Tag Archives: wisdom

Listening To The Feminine.

Those of you who are following these posts might want to know how I got on with the conversation I had with my body last night. As I was lying in bed I asked my body if we could either find a different way of releasing the toxins, or move it through overnight while I slept. Well my body chose the latter and this resulted in numerous trips to the bathroom, some sleep and then up, back and forth until I almost began to regret my request. Somehow I did manage to get some rest and then lo and behold, I woke feeling so much better, the cold is still in my system but the sore throat is gone. I suspect that when I wake up tomorrow I will be completely hale and hearty again!

I still felt tired but I only did what absolutely had to be done, and that was after having a nice sleep in. I came home and had a sleep in the afternoon, the honest truth is that I could probably have slept all day, but I had two plays to go to, one in the afternoon and one in the evening. That’s my country town, always so much to do and the finale for the evening was “The Vagina Monologues”. Some of you may recall a post called “My Regretful Vagina” that I wrote after deciding not to audition for this play. No regrets after seeing the show, it was deeply profound, disturbing, and very, very funny, to take part in a performance of this depth would have required energy and focus that I simply didn’t have to spare.

Brooke Shields and Andrea Martin perform The Vagina Monologues at V Day in New York, 2001. Photograph: Scott Gries/Getty Images http://www.theguardian.com/culture/2013/feb/04/how-we-made-vagina-monologues

Brooke Shields and Andrea Martin perform The Vagina Monologues at V Day in New York, 2001. Photograph: Scott Gries/Getty Images
http://www.theguardian.com/culture/2013/feb/04/how-we-made-vagina-monologues

So by staying in touch with my own needs I was able to have my cake and eat it too! Listen to what your body has to say to you, it’s always speaking to us but most people tend to ignore the wisdom that it has to share. Life is so much more rewarding when you pay attention, I LOVE mindfulness, it means that I usually have a good idea of what is going in inside me, and if I don’t it’s an opportunity to discover more about that last frontier, the inner realms of the human spirit.

Here are a couple of clips I’ve posted before, but both well worth watching more than once, the first is my favourite version of “My Angry Vagina” from the monologues. The second is Eve Ensler, the author of “The Vagina Monologues”, speaking in India about the horrors of violence against women, and the inspiration and joy of what women are doing to change this. I hope you enjoy these as much as I did!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=og10JphWHRQ

Eve Ensler: Embrace your inner girl | Video on TED.com

Dream The Dream.

With the realisation that I’m feeling a yearning to be on land that sings to me, I am pondering the process of manifestation and how it operates. Finding perfect places to live that I can afford is something I’ve always been good at, so the prognosis for me achieving my goal is good. The fact that I have a good track record in this department means that I have an ingrained belief that I can do this, and that faith is an integral part of  being able to create your own reality.

The first part is being very clear on your vision, whatever it is that you want to draw into your life, its good to have as much detail as possible. My vision for where and how I want to live has almost been pouring out of me since my magical house sit, so I would say that spirit knows what it is that I want. I see myself in the bush but not too far from town, a house or cottage with lots of wood, cleared around the building but with the forest not too far away. It’s a sanctuary, a place that holds me safely while I recharge my batteries and explore new dimensions of the natural world and my own being.

fairycottage

Then there is action, I began that today by telling a friend who will keep her ear to the ground on my behalf. I’ll do that with other people and also send an email to the people with the fairy cottage who I house sat for, at some point I will probably bring in social media but for now I will start by putting feelers out into the community. And then there is the letting go part of the process where you release your vision to spirit and allow it to bring your dream to you, having faith that it will happen in the best possible way for you and all life everywhere. Always good to add that bit, its kind of like insurance to make sure that what you are creating is aligned with the highest good for all life.

So I will move in and out of action and letting go, following my flow as best as I am able to, feeling my heart yearning for that deep connection with the land. Allowing the wisdom of my heart to guide me in moving into that desire, trusting that all will be well………………so be it, so be it, so be it.

Here is some wisdom from Abraham on manifestation:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlNmsRt7tx4

The Felt Sense.

