So here I am whipping up a post again and it feels a little bit like dear diary, oh boy I could do such a great x rated tale of events. But this isn’t that kind of a blog, doesn’t mean however that I can’t use the same inspiration to write some erotic literature, perhaps I will look up Anais Nin. I am more familiar with quotes from her but it might be time to read what she wrote, it will probably be different from what I would write but it may take me places I wouldn’t have gone otherwise.
And there has been a lot of pain, very intense at times but this sharing of wisdom is very true for me. At the other end of sometimes agonising pain, I have come to the light at the end of the tunnel and find it good.
And with that wonderful statement I will leave you dear readers as I return to my oh so courageous man……………after all if I’m going to try writing some erotic prose I need to go and do some research.
Trusting……….that I am always connected to the source of all things, my heart blazing a path that wends its way through all kinds of landscapes. At times the way may be littered with rocks and pot holes, challenging me to be like water and to flow over and through without losing the essence that I am. Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death……..I shall not falter, indeed I will embrace each ending as it doth present it’s face to me. And in the letting go of unnecessary things my life force will find new channels, the power of love and creativity making a fire that will burn forever.
Beginning always in stillness……….the vast empty space of creation beckons me unto the void, where there is nothing………. and yet all of the potential for manifestation lies in this emptiness. No need to do anything, being unfolds without direction and while I may open to desire, while I may know what I think I want, always shall I surrender to the higher wisdom that knows truth in a way that my ego can never imagine.
Bringing together my desire and the urging of spirit, my inspiration bursts forth and the bars of my prison are melting into joy…….glittering threads of destiny weaving a tapestry that sings a new song, as a fresh day dawns. The need to know is a fetter that shall chain me no more, I trust life, I trust myself, I am whole………… I will ever be a part of the spirit of God, Goddess, of all that is…….love is an ocean in which I shall swim for evermore, in and out-of-body, ’tis the spirit that goes on eternal, the flame that has no end, and no beginning……….
My gratitude overflows……….and I am at peace.
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Tagged creativity, destiny, ego, essence, gratitude, heart, life force, love, manifestation, peace, source, spirit, stillness, surrender, trust, wisdom
What is the essence of me, who am I really when all is said and done, what do I contribute to the world simply by being that particular flavour of love shaped into form. I think of all the open faces beaming radiance in my direction as I move in and out of the dimensions of living in a rich tapestry of people and places, what are they telling me and am I listening? Does life begin now as I gather myself to fly high with all these lovely supporters ready to cheer me on as I finally take my purpose with both hands and use it to fuel an amazing vehicle whose tanks will never ever run out.
Old doubts and fears try to insinuate themselves into the new chapter opening up, like the darkness that shadows the clouds as they build and build towards the final release of storm and wind and lightning. At last the rain but no, another false alarm as the dry earth becomes a little dryer and the tanks drop a little lower, as I sink into the arms of my body’s wisdom, wishing for my own storm to arrive. Feels like a waiting game with no rules of engagement, the wisdom of the heart says to do nothing in this moment, simply be, taking each moment as it comes.
Another wrenching cough and I surrender, I raise the white flag and I LET GO………….the message is so very clear and I melt into that release, allowing the rising tension to dissipate, to go. If I stayed in this room for the rest of my life and did nothing more, my being would contribute to the evolution of life as we know it, there is absolutely NOTHING to be done.
I AM THAT I AM, I am what I am, I am alive and that is more than enough in this moment!
This has nothing much to do with this post except I’m writing about storms and the song is “Weather With You” from Crowded House, hope you enjoy the song anyway! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ag8XcMG1EX4
Shimmering greens in every shade tease my wandering eye, as the westering light brings a golden glow that somehow illuminates the soul and the spirit of everything it touches. The earth speaks to me about her song and I know that she is sharing her wisdom with me even though I cannot always understand what she is saying, at least not with my mind. The inner eye reaches beyond the rational brain to pluck out gems from the body’s storehouse of knowledge, bringing each piece of treasure forth in just the right moment! Oh look, it’s a diamond shining at the crown, and over there a sapphire as deep and blue as the autumn skies helping me to speak my truth, and red, red ruby carries the fire of survival and connection and passion!
But for now I lay back and allow the gentle flow of nature’s voice to soothe the knots that tighten the flow of spirit, feeling the sacred space that is always within, that holds me with such tenderness. Time out in paradise, and everything lets go as the faeries sprinkle their sparkling dust through the corridors of my being, inviting me to dance and to play, to love and to laugh. The whispering wind tickles my fancy with his warm breath and I hang suspended above the ground gently swaying with peace gently vibrating in every cell.
Peace in every step.
The shining red sun is my heart.
Each flower smiles with me.
How green, how fresh all that grows.
How cool the wind blows.
Peace is every step.
It turns the endless path to joy.
Thich Nhat Hanh Excerpt from Peace in Every Step
Ohm shanti, shanti, shanti………….peace, peace, peace.
