraged me to keep the energy moving, even the actions that were not in the spirit of integrity, have brought me to this place. So biggest thanks to the players on my particular stage who have been such able assistants in producing the right script to help me to move beyond such structure, into a dance of spirit that spirals me up into the light, an improvised jig with the whole cosmos!
lovegun
Do thank your inner critics and helpers too, they have been on your case or cheering you on for most of your life, they all have lessons to teach, did you find your class room? Don’t worry its an open invitation to this particular university but the situation continues to evolve and divine timing is getting pretty damn close, time to be doing your job whatever it might be.
If you are not sure what that is for you, then begin with gratitude every day, over time you may begin to notice which things give you energy and excitement, follow that passion and see where it takes you.
Explore what you would like to have in your life in an ideal world and make it REAL……………….let Spirit know what you want for Christmas, and who knows, you just might get it!
Another inspirational piece from Louie Schwartzberg, the subject is gratitude, enjoy………peace and mung beans.

The Right Kind Of Crazy!

Be careful what you ask for……..for the Gods may give it to you, how many times have you heard that phrase, one could also say be careful of your thoughts and language, because your brain will take it as the truth. When you consider some of the internal dialoguing that goes on for many of us, the logical outcome is a life that has nothing to do with what we really want in our lives. I’ve written on this subject before when I talked about manifesting a relationship in my life, that was “Seducing the Frontal Lobe” on April 9 2013.

I am now going to humbly admit that I didn’t do what I said I would, if you were reading my posts in the time following you will be aware that I was being triggered in HUGE ways and so was on a bit of an emotional roller coaster. Although in a way I was working on my stuff around relationship, just not in the context of being ‘in’ a partnership, the upshot of it all is that a lot of what was in the way of me allowing myself to receive love was cleared away in that process.

You can read about how re-wiring the brain can create an illness like Bulimia by checking out Shaye’s recovery website, this basic principle can be applied to the creation of any habits, good or bad.

But as far as changing the neural pathways by fooling the brain into thinking that what I want in my life is actually here now, that I didn’t do. To briefly recap, the brain will believe anything that you can imagine strongly enough, if you look at an object a particular part of the brain will fire up, imagine looking at the same object and that part of your brain will light up just as if it was actually there. Joe Dispenza talks about this in “Evolve Your Brain” and he reckons you need to spend an hour a day creating your vision, using all your senses.

I’m currently doing a course that is based on the same information, it is about going into an Alpha brain state and then using visualisation techniques to create a picture of what it is that you want. Of course all the theory in the world is worth nothing if you don’t do something with it, that’s the point I find myself at in this moment. I need very much to make certain changes in my life if I am to continue as a person on this planet and I need to change the way I do things if I want to get a different result. You might remember my favourite definition of insanity, doing things the same way and expecting a different outcome.

crazy-cartoon

Let’s hope I’m the right kind of crazy in this case! More on this subject in my next post, love to you all until then!!

Here is an interview with Dr Joe Dispenza, I spent a day listening to him talk once and he is not only inspiring but also a lovely and very humble man, enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QE8yP5PPdHU

It’s Not Mine!

I talk a lot about taking responsibility for what is going on around us, you know, don’t blame the trigger (from “Point The Trigger To My Heart”: 28 Feb 2013), what’s the lesson in this situation for me, that sort of thing. And most of the time it’s absolutely the right thing to do, there’s an awful lot of unneccessary conflict and trouble that comes with people not owning their stuff, and projecting it out into the world. But there are times when it isn’t anything to do with me, I cast around for a reason and can’t find one, but being human I can be a bit unconscious so I persist in trying to discover a meaning to whatever is going on.

lovegun

I was on the crisis phones the other night and getting a lot of intense and heavy going calls, assault, hit and run, children being taken away, so I was coming out and de-briefing with my supervisor quite a lot. She asked me if my theme for the night was reflecting something back to me about my own life at that time but I couldn’t think of how it might be relevant. A bit later on she suggested that it might be a good idea to clear the room I was working in just to see if that made a difference. I was handling the calls well enough but it can get a bit wearing after a while to have intense call after intense call.

space-clearing

So I took her advice and I did a quick clearing of my space, calling on my various guides and doing a bit of toning, it only took a minute. Well the difference from that point was amazing, the whole tone of my shift lightened up, whatever was attracting that intensity had nothing to do with me. I’m reminded of my favourite definition of responsibility, the ability to respond, I was able to respond to the situation with some good advice from my colleague and it didn’t involve me taking ownership of what was going on because it wasn’t mine.

So keep an open mind as you explore the intricacies of being a relational being in various environments, and try not to make assumptions, just when you think you know what’s going on, life will throw you a curve ball!