Tag Archives: wholeness

Out Of The Comfort Zone And Into The Big Picture!

love bubble heartMy Beloved and I are riding the edge at the moment with our finances and with lots of churning ‘stuff’ which is coming up as we challenge old ways of viewing ourselves. The Love Bubble Presents” is a bold vision and requires us to step out of our comfort zone in order to benefit not only ourselves, but to contribute to the larger community. The idea of giving back is incredibly important to both of us but we are looking for our own unique way of doing this. The thing is if you can truly express your talents and creativity in the world you are putting a new blueprint up into the morphogenic field. The more who do this the easier it becomes for anyone on the planet to move into that kind of space.

calm and love bubbles

With “The Love Bubble Presents” we plan to create a program that can assist more people into becoming more of who they are. In the process my Beloved and I are stepping into a bigger role than we have played heretofore and it is certainly an interesting process to see what kinds of things come up. And it will enhance our empathy with our clients as we continue shedding the obstacles that have held us back from wholeness. I have found in my own personal journey that the more I am prepared to let go of, the more sensitive and empathic I have become.

letting-go

My Beloved will explain things to the thinkers and give them an experience of sitting meditation, from there I will take them into their bodies so that the information is grounded. The feelers are catered for here as well, that’s me to a tee, I never really feel like I ‘know’ something until I can feel it in my body. And it will be fun too, who said that opening up to new things couldn’t be fun! In workshops we will probably finish with an ecstatic dance, what a wondrous way to process energies that may be moving in the body after going through various processes.

Ecstatic Dance Spirit in Earth Celebration

So we are inspired but also navigating rather uncomfortable states that are getting triggered as we unfold into an amazing new beginning. I am doing my best to be curious about the more challenging ‘stuff’, something I have had plenty of practice in on the crisis phones as a matter of fact. And of course my Beloved and I always have each other so there is a wonderful playmate to laugh and to cry with. As long as the energies keep moving I reckon it’s going to be just fine!

ecstaticdancer2

Namaste.

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My Story As A Reader: I’m Not Psychic She Said!

A younger me in my mid to late thirties when I used to do markets and festivals with my mother, being a hippy is something I haven't given up!

A younger me in my mid to late thirties when I used to do markets and festivals with my mother, being a hippy is something I haven’t given up!

I’d like to tell you a bit about how I got into doing psychic readings, an interesting direction for someone who as a teenager used to say, “Oh no I’m not psychic, that’s mum’s department.” It all began when my mother gave me the Mythic Tarot when I was 17 years old, a year or so after my father killed himself. I was pretty messed up as you can imagine and I spent many all nighters trying to make sense of all the confusion whirling around inside of me. The tarot cards quickly became an important tool for me and I did reading after reading for myself, in this way I came to know the cards.

A couple of cards from the Mythic Tarot: The Lovers and the 3 of Cups.

A couple of cards from the Mythic Tarot: The Lovers and the 3 of Cups.

In my early twenties I began doing readings for friends and over time I began to make more and more sense of what the cards were telling me. All of a sudden a pattern would reveal itself and I could see how the cards in a layout were connecting with each other. Eventually I became confident enough to start charging people for readings and judging by the responses I got the readings were pretty accurate. My mother always used to say that I gave an overview of the current situation in a nutshell, with the possibilities for the future radiating out from that place.

A radiating pattern in nature in one of the beautiful gardens we have looked after.

A radiating pattern in nature in one of the beautiful gardens we have looked after.

Over the years there has been a continuing evolution and expansion of my intuition that is directly related to my obsessive focus on self-healing. As I have healed layer upon layer of trauma I have become a much clearer channel for spirit to flow through. It’s a bit like cleaning a saucepan that you’ve burnt something in, at first it seems like it will never get clean no matter how long you spend scrubbing it. But if you persist and keep coming back to it there is a magical moment when you can see that it will come good, the darkness begins to disappear and the possibility of wholeness is all lit up.

All lit up like this wind chime!

All lit up like this wind chime!