Life is like a great cloud of fairy dust sparkling with motes of light, interspersed with moments of shadow, our breath like the wind sighing through it all, as we walk and we dance and we sing. As we dream, ah the wild and fulsome ripples of our deepest self, expressing that which we cannot see when the sun doth shine, the night-time bringing its wisdom in strange and abstract ways. Reflections of truth half heard and glimpsed from the corner of the eye, blink and ye may miss it, focus and it be gone.
At sea in such a fog I can barely tell if it be day or night, knowing the path is there whether it can be seen or not, knowing each step in the moment it must be taken, knowing this is the time, the place. Angels beckon from the heavens above even as the Mother extends her earthy embrace to hold me tight, a bridge between the worlds, a streak of light from above to below. I am connected to everything, the bright energy running through my body is the same that lights the milky way, that fills the night sky with iridescent glow as fireflies dance and the dolphins swim.
Letting go of everything that I think I know, I am left with the emptiness of the void, the restfulness of complete surrender to this moment, to the unknown future, and a past that changes as I do. If the mind’s eye doth cast its own shadow, how can we ever really know for sure, the exact shape and texture of our life. Trust is all that’s left, and a heart that opens to embrace all things, a precise record not necessary when feelings flow through channels of joy, when the response to being alive is to love, and to love, and to love.
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Tagged Angels, dance, dark, dream, energy, heart, letting go, light, love, mind, trust, truth, void, wisdom
The absolute truth cannot be realized within the domain of the ordinary mind. And the path beyond the ordinary mind, all the great wisdom traditions have told us, is through the heart. This path of the heart is devotion.
Meet the human yo-yo, from gratitude to fear and stress! You guessed it, I am finding it fairly challenging to stay in the present moment, the strange thing is that my fearful thoughts came up while I was laying down in savasana at the end of a fabulous yoga class. Mmmmmm maybe not that strange, sometimes a class will integrate and calm and at other times it will stir things up. Initially as I lay there I could feel a lovely tingling in the cells of my body, almost as if I was floating, then monkey mind decided to take a trip into the future and suddenly the yummy lassitude was littered with money worries.
It was a busy day where I had to go pretty much from one thing to another before heading off to an overnight shift, so an afternoon sleep was in order as well. I rushed through the shopping I had to do and then rushed home to get on with everything else that had to be done, wishing I could skip it all and just go to sleep for the rest of the day! I was cleaning the bathroom sink telling myself that none of my worries were here in the present moment, that I was borrowing trouble from the future, when I suddenly remembered about devotion.
And that one thought changed everything, if I see everything that I am doing as an act of devotion it seems completely different, becomes lighter and easier. It also brought me fully into the present moment so that the concerns over future affairs melted away, I still felt a bit stressed about the busy day but the levels had gone right down.
It always seems to come back to the heart in the end, and devotion is the magical spell that brings me back into that space…………….sometimes magic is a lot simpler than we realise!
Ohm shanti, shanti, shanti…………..with heartfelt blissings………..
A few weeks ago I did a reading for an older man who appeared very conservative, so I was a bit surprised when at the end of the reading he tuned in and gave me a reading too! It was the last thing I expected, but I guess spirit felt it important to send me a message, and the messengers often don’t come in the forms that we expect them to. I think this man was an Earth Angel, and he told me that I needed to do something about my neck, which is absolutely true, and he also said that I needed to connect more with the earth with my bare skin.
That really resonated with me, but I’ve been so busy it’s been almost impossible to find the time to do that, and in the busyness I tend to forget anyway. I remembered a couple of days ago when I was feeling a bit wiped out and needing to recharge my batteries to get through my overnight shift, and just 15 minutes lying on the earth made an enormous difference. Then I was telling a friend about this and she asked me if I’d ever put my back against a tree and connected with tree consciousness.
The answer to that question is a big YES, in shamanic trainings I did we often went out into the bush and found a tree to commune with. I remember tuning in to fern consciousness once and it was fascinating, ferns are a group consciousness like ants or bees and they have a much quicker energy than trees tend to. If you need to slow down then connect with a tree, there was a 150 year old Moreton Bay Fig tree in Sydney that I used to go and sit with when I lived there. She was the guardian spirit of a very old church yard and I used to think of her as my grandmother, she gave me wonderful advice when I had difficult decisions to make and I really trusted her wisdom.
When we dishonour and disrespect nature we’re really doing it to ourselves, it is a reflection of the modern worlds inability to truly honour and love self. Not self as a separate individual all alone in the world, no…………the authentic presence that I AM is connected to all things. The cosmos, the trees, the animals and plants and rocks and minerals, there is no part of life which I am not a part of, nothing that is not me.
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Tagged authentic, connect, earth angel, grandmother, life, nature, readings, shamanic, spirit, tree consciousness, wisdom
Those of you who are following these posts might want to know how I got on with the conversation I had with my body last night. As I was lying in bed I asked my body if we could either find a different way of releasing the toxins, or move it through overnight while I slept. Well my body chose the latter and this resulted in numerous trips to the bathroom, some sleep and then up, back and forth until I almost began to regret my request. Somehow I did manage to get some rest and then lo and behold, I woke feeling so much better, the cold is still in my system but the sore throat is gone. I suspect that when I wake up tomorrow I will be completely hale and hearty again!
