There’s an old paralysis moving through me, it’s a slow energy that can while away hours reading, it feels uncomfortable and manifests as uneasy belly. Now that’s something I haven’t talked about much lately, I’m sure it’s cropped up here and there but I process my world very differently now that I am with my Beloved and the focus tends to be on us rather than me. So when he is away for a few days I sometimes find it difficult to find my place within myself, there are things to be done and I don’t want to do any of them.
In the end all I can do is surrender to the overwhelming nature of this slow energy moving through my body and get things done as best I can. Instead of spreading the tasks out over a longer time I may end up with a busy end of the week to achieve it all. And who is to say that isn’t a perfectly reasonable way of going about the daily tasks of life, the part of me that thinks there is a ‘right’ way of doing everything is still trying to give me a bit of a hard time.
That old paralysing feeling used to prevent me from doing anything once upon a time, I would have trouble even getting out of bed! Now I can choose to see it as a part of me that stops me from going too hard at things, the bit that wants to take life easy. As long as I’m having a good life and no one is being hurt then the details of how it happens are pretty much up to me.
Then life changes suddenly and unexpectedly and my energy for doing kicks in as I centre myself by doing physical tasks. Bringing in washing and organising the compost, finding a spare key for our new flat mate. Change not completely unheralded but was expecting a phone call to arrange the possibility rather than someone simply turning up on the doorstop.
At the end it is all ok, simply a matter of adjusting to the new circumstances and getting on with what is a wonderful life in the Magic Kingdom. And now I am really glad that I spent all that time reading, I had a really good relax for what might be the last time I will have the place to myself. Really looking forward to the return of my Beloved…………… blissings to you all!
The view from my seat.
I look for ways of taking myself out into the world while still doing all the things that need to happen for life to be supported. It’s better right now to be away from home where possible and that is having a rather delightful effect. I’m doing things such as writing this post out in my community, on a bench at the back of the library overlooking the creek at this very moment!
I can hear the kids at the playground and the cars passing through the roundabout on a busy saturday afternoon. My town is a bustling hub and it’s nice to be out of it in a peaceful fairly solitary place, but still in earshot. It’s warm with a touch of coolness in the air, fluffy white clouds in a deep autumn blue sky, perfect weather in fact so I’m truly glad to be out in it.
Life is good and so very worth celebrating anytime really, you can always find something to be grateful for. I’m grateful for where I live and for the gorgeous friends who provide such a wondrous support network, satisfying so many levels of my being. Even so, when I have to be away from my Beloved for as long as four days! Well thank the Goddess for the love that I receive in my community, the stimulation to my mind, heart and soul.
And any discomfort that I may feel from wherever it may come, is only ever temporary. I go from heart and soul brimming over with joy and love to uneasy belly, and then back again. So remembering to breathe and to connect with Mother Earth for grounding, I allow myself to be with whatever feelings are moving and I sigh, as I let go………..into infinity and peace.
Shanti, shanti, shanti………peace, peace, peace.
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Tagged community, fluffy clouds, grounding, heart, joy, love, Mother Earth, nature, peace, soul, support network, uneasy belly
Uneasy belly ended up as gentle anticipation and an intuitive sense of the night ahead without really knowing much of the details, a general shape of a fun flowing evening with dancing included. Then it evolved from the dance to karaoke, I sang Dancing Queen into the microphone and it was heaps of fun, I do love Abba!! My Medicine Woman is delighted that I am having such a lot of fun, I’m being very obeyful, this is the way to be an attractor, I can feel it already and have seen it around me in the number of men I seem to be hanging out with these days.
Have a look at this clip of Dancing Queen, they are so young and so talented and so beautiful!
I am getting comfortable with masculine energy around me but most importantly I am getting so much more chilled in my own skin, whichever part of me needs to be in action will bring the other into right balance. I am very happy being me, I like myself, I do things for me that will nourish and nurture me on every level of my being. Next week I am having my first ever pedicure, a deluxe! Also a massage and I will do at least one of not two of some other classes while my teacher is away, you can never have too much yoga!
Ah life is good, my culinary highlight almost every day is my big green vitamin pill, my green smoothie every morning, can feel the life force going in as I drink it in. Of course I enjoy all the food I eat and I have learned to love feeding others, putting love into the food. When I settle down I want a walk in wardrobe, a good dining table and a big screen tv which gets covered up when not in use. There will be regular dinner parties and movie nights, it will be sooooo much fun!
And of course great music, I live in a bit of a heartland for that sort of thing, so much going on and incredible quality of entertainment, the fundraiser for the Greens was awesome, go the Greens in the next election, we need some integrity out there.