A couple of years ago I got a kick up the bum from spirit in the form of a client who I connected with quite briefly, he encouraged me to get rid of the cards completely! But it wasn’t about me slavishly following his suggestions, his role was to shake me up and to get me thinking about the way I was doing my readings. Over thirty-three years of using the mythic tarot I had become so familiar with the cards that I had fallen into a bit of a rut. So I got a new pack of cards and I completely let go of the particular layout that I had been doing for so long. Now I channel through how many cards we need and the layout follows no set pattern, it’s interesting to see how the way the cards are placed adds extra meaning to it all.

spiritual awakening

At the same time I have been reaching that place where bits of me have become very clear and it’s so much easier for the information to come through, I simply step out of the way! It’s easier for me and generally makes for more accurate readings too. My studies in counselling and my work as a crisis counsellor have also helped enormously in the way that I communicate the information that comes through for my clients. In fact I am enjoying doing readings now more than ever and have decided to make it an even stronger focus in my working life.

Service with a smile!

Service with a smile! Photo by Steve Swayne.

So if a reading is something that you think might have benefit for you in your current journey please consider getting in touch with me. If you can’t see me in person then I am very happy to connect with you by phone or on Skype, payment is easily arranged by pay-pal or internet transfer.

And stay tuned for my next post where I will go into more depth on what a reading with me might look like and how it might be useful in a practical way in your everyday life.

 

My Warrior The Wolf.

So balance between the masculine and the feminine, this has come up for me not only with the Full Moon in Aries and the lunar eclipse, but also in my latest holistic counselling session. I am very comfortable with the feminine side of things, not that there isn’t work to be done there as well, but it isn’t anywhere near as challenging for me as being in my masculine. No doubt this has a lot to do with my father’s suicide when I was fifteen, I don’t really totally trust in male energy, particularly my own.

But if you want to make things happen out in the world you need that kind of energy, it’s the masculine in its postive form that provides and protects and creates right action in alignment with the good of all. We need this energy as much as we need the soft, receptive and nurturing feminine, together they provide the perfect balance so that we can come into our wholeness. It’s about being in that balance as individuals and as a society, at the moment we are still very much in the male dominated patriarchy.

indianbrave

In my counselling session I found an ally to help me with my warrior energy, I saw a Red Indian warrior standing tall and upright, he feels very strong and very clear. The sound that came through was like a wolf howling at the moon, another connection to the eclipse and an animal totem to explore, then I also saw an owl and that made me aware of another presence, a shaman. This is a reminder to me that the energy of the warrior also applies to my inner journeying, it isn’t just about what I do out in the world.

The biggest message from my warrior is to be strong and to be myself, don’t over complicate things so much and when a decision has been made then TAKE ACTION! He is also about divine timing so there is the wisdom in knowing when it is the right time to do things, I need to stop dithering but I also need to aim my arrows straight and true at the correct target.

indianarrow

Aho! (Means I have spoken, often said at the end of stating one’s intention for a ceremony).

Dancing In The Moonlight.

There was a time when I lived in my little garden flat with my pussy cat and hardly saw another living soul, apart from the people I worked with and my brother down the road. I spent lots of time on my own exploring myself through writing, I wrote about how I was feeling and sometimes it came out as poetry too. I also was experimenting with automatic writing, if you are not familiar with this technique, it’s where you put your mind to one side and let your intuitive brain take over.

I remember being with my brother sometimes when we were learning how to do this and there was a particular character who began appearing whenever I wrote, she called herself Milomel. She was very feisty and used to get annoyed with my bro, who has a wicked sense of humour, sometimes she would refuse to speak to me if he was in the room! Sound a little bit crazy? It’s a type of channeling and people have all sorts of ideas about what is actually going on in this process. That is a discussion for another post, in this particular example it eventually became very clear who Milomel was, and where she had come from.

This wild woman was a part of me that had split off when I was 12 years old, I even found the frozen moment in time when I saw something that shocked me deeply, and which I knew on some level signified the end of my parent’s marriage. I had completely forgotten it until Milomel came back and reminded me, this is an example of a soul fragment coming to search for me rather than the other way around.

