Tag Archives: trust

I Laughed So Hard I Wet Myself!

bumpy roadI almost decided to take a holiday on this post but my over conscientious  and obsessive nature won’t let me let you down. So here I am trying to make sense as I am being driven along a sometimes bumpy road by my Beloved, as we embark on day three of some much-needed time off. Ahhhh………..at last the freeway is offering a smoother passage………so what do I have to share with you today?

Well the first thing that comes to mind s that laughter is the best medicine of all, helpless laughter over the silliest things and I feel like a child. A child in the best sense of the word, present and open to whatever life may bring to me and full of wonder and joy at the gifts that I already enjoy in such bountiful helpings. Laughing so hard I actually pee myself, embarrassing but true, you see how much trust I’ve developed in life! Well, would you admit to the world that you wet your pants!!

Joy-and-Happiness

My heart, mind and soul feel incredibly open as I continue to move into this amazing new chapter of my life, my spirit dances and my intuition sings. The mind does its best to keep up with the larger me but this morning its feeling a little overwhelmed and struggling to be coherent, much less entertaining or profound.

AN INTERMISSION WHILE WE WALK THE CITY STREETS SEEKING A GOWN TO ADORN GALADRIEL FOR MY FABULOUS 50TH BIRTHDAY PARTY, FOR THE UNINITIATED THAT’S A LORD OF THE RINGS THING. GALADRIEL IS RATHER SERIOUS IN THE FILM SO I’M GOING TO BE HER TEENAGE WILD CHILD SELF, THE PERIOD IN HER LIFE WHEN THE FIRE IN HER BELLY MATCHED THE HAIR ON HER HEAD!

Here's Galadriel being all serious!

Here’s Galadriel being all serious!

I’m back and writing as we drive along, this is the first time I’ve walked city streets for a whole year and it was a tad overwhelming. Since moving to the country I am much more sensitive, it’s less about all the buildings and cars and traffic lights and more to do with the thronging energies of people and devices milling about in a sea of chaos.

If you want to develop your sensitivity and still live in an urban environment then I suggest you consider carefully what kinds of practices might support you in remaining open without becoming overcome by the sheer  volume of energetic traffic. Meditation is always helpful and there are as many ways of doing it as there are people. Any activity where you are firmly ensconced in your heart will give you protection and help you to perceive the beauty of life in whatever environment you are in.

The analogy for that state of consciousness that the American Indians call “Beauty’s Way”, is being in love. It’s a pretty nice way of going there but luckily it isn’t the only doorway, I’m driving the Love Bug quite blissfully at the moment but it is by no means the first time that I’ve travelled that particular inner landscape. I’ve found it through friendships, dance, yoga and meditation, I always joke about toning being my favourite way of getting ‘bent’, I’m sure there are endorphins that get triggered when we are doing things that we love that bring us into openness and joy.

Can you imagine a world full of open-hearted, joyful folk, all expressing their uniqueness in the world and creating a global community of co-operation and mutual care? I can, and the more of us that hold this vision in our heart space, the more likely we are to get there!

Shanti, shanti, shanti………peace, peace, peace.

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The Present Is A Gift So Be Here Now.

From "Be Here Now" by Ram Dass.

From “Be Here Now” by Ram Dass.

We live in tumultuous times and my chosen path is to navigate through shifting sands, while remaining fairly harmonious and doing the entire thing with a certain amount of ease and grace. Or  at least that’s the plan, I try not to get too far ahead with the details of what I’m creating, by the time I get there details will have quite likely changed, sometimes drastically so. It is the closest I can be to living in the moment, in that space a lot of the time but stuff does still get triggered, which will often bring up the past, and also fears around the future.

Am I house sitting, renting or living with my mother, the how, why and when of all this possibility continues to be perfectly fluid, I hold a piece of potential in my hand and look to the future. I can see how it might shape that landscape but in the next moment it might change completely. So I do my best to give myself to the moment that I am in, and what I find is that the present moment is usually pretty good, nothing to stress about.