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Tagged Abba, attractor, dancing, flowing, green smoothie, integrity, karaoke, massage, medicine woman, music, The Greens., uneasy belly, yoga
Seems like meditation is my theme at this moment, sitting, lying, walking and moving, some would say that every aspect of our lives is potentially a space for meditation to occur. I do agree with this idea, but in order to reach this kind of place in ourselves requires practice, the more you do something the easier it becomes. And if you have energy stuck in your body that needs to be processed and released, then specific techniques can be incredibly helpful.
I love to dance, I find that when I move my body things tend to shift, it’s something you can do anytime with whatever space is available. Just put on music that feels right to you and go for it! I moved to one of Gabrielle Roth’s dance meditation journeys yesterday and quite a lot came up, I felt enormous loss and anguish that spilled out into sound as well as the movement. Don’t know exactly what it was relating to, simply energy and emotion moving out of the cells of my body.
Today I have slowly but surely been developing uneasy belly, those of you who have been following me for a while will recall lots of posts about that particular aspect of my being. Looks like there is no rest for the wicked! I am interpreting the term wicked as meaning totally wonderful and awesome by the way, not sure if that is the current thinking, but if it isn’t I shall make it so, just like Jean-Luc Picard on the deck of the Starship Enterprise.
Captain Jean-Luc Picard.
And after all the Enterprise is all about exploring strange new territories in outer space, my role is much the same, it’s just inner space we’re talking about here, probably even more mysterious.
Here’s a very silly video, the Picard song, you might even want to have a dance to it! Enjoy!!!!!
I don’t know a lot about astrology but I do know what I feel, and the Scorpio full moon we had last week was incredibly intense! My moon is in Scorpio so that probably increased the intensity, deep feelings of loss and sadness came up leading up to the full moon, then I had three days of a very uneasy belly. It wasn’t emotional and there wasn’t any story attached to the feelings, it was energy swirling around, and every now and then I would feel some of it move through my body like a flock of butterflies, that shimmered through and then out my crown chakra.
Sexy Scorpio Moon.
I like it when stuff moves without me needing to know what the story is, there is a lot less temptation to hang on to the energy when the feelings are not luring you in with their siren song. Nellie Needy is ready to jump on anything that will confirm her world view that she just isn’t enough, Fay Fairytale will start to build castles in the air with absolutely no foundations at the drop of a hat! And Judge Judy takes me to task for all the things I haven’t achieved in my life so far, telling me that I’m a failure and that I need to pull up my socks and get a life!
Well I have a life as it happens, a truly wonderful and magical existence that keeps expanding into more and more happiness and joy. When you move through the shadowy corridors everything becomes edged with doom, kind of like those old horror films where the gore and violence is only ever suggested, and yet is all the more powerful for not being so obvious. I may not have had so much in the way of difficult emotions to deal with in this last lot, but I managed to stress over a whole lot of other things coming up in the next week or two, about which I am now perfectly serene.
As always, there are choices to be made and I choose to flow through my life with ease and grace, may my Scorpio moon bring me the intensity of passion and obsession about the things that will do me the most good!
At last the moment I always wondered about has arrived, I sit here with absolutely no idea what to write about, so I’ll begin by what is happening inside of me, and let’s see where that may take us. My belly is feeling uneasy again and I’m aware of a deep sadness that lies beneath my weariness, it has overtones of abandonment and loss.
The boundless energy I’ve been experiencing since my big release a couple of months ago seems to have deserted me, I hope it’s just a bit more rest that I am needing. Or maybe it’s time for more release, if that’s the case then I wonder what or who the trigger will be this time, I must remember to stay in my heart. Just tried to do some breathing in and out of my heart and I noticed some resistance, it’s like there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to let go of this feeling of doom, I wonder if that’s Nellie Needy.
I will do a little toning, then meditate and maybe see what writing comes from that space, perhaps you will meet brilliance in my next post with inspiration and energy fully restored! Then to sleep, perchance to dream!
I did tone and meditate and the message was loud and clear, go to bed and rest and so I did and here I am in the morning, uneasy belly and furry head. I am off to my two-hour yoga class very soon so perhaps that movement of body and energy fields will begin to stir the pot of creativity. I will set an intention to clear the fog and to free up my life force energy and who knows what will happen, I’ve had some big shifts in this class before.
Home again and the energy is flowing as I release sorrow and loss, the messages keep coming from all directions, be still, go within, don’t try to make anything happen, simply be………………….and so I shall.
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Tagged creativity, energy, heart, Inspiration, intention, loss, meditation, release, resistance, sadness, shifts, still, toning, trigger, uneasy belly, yoga