I don’t actually remember how I came to the process of finally integrating my wild woman back into myself, I recall lying on my bed for a number of hours while it went on. I knew nothing then about soul retrieval, I was simply following my instincts, the natural impulse towards wholeness that I believe lies within us all. This was an important time for me in that journey, every time you heal  a part of yourself you take a step forward but some steps are more critical than others.

It’s so important to be able to allow yourself to be wild, to rebel and get angry, to dance in the moonlight or flirt with the handsome man on the other side of the room. Twenty years later I am truly reaping the rewards of that intuitive search conducted by my earlier self, thank you little Kerry, I acknowledge and honour you for your courage.

Without you then, I wouldn’t be here now! Love and blissings all round………..

einsteinintuitiverational

Deep Medicine.

I’m beneath the water line now, the tip of the iceberg far, far above me as I dive into the deepest parts of me. Letting go of EVERYTHING, the notion of being imperfect, of somehow not being good enough, a superficial idea created by superficial people who are not really worth giving attention or focus to, ( I include myself in that last description!)  I LET GO, there is nothing held in this drop into my bones, into the heaviness that needs do nothing ‘cept be, what it is in each moment, the present is a gift.

Iceberg

And from this place of deep rest, of relaxation and release my gifts may emerge, defined not by the expectations of others, ’tis a reaching out of soul, of love and life. I am whole and in that wholeness I heal not only myself but the community at large, receiving my radiant light and being uplifted by it. Giving freely and flowing through a life full of joy and delight and good music!

My medicine journey took me to exactly where I needed to go, I perceived my need as releasing certain feelings associated with a particular person. What I realised in the safe space of the sacred circle was that this was an extremely narrow view, it was the tip of the iceberg when it was all that lies below the water line that I needed to journey to. That’s where I went and I was so deep I can’t tell you exactly what happened down there, I was beyond conscious comprehension as my body rocked and jerked to assist the movement of energy.

I am now very conscious of the fact that even when I am ‘relaxing’, there is still something being held somewhere, in the letting go of my journey I actually let go of all of it. It was such a beautiful and deep rest, and I will remember that feeling and do my best to continue my healing path so that I may be in that kind of truly restful space more often.

May there be peace within me, ohm shanti, shanti, shanti……………

stillness2

From Bloody Mind to Joy!

My heart is a trembling but not in fear,

my heart is a trembling, clear, clear , clear.

My heart is vibrating like a leaf caught in the winds of change, excitement is the frequency, antici……………..pation! Happiness is a choice and when you choose positive emotions you’re in a win, win, win, situation. Where the loss is a letting go of what no longer serves you, when it’s time for other souls to move on in their own divine timing, when letting go frees you up to be even more of your wonderful self.

The time is upon us and we are the ones we have been waiting for, the new age is birthing and yet again we have a choice, to follow our pain or our bliss. Let the pain be your signpost and may bliss infuse the stones that make up the path to wholeness.I used to choose the painful path a lot, the sharp stones would tear my soles and they would bleed, no wonder I described myself as bloody minded! What I thought was bliss in those days simply took the edge off a pain so deep I could barely acknowledge it’s existence.

That pain made cracks in the very fabric of my being and brought me to a place where I could do naught but dive into the abyss, hoping that there would be light at the end of the tunnel. I travelled through the darkness, the long dark night of the soul, for what seemed like an eon. I did not waver, no matter the blood dripping from my soul, I did not waver from my clear intention, to heal everything in this lifetime!

And now my heart expands with joy, as blissfully I step forth into the path of love, the canyon of desire. So deep a place it reaches into the very heart of our mother, the Earth, and even there it doth not end, for pleasure, like love, is infinite.This warm glow of the life force flow, it fills me to the brim. The fire once held deep inside, now moves through every limb. Through every part of me it goes, I am alive God knows! And so does the Goddess,oh yes, she knows, and grows, and sings, as she dances with light!

Photo by Ulli Hansen and friends.

Photo by Ulli Hansen and friends.