I guess I’m challenging the part of me that worries about survival, roof over the head and food on the table kind of thing, we do live in uncertain times and faith is essential in order to be a calm space amidst the chaos that is modern life. The thing is I have never been in the position of not having somewhere to live, I’ve been living in some very nice places with my house sitting. And the food I eat is largely organic, and with very little in the way of processed products, as much a whole food diet as I can manage while listening to the body’s changing needs.

I am feeling a lot more trusting though, everybody is entitled to being a bit shaky from time to time, it’s called being a part of the human race! Most of the time I am very happy on my path, often intensely so, seems that the struggle has finally been let go of, as the  future opens up pregnant with possibilities.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

So be it, so be it, so be it……………

Summer Solstice Heat: Rebirth Into Love.

fall_harvestAs I began to seek inspiration for my Solstice Toning Circle I noticed a feeling of familiarity that was arising within me at the themes and symbols associated with this event. The sun firing up our passions, desires and sensuality, awakening of consciousness, the colours red, yellow and orange, and the celebration of a bountiful harvest!

rawfood

It began with a session I had of Zen Shiatsu and the guidance I received which matched my intuition completely, I’d been attracted to foods I don’t normally eat so much, like potato and bread, gorgeous organic pies with tomato sauce. Comfort food, and food that has a warming effect on the body according to Chinese Medicine, I also hadn’t felt much like salad which is highly unusual for me and that of course is cold for the body.

Seems I was depleted in my spleen and I certainly had no energy that day, I was so low I could have cried, I thanked myself heartily for having the sense to book this session for myself three weeks previously. I’ve followed the guidance and it feels a bit disconcerting to be eating so differently, fears around getting fat come up a bit but it all seems to be staying balanced so far and I have my energy back.

sourceofpassion

Of course being in love also helps the energy levels, you can go with little sleep for a few days buoyed up on the excitement and thrill of being in that space. Which is the other parallel for me in the Solstice themes, after a long period of abstinence I am full of passion and desire as I explore the awakening of consciousness that can come through approaching relationship as a spiritual practice.

I am overflowing with the heat of summer, that matches the heat of my body, my spirit and my soul, my blood burns like hot lava bursting from the rich moist earth, volcanic eruptions and gentle stirrings of trust reborn.

A Rebirth into love……………..ohm shanti, shanti, shanti………….

And just for a bit of summer silliness here is Madness singing “It Must Be Love” from 1981: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmezIIrFQmY

Pleasuring Into Ecstasy: Slow It Down Sweetheart!

PinkOshoFlowerPoemYou know there are some blogs out there that really keep it simple and focus on one big project, like cooking your way through a famous french recipe book over a whole year. And then there’s someone like me, exploring every aspect of consciousness she can send her awareness into, moving fluidly and sometimes for no apparent reason from one project to another, and then back again!

Well I’m back to where I had got to in “Tantric Orgasm For Women” and really enjoying being able to read and find that sometimes an open body and heart is as good as any book. But it is an excellent text-book and very inspiring too, relaxation is the key and I can attest to the value of letting go of tension and generally slowing everything down. So you do need to be able to trust your Beloved, even then you may be holding tensions you are not aware of, so a safe space to be together in is crucial, and that is emotional and spiritual space, not just the physical.

soulmates

The more that you let go, the more you can allow the body to guide the experiential navigation of two energies coming together, you become more sensitive to subtle energy, sensuality is heightened, which can only be a good thing! And anything that you do comes out of a place of non-attachment.

“Action is an overflowing of energy; action is in this moment, a response, unprepared, unrehearsed. The whole existence meets you, confronts you and a response simply comes. The birds are singing and suddenly you start singing-it is not activity. Suddenly it happens. Suddenly you find it is happening, that you have started humming-this is action.”

Osho, Transcribed Teachings, Tantra: The Supreme Understanding: in Diana Richardson: Tantric Orgasm for Women, p 139.

pink-flower-fields

Dark Nights And Bright New Days.

