Tag Archives: void

Streams Of Consciousness.

It’s a lovely feeling to simply open yourself to the free flow of spirit, let the intellect take a holiday, and allow the intuition to guide the creative process. That’s what my last two posts have been like, I have a sense that something is moving in me wanting to be birthed, but as I sit to write I often have absolutely no idea what is coming. It’s a surprise and a pleasure when it all comes together and I read over what has emerged from the void, it comes from me but it is the larger self that understands the big picture who is running the show when I go into that space.

fr0st.wordpress.com

fr0st.wordpress.com

It’s a kind of channelling, in this case poetic but it can also take the form of a conversation with various beings such as guides, I told my story of how I discovered and re-integrated a lost soul fragment of myself in “Dancing In The Moonlight”, July 17 2013 if you would like to read about it. If I am feeling confused about something I often seek clarity or reassurance through automatic writing, different guides of mine come through and give me their advice and thoughts on whatever it is that I am experiencing.

Or if you simply want to get creative and don’t know how to start, sit in front of a blank piece of paper, or the computer I guess but I am old-fashioned when it comes to this sort of writing. Take a moment to centre yourself and let your logical mind step aside, then begin to write and try not to think about what is coming out, let it all spill out in a stream of consciousness until the flow has run out. Then have fun looking at what you’ve done, hopefully you can read your own writing. You can do the same thing with crayons or textas or paint, let the critic go on a tropical holiday and see what your intuition can come up with, you may or may not like the results but with any luck the process has been fun.

breathworkmandala

This is a mandala I drew after a breathwork session back in march, not a great work of art but it carries the energy of that particular healing and I had it on the wall for some time afterwards to remind me. Looks like a cosmic egg cracking open!

You don’t have to be a child have this kind of fun, consider the possibility of having a second childhood and discovering all the dreams that you left behind!

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The Sea Of Unknowing.

Life is like a great cloud of fairy dust sparkling with motes of light, interspersed with moments of shadow, our breath like the wind sighing through it all, as we walk and we dance and we sing. As we dream, ah the wild and fulsome ripples of our deepest self, expressing that which we cannot see when the sun doth shine, the night-time bringing its wisdom in strange and abstract ways. Reflections of truth half heard and glimpsed from the corner of the eye, blink and ye may miss it, focus and it be gone.

At sea in such a fog I can barely tell if it be day or night, knowing the path is there whether it can be seen or not, knowing each step in the moment it must be taken, knowing this is the time, the place. Angels beckon from the heavens above even as the Mother extends her earthy embrace to hold me tight, a bridge between the worlds, a streak of light from above to below. I am connected to everything, the bright energy running through my body is the same that lights the milky way, that fills the night sky with iridescent glow as fireflies dance and the dolphins swim.

glowingocean

Letting go of everything that I think I know, I am left with the emptiness of the void, the restfulness of complete surrender to this moment, to the unknown future, and a past that changes as I do. If the mind’s eye doth cast its own shadow, how can we ever really know for sure, the exact shape and texture of our life. Trust is all that’s left, and a heart that opens to embrace all things, a precise record not necessary when feelings flow through channels of joy, when the response to being alive is to love, and to love, and to love.

Farewell My Love.

I come full circle, the knight goes on forever on his eternal quest for perfection, and I turn away from the fairytale and look upon the world as it is for me. I gaze upon this reality and I feel the resonance in my body, in my soul, held in the emptiness of the void of creation, containing all life, and the seeds for death and rebirth. I will open to what spirit brings unto me, without judgement, I will see beyond the veil, and I will see true.

Knight-1

The deepening of winter draws me into myself, but the space of the hermit is not for me, for I am the connector, the catalyst, that which brings change and shakes up the status quo. You may not see me but you will feel the energy of my creation, as I shine a light that illuminates a bright new path, the road that leads to a new kind of humanity, a new kind of life.

Behind me is the past, all of it, only that which serves will come on this road trip into the future, only the pearls, the swine will stay behind and root in the mud of eternity. My heart still aches gently for the loss of my knight, and yet I know that this parting is a part of what is meant to be, I knew it when we began, and I know it even more so now as we come full circle……….from the darkness into the light.

The Signpost.

I have known thee before,

a long time for evermore,

we have partnered in the dance

and we have loved.

I knew you then, and then, and then,

but for us the dance has changed,

we come together now as friends

and for me you show the way,

to open unto all that I BE,

as the New Age doth unfold,

you open the door and I walk through

my true love to behold.

Copyright Kerry Laizans February 2013.

Here is a beautiful song from Loreena McKennitt called ‘Full Circle’:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97nCHyL6VBw

Demolishing The Fairytale.

Feeling the emptiness of inner space, as the dust from the demolition crews begins to clear, my castles in the air are gone, and while there is a certain relief in that, there is also a hollow feeling. The castles were so pretty, but they had no substance at all, Fay Fairytale and I kept adding wings and suites, and decorating the halls with beautiful tapestries, but all to no avail. So now it’s time to be with the emptiness when that’s what is present, and to follow the passion of my heart at other times, filling up with inspiration and delight as I get excited about my life!

I feel a bit like two different people when I contemplate that vast empty inner space, one is happy to dive in and be without thought, the other feels a sense of loss and is frightened of letting go into the void. How can I bring these two into harmony, how can I reassure the ego self that what seems like death is actually a much bigger life, a place where it isn’t actually possible to lose anything. By surrendering to the flow of spirit, taking myself to the edge, with trance journeying that busts wide open that egoic construct that so many of us spend our lives contained within. There are lots of ways to do this, but ceremony in sacred space with meditation, music and movement, can take you into deep contemplation that helps you to gain perspective on your little dramas.

Smudging with sage.

Smudging with sage.