Champagne in the middle of the day, even just a little bit, makes a girl wilt like a flower that’s been left without water for too long. It makes finding the inspiration for a post that much harder to find, so I’m doing what I always do in this situation, writing about what I’m feeling in this very moment and see where it takes me. There’s a weariness and a vulnerability in me, and I’m not quite sure what it’s about, after my recent experiences of my feelings being amplified by a malicious outside source, one can’t help wondering if something like that is going on yet again.

champagne

How can I tell if this is mine, mmmmmm…….guess I need to pause for a moment and tune in, and also use my imagination to put a mirror all around me, so that if anything is coming from outside of me it will be reflected back to sender. Ok so I did all that and this is definitely mine, there was no shift when I made the mirror and when I focused on the feeling in my belly it moved up to my heart. It’s sadness with no particular story attached to it which is another clue, an invasive energy is going to stir up your negative self-talk and stories. I acknowledged the feeling and it began to shift into warmth and tingling, signs of the energy moving, there is a tiny bit left but I actually feel a bit less tired.

It takes practice to tune into your body but it’s a skill that is well worth developing, if you can connect with its authentic voice the body has much wisdom to offer us. There are many doorways that lead to that knowing, dance, yoga, and meditation are my personal favourites but take your pick, there is a wonderful world out there just bursting with ideas on how to connect more deeply with the self.

Enjoy the journey!

Eugene Gendlin talks about focusing, this explores our deeper ‘felt’ sense and can help you to understand your body’s point of view:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7PEC5Mh5FY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmL4zjVi8Dk

Pain.

In my last post I referred to stuff moving, well it’s practically tumbling out of me and I am feeling such intense pain, and for once I don’t know what to do with it. I won’t bore you with the details but I found myself in a space where I couldn’t stop crying, and I knew in that moment that I needed to seek help. It’s wonderful to be self-reliant and to have lots of amazing tools at your disposal, but  it’s also a sign of great wisdom to know when you need some outside support. Sometimes what’s going on in your inner journey is just too much for you to handle without someone to hold space for you, as you drop into wherever it is you need to go.

I am very accustomed to being able to deal with whatever is moving inside me, to be in a space where I really don’t know what to do is scary, I guess it’s how it is for many of the people I talk to on the crisis phone lines. I’m going to reach out for that help but I don’t know if it will be available at such short notice, this is really living in the moment and perhaps that’s why people get addicted to the things that cause them pain, it brings them into the present moment, pain really gives you focus.

The positive side of all this is that I have been in painful places before, and I know that I can not only make it through the dark tunnel, but thrive on the energies that are released as I let go of yet more of that which no longer serves me. And the reward is more ecstasy and joy, more free-flowing expression of creative energy, more happiness and connection with my community of beautiful souls.

One day your heart

will take you to your lover.

One day your soul

will carry you to the Beloved.

Don’t get lost in your pain,

know that one day

your pain will become your cure.

Rumi (From Rumi: Hidden Music, Thorsons 2001, p136)

rumi

The Sweetness of a Smile.

The babble of voices around me a sea of good humour and contentment, feasting on raw treats in a temple to compassionate living. The little girl in her mother’s arms with the sweetest cheeky smile, discovering the wonders of a leaf, and then a flower.

childsmiling

I feel that sense of wonder, see with the eyes of the child nestling within my heart. But it’s not the child that was, it’s the child that I have become. To bring together all the glory of a freshly incarnated spirit, with wisdom and deep understanding, is to step into a fullness as bright as the stars in the sky above.

childsmiling2

I join the babble of voices as a friend stops by and we talk about the big shifts and changes that have been happening within and without. We share radiance and joy at the incredible nature of life on the planet at this time.

The antennae springing out from my heart ‘feel’ into the world and find it to be good. There must be darkness out there, sadness and dis-ease, but all transforms through the lens of my heart space. It offers acceptance and love, it offers surrender to what is, and through this radiant matrix change becomes possible.

To love without having to be in love, to be in love with self, with life itself. Falling into an ocean of bliss I surrender to my flow which is whispering into my ear of my next destination, hazy in the distance. A state of consciousness as much as a place, time to move on………time to go.

