Tag Archives: underworld

The Underworld.

Fluttering, delicate wings churning my belly into a tightness that coils into itself, as excitement and anticipation coupled with fear, turn into an anxious dread. Knowing that its opposite is simply a thought away, I breathe into that turbulent swirl that turns and turns, creating a vortex of energy that can take me into even greater fear………..or ecstasy. Air, the stuff of life, pours into my waiting lungs, and directed into the pit of doom it carries me deeper and deeper, as I surrender to the downward spiral, making friends with the darkness, letting go into night.

underworld

The relief as I fall into the space of the underworld, that hell on earth that we make for ourselves when the monsters of the depths go unrecognised and unacknowledged, luminescent light becomes possible, as we find eyes that will gaze upon the face, that will take us into a fuller knowledge of the soul beneath the mask. I take my courage in both hands, and I descend like all the mythic characters that have gone before me, to meet the ruler of the shadow, the opposite of light.

three-headed-dog

Meeting each challenge with an open heart, my mind a sword that cleaves through old patterns, my feelings showing the way into balance, I battle the three-headed dog and gain entrance to the center of all that hides from sight. A figure stands before me but I cannot see its face, my shaking hands tear the veil and my eyes are open wide with fright, terror coursing through my veins I look upon the greatest monster of all, ’tis myself.

In that moment consciousness opens into laughter and the absurd nature of life becomes a juice to sweeten the sadness and the grief, the struggle and the pain. If I made all of this then I can unmake it if I choose, no longer a pawn in the world I can wake up if I want to………..or not. The old nightmare is over and I face my demons with a song on my lips and feet that move in a spiral dance that feeds the flow of energy, connected to all things.

enlightenment-and-the-self

I AM the light, I AM the dark, I AM everything and I AM nothing……..I AM THAT I AM and that is all.

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Let The Feelings Flow.

As the cold deepens, the energy of the dark womb draws us within, Demeter is mourning for her daughter and her grief is cold as ice, as cold as the underworld where Persephone has gone. The emptiness contains all that we have pushed aside in busier and brighter times, when distractions are easy to come by, and the shadow merely an interesting shape created by the sun’s rays. But now the trees are bare, and though the sun still shines from deep blue skies,  the pull comes from within, our shadow clamouring for our attention.

Surrender to that call, let go into the stillness that you will find as you descend into your own private version of the underworld. What is it that you cannot own or accept as a part of who you be, what aspects of self have you demonised or judged as being unworthy. That which remains unacknowledged can never be transformed or set free, so let yourself be………….all of who you are, this is the key.

We all of us have parts of ourselves that we don’t like very much, if you try to ignore this truth, if you push it down into the deepest part of your being, it will become even more powerful. It will control you from a place that you may not easily be able to access, the longer this goes on the more layers will gather and the harder it becomes to identify and therefore release. Here is a piece I wrote about how I did this very thing with the guilt I felt over my father’s death when I was 15:

My guilt was a mountain the size of Everest and I buried it as deeply as that mountain is tall.

The guilt festered away in the dungeon of my soul and within a brief few years it had eaten away it all, my self-esteem, my sense of worth, my love of self was gone.

It was in the midst of terrible storms on Australia Day that I realised that I had at last rebuilt my self-esteem, 33 years after burying that which I could not face or acknowledge to myself. To read more about that check out my post “Rebirth” on January 30 2013.

Rebirth

This one act of mine shaped my entire life, I cannot regret it for it has brought me to where I am, but I offer my experience as a lesson hard learned. No matter how painful it may be, allow your  feelings to move through you, express them in the moment and let them go, just keep doing that until you are clear, as long as it takes…………..

Shanti, shanti, shanti…………peace, peace, peace…………

This Land Is Me.

I connect to this land, intention flowing out through my roots and bringing up a sense of belonging. My soul is held and nurtured by this energy, even though I walk in the shadow of the valley of death. Going into the underworld with faith in your heart, knowing that your path is that way, and that you will be all the better for it. Of course it also depends on the choices you make, there’s always a choice and I choose to watch my pain moving when it needs to do so, as opposed to attaching. This place hath held me in such a deep, and such a safe space.

australianbush

I know the feeling now and when the time for roaming is done, I shall find that space and there shall I settle. T’will be a foundation for a fortunate life on the path of spirit, all things will flow from an open heart and a quiet mind. Good to know what will serve you, and good to let go of whatever is no longer serving the highest good of not only yourself, but of all life everywhere. So be it, so be it, so be it……………

I have made such deep connections in this wonderful community but the land never sang through my feet until I came to the fairy cottage and became the Princess in her bower. That energy is helping me to become the Queen, along with the inner space that is opening up and allowing me to access much more of who I am, bringing forth great gifts and treasures for all the world to see. Everything is coming together and the final pieces of the puzzle are very close to turning up now, this connection with the land here being a most important and unexpected, and indeed welcome piece, of the jigsaw of my life!

Aboriginal people have a very different relationship to the land than we generally do in western culture, they see themselves as a part of the country as opposed to ‘owning’ it. This song from “One Night The Moon”, ‘This Land is Mine” shows that difference very clearly, check it out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qok6YM3E1z8