I still felt tired but I only did what absolutely had to be done, and that was after having a nice sleep in. I came home and had a sleep in the afternoon, the honest truth is that I could probably have slept all day, but I had two plays to go to, one in the afternoon and one in the evening. That’s my country town, always so much to do and the finale for the evening was “The Vagina Monologues”. Some of you may recall a post called “My Regretful Vagina” that I wrote after deciding not to audition for this play. No regrets after seeing the show, it was deeply profound, disturbing, and very, very funny, to take part in a performance of this depth would have required energy and focus that I simply didn’t have to spare.
So by staying in touch with my own needs I was able to have my cake and eat it too! Listen to what your body has to say to you, it’s always speaking to us but most people tend to ignore the wisdom that it has to share. Life is so much more rewarding when you pay attention, I LOVE mindfulness, it means that I usually have a good idea of what is going in inside me, and if I don’t it’s an opportunity to discover more about that last frontier, the inner realms of the human spirit.
Here are a couple of clips I’ve posted before, but both well worth watching more than once, the first is my favourite version of “My Angry Vagina” from the monologues. The second is Eve Ensler, the author of “The Vagina Monologues”, speaking in India about the horrors of violence against women, and the inspiration and joy of what women are doing to change this. I hope you enjoy these as much as I did!
Eve Ensler: Embrace your inner girl | Video on TED.com
With the realisation that I’m feeling a yearning to be on land that sings to me, I am pondering the process of manifestation and how it operates. Finding perfect places to live that I can afford is something I’ve always been good at, so the prognosis for me achieving my goal is good. The fact that I have a good track record in this department means that I have an ingrained belief that I can do this, and that faith is an integral part of being able to create your own reality.
The first part is being very clear on your vision, whatever it is that you want to draw into your life, its good to have as much detail as possible. My vision for where and how I want to live has almost been pouring out of me since my magical house sit, so I would say that spirit knows what it is that I want. I see myself in the bush but not too far from town, a house or cottage with lots of wood, cleared around the building but with the forest not too far away. It’s a sanctuary, a place that holds me safely while I recharge my batteries and explore new dimensions of the natural world and my own being.
Then there is action, I began that today by telling a friend who will keep her ear to the ground on my behalf. I’ll do that with other people and also send an email to the people with the fairy cottage who I house sat for, at some point I will probably bring in social media but for now I will start by putting feelers out into the community. And then there is the letting go part of the process where you release your vision to spirit and allow it to bring your dream to you, having faith that it will happen in the best possible way for you and all life everywhere. Always good to add that bit, its kind of like insurance to make sure that what you are creating is aligned with the highest good for all life.
So I will move in and out of action and letting go, following my flow as best as I am able to, feeling my heart yearning for that deep connection with the land. Allowing the wisdom of my heart to guide me in moving into that desire, trusting that all will be well………………so be it, so be it, so be it.
Here is some wisdom from Abraham on manifestation:
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Tagged Abraham, action, belief, community, connection, faith, goal, heart, land, manifestation, reality, spirit, vision, wisdom
Champagne in the middle of the day, even just a little bit, makes a girl wilt like a flower that’s been left without water for too long. It makes finding the inspiration for a post that much harder to find, so I’m doing what I always do in this situation, writing about what I’m feeling in this very moment and see where it takes me. There’s a weariness and a vulnerability in me, and I’m not quite sure what it’s about, after my recent experiences of my feelings being amplified by a malicious outside source, one can’t help wondering if something like that is going on yet again.
How can I tell if this is mine, mmmmmm…….guess I need to pause for a moment and tune in, and also use my imagination to put a mirror all around me, so that if anything is coming from outside of me it will be reflected back to sender. Ok so I did all that and this is definitely mine, there was no shift when I made the mirror and when I focused on the feeling in my belly it moved up to my heart. It’s sadness with no particular story attached to it which is another clue, an invasive energy is going to stir up your negative self-talk and stories. I acknowledged the feeling and it began to shift into warmth and tingling, signs of the energy moving, there is a tiny bit left but I actually feel a bit less tired.
It takes practice to tune into your body but it’s a skill that is well worth developing, if you can connect with its authentic voice the body has much wisdom to offer us. There are many doorways that lead to that knowing, dance, yoga, and meditation are my personal favourites but take your pick, there is a wonderful world out there just bursting with ideas on how to connect more deeply with the self.
Enjoy the journey!
Eugene Gendlin talks about focusing, this explores our deeper ‘felt’ sense and can help you to understand your body’s point of view:
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Tagged authentic, belly, body, dance, energy, Eugene Gendlin, focusing, Inspiration, meditation, negative, sadness, self-talk, shift, wisdom, yoga