Or whichever doorway works for you, there are so many, you only have to start really looking and you will realise that the sacred is in everything we do. Keep reminding yourself of where you are in this moment, at the end of the day that moment is all you have, so don’t put too much energy into worrying about the past or the future. Be present and plan for miracles, life is so very good and things to laugh about abound all around us, particularly with the perspective I now have on recent events!

Laugh, drink and be merry!

live-love-laugh-eat-drink

The Empty Heart.

Following the stream of consciousness into the complexity of shape and form, physical, emotional and mental, pathways of neurons, atoms as fractals spiral through the fabric of it all. Letting go of the ego mind my quantum vision is a journey without edges or boundaries, it flows in circles that never end, passing through past, future and present tenses. More often than anything else it is moving within my pleasant tense, bringing purple thoughts of a being made of light, bathing the world in the violet flame.

‘Tis a quiet call to action, no more the clarion call that was required to wake the dead, to blast away the rotting waste that hampered my every step, a graveyard perfume that is lost in the fragrance of the blossoming present moment. All is fresh and new, the flowers opening their petals again and again, as if spring reigned eternal, the pulsating energy centres connecting and flowing as I dive into the void. That welcoming emptiness is warm and inviting, the home hearth fire at which I will always be safe, always be known, always be myself.

To know oneself is a journey that spirals in the shape of the eternity symbol, so many ways to travel and yet they all lead back to the same place. My clear calm centre of beingness that never changes, my perception may dress it in a coat of many colours, yet it remains what is, and what has, and will always be. So when you are weary of the bustle and excitement and stimulation of the wide, wide, world, when your imagination is stuffed with the images and shapes of so much variety, come back to the dark womb of creation, that emptiness that contains it all, the field of potential.

Take a deep breath………….. and dive in!

This beautiful song by Miten expresses that emptiness which is so full, please have a listen and let it touch your heart as it does mine.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ag-TV4TptoY

I Dance.

The yearning that I feel to merge with all things, moves through my being, my soul, the very fabric of who I am. Pared down  to essence I ride the flow generated by the movement of arms, legs, hips, feet and spine. Curling down to the earth, the mother of all, sinking into her soft embrace and being held. Feeling the anchor within I begin to climb from the depths, rising through the base, moving up and ever up, reaching for the crown, reaching for the light.

I dip, I twirl, I spin, the feelings spiralling through the sparkling cells that hold this spirit in this space-time reality we call the present moment. There is nothing but the moment, there is nothing here as I become the void, the womb of creation where emptiness lies full, of the potential for all that ever was, can ever be. The wheel of time is spinning, spinning, and I turn with it into a stillness as deep as the darkness at the bottom of the sea, where glowing creatures glide through an inky landscape.

The one who separates me from all things has fled, it calls itself the mind, it tries to chain me to its small self and say that it is real and the only thing that is. I love this small self for all is precious to me, but how can I convey the beauty of expanded boundless love to a container held so tight. How can we come into balance so all gifts can come into the light, and illuminate the course of humanity’s plight.

For deep in sadness we are mired, deep in grief and loss and limitation, of greed and short-term goals annihilating truth and beauty in all forms. The treasure lies just below the surface, a smidgen out of reach in the heavens above, it lies within the soul of man, of woman, its key is love, its key is love.

Love is all you need, dance me to the end of love, love in the time of cholera, love me tender, love me true, falling in love again, how deep is your love, I just called to say I love you, she loves me yeah, yeah yeah…………….

gabrielleinmotionGabrielle Roth

Gabrielle Roth 1941-2012.

‘Our Mama Raven’s wings have lifted her spirit from this lifetime and she is in flight to her next journey, where she will dance in our hearts forever.’

Gabrielle Roth 1941-2012

-Jonathan A Horan, her son, 5 Rhythms Global

Into The Ground.

Time for a bit of grounding after the latest round of shifts, and what better way to do that than to reflect on my experience of being buried in the earth. I think it was 2004 and I was at the annual gathering of shamanic apprentices, known as Convocation, at a centre where I did a lot of my shamanic studies over a few years.

We began with the men and women in separate spaces for the first couple of days doing our own business, and then on the third day we came together in ceremony and gathered in the tipi. Our teacher spoke and we listened, eventually he began to talk about a process we were being offered, something the men had already experienced. They had dug shallow graves and been buried in them for 12 hours and now we had an opportunity to do the same thing.

It was a bit scary but how could I refuse! We began to prepare ourselves which included becoming part of a tribal structure of four tribes, we were painted with the symbols of our tribe and got to choose the man who would put us into the ground, stand watch, and then bring us out in the morning. We sat and listened as the men told us of what it was like for them being in the earth and the different ways that they coped with the feelings and sensations that came up for them.

You can imagine that being buried would tend to bring up a lot of your stuff! I had a rather practical concern that had nothing to do with my fears and everything to do with my bladder, actually they say if you have to pee a lot that it’s all about being pissed off, and therefore it’s often associated with anger. Anyway, I wanted to last the distance and stay buried for the whole 12 hours so as soon as I realised what we were going to be doing I stopped drinking any liquids.

And so at 7pm as the sun was westering we came to our graves, lined with sheets and doonas, comfortable, yet forbidding. I was in a strange space of unreality, like being caught between the worlds, betwixt the veils that keep our so-called reality in the shape that we are able to recognise. I was about to take a step into the unknown, I knew not what I would find there, but my trepidation was infused with excitement at the prospect of diving into the depths of the mother, into the dark womb of the void.

The Earth's Embrace.

The Earth’s Embrace.

Tune into my next post to find out what happened next, you have 24 hours of antici…………….pation to move through! Of course I realise that you all have a life and many other fascinating things to occupy your time with, but allow me just this once, to be a bit of a drama queen. After all this is a pretty dramatic story.