I am in the flow for sure, but what if your flow is a whirlpool spinning you madly as you head towards the rapids with you know not what waiting, maybe a drop into a waterfall. That might be an amazing experience as you fall through, drops of water sparkling with the sunshine beaming through and rainbows glittering, a safe landing into the next pool of life is an exciting journey. Stay in your heart and trust is an important key, one thing at a time even if you have a lot of things to accomplish in a day.

waterfallrainbow

Let there be stillness even in a busy day, find it in yourself if it isn’t in the environment around you and you are unable to make a change. Connect to nature even if it is simply a piece of wood, a flower or perhaps the leaf of a potted plant, if you can get your bare feet in the earth even better. That stillness is always within your being, let the mind relax and beyond the chatter is a great still pool that is never really disturbed, we sometimes lose our connection with it and from this stems a tide of people who feel unfulfilled. Somewhere in their sleeping is the knowledge that there is more at greater depth, but their fear holds them back, they pretend to know but it is naught but a pretty facade once one has seen through it.

stillness2

How would it be to remain without tuning in to that deeper place that our feelings can take us to, if we have the courage to sit with them no matter what they might be. Anger, fear, jealousy and resentment, grief and loss……….who wants to sit with that! But if you do you will begin to go deeper than ever you knew was possible, moving the veil aside so that all potential is revealed, the quantum soup, zero point field. You don’t have to dive in as deeply as I did into a Dark Night of the Soul that felt at times like the very pits of Hades, not fun but ultimately enlightening!

consciouslove

When you have shared time with another soul in those incandescent places where hearts are open and you are honestly questing for more and more life, there is a deeper connection that doesn’t even really need words. To be in a community much like that, well you know I actually live somewhere a bit like that, life here is a blessing in the vibrant and creative life bursting from all sides.

Thank you Mother Earth for your bounty, Father Sky for the sunshine and the air, thank you life, ohm shanti, shanti, shanti……………………

Prosperous Shifting Sands.

Shifting from fear to wonder and riding the storm, short, sharp and intense, but no longer ushering in a dark sky that is wont to bring the clouds that prevent me from seeing my own  bright light. The sense of doom sitting in the pit of my belly a relic of the past that I leave further behind with every breath, trusting that every step that I take is an integral part of the picture that I am painting in inner realms.

Trust, trust…………surrender to what is and move with my own precious flow, plucking the jewels that lie along the way, glittering like stars and offering me such a rich array of bounty. Within the deepest parts of self the sands are shifting, uncertain footing giving the illusion of shaky ground, a sense of falling……………turns to freedom and wings taking flight.

Letting go into the unknown as the heart’s wisdom opens door after door, fractal beauty speaks to my DNA and I AM so excited as creativity unfolds with each release of the force of life. Less and less do I resist, the creeping mist, burns off with morning’s rays, shining like the gleaming gold of treasure buried, of dragon’s hoard.

I am the treasure and I am found, I am here, homeward bound, I am here, sacred pure sound, I am the one receiving the sun, flower is open, time to have fun!

Speaking of dragons, we are about to meet Smaug, for fans of The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, check out this trailer if you haven’t already!

Bilbo - The Hobbit 2 Movie

The Path Of The Heart.

Trusting……….that I am always connected to the source of all things, my heart blazing a path that wends its way through all kinds of landscapes. At times the way may be littered with rocks and pot holes, challenging me to be like water and to flow over and through without losing the essence that I am. Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death……..I shall not falter, indeed I will embrace each ending as it doth present it’s face to me. And in the letting go of unnecessary things my life force will find new channels, the power of love and creativity making a fire that will burn forever.

Image by George Grie: www.neosurrealismart.com

Image by George Grie: http://www.neosurrealismart.com

Beginning always in stillness……….the vast empty space of creation beckons me unto the void, where there is nothing………. and yet all of the potential for manifestation lies in this emptiness. No need to do anything, being unfolds without direction and while I may open to desire, while I may know what I think I want, always shall I surrender to the higher wisdom that knows truth in a way that my ego can never imagine.

Bringing together my desire and the urging of spirit, my inspiration bursts forth and the bars of my prison are melting into joy…….glittering threads of destiny weaving a tapestry that sings a new song, as a fresh day dawns. The need to know is a fetter that shall chain me no more, I trust life, I trust myself, I am whole…………  I will ever be a part of the spirit of God, Goddess, of all that is…….love is an ocean in which I shall swim for evermore, in and out-of-body, ’tis the spirit that goes on eternal, the flame that has no end, and no beginning……….

flameoflove

My gratitude overflows……….and I am at peace.