Bodytalk.

And so the detox continues, my lips are still very dry and I’ve had a hint of a rash that is familiar to me, it turns up when I am processing very deep stuff, and often has an important message to convey. It’s only there in a very subtle form, no-one else would know but I feel quite itchy at times just under my bottom lip.

It would have been towards the end of 2003 when I was involved in intense shamanic training in bodywork and breathwork, that I experienced this rash in  a very intense form. I went to a talk by Nityama, a tantric master, just hugging him is enough to trigger an orgasmic state, I got a lot out of his talk on conscious relationships and it got me thinking about the relationship that I had supposedly ended just recently.

It was someone I had a deep bond with and love for, but it was definitely not a conscious relationship, I had ended it because I knew it was doomed but he was still coming to my bed, it can be hard to let go as I’m sure you all know! At the end of that talk I knew I had to finish it completely but a week later I still hadn’t done anything about it.

Then a day or two after a bodywork session this rash started to develop on my face, it was intensely itchy and I had little pustules that wept at night so I had to have a towel on my pillow. I still went to work, life modelling and working in a bookshop, I was determined to work out what the rash was telling me so I refused to suppress it with medication. This went on for four days and then I was talking with my dear buddy Ulli on the phone about it, and we were discussing the significance of where it was occurring on my body, she said, “What is you’re not facing?”

The penny dropped and as soon as I hung up on her I rang my ex and asked him to come visit, he wasn’t surprised when I said we had to finish completely, there was a sense of relief on both our parts. I went to bed that night and when I woke up the rash was well on the way to healing, I had got the message and taken appropriate action.

The message isn’t always as clear as on that occasion, but the body is always talking to us, and it has a deep wisdom we would be wise to tap into. In order to access this space it is necessary to do clearing on the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels of our being. I’ve been engaged in this process since the beginning of 2000 but the good news is that for some of you it will be much quicker, I have had a lot of damage to clear which is often the case for those of us engaged in the healing arts.

Either way it is so worth doing, life just gets better and better, there is more joy, pleasure and fun to be had, in fact it’s infinite!! So go ahead and follow your bliss, that’s my plan!

From FaceBook.com/Quantumfractal

From FaceBook.com/Quantumfractal

My Strawberry Heart.

I was about to start talking about food, but then Michael Frante started singing about plugging his headphones into my heart, and I just had to get up and dance. If you don’t get the food right it can really affect you on every level of beingness, but at the end of the day it’s the heart’s wisdom that must prevail. Not sure if I have mentioned this before, but half the cells in our hearts are identical to brain cells, so we really can think with our hearts. That may come as a surprise to the materialistic culture, but indigenous people know this without needing any science to back it up.

When your heart is open everything flows more smoothly, even heartache and misery, keeping your heart open when you are having painful and difficult feelings, helps to move the feelings through your body and out, rather than staying in the cellular memory. I had a direct experience of this when I was studying for my Graduate Diploma in Counselling.

I was studying full-time, working part-time, and I had reached a point where I was going into overwhelm. My 16-year-old cat had to be taken to the vet and put down as I was doing the final part of my class in grief and loss, the video role play I did for my final assessment came back as a pass instead of the high distinction I deserved because it wouldn’t play, not my fault, technological issues beyond my control. I had so much painful stuff moving through me I wasn’t sure I would get through the week much less the rest of the year.

Then I found a crystal called rhodochrosite in a shop, and bought some shards of it, I took it home and put the pieces on a photo of myself and said a simple prayer asking for relief and peace from all I was experiencing. The next morning I woke up and I was fine, nothing had changed but suddenly I was coping. A fellow student who was going through similar stuff, heard my story, and gave me a photo of herself, and I did the same thing for her. When I saw her a week later she reported starting to feel better around the time I did the ritual for her.

It seems like magic, but it’s really just about tuning into a deeper reality, and it’s your heart that will lead you there. My heart feels like a juicy strawberry glistening with moisture, that you just want to bite into with joyful relish, open and fully present in the moment! The more I trust this space, the more it becomes my true reality, oh Spirit, may I be supported in every possible way as I move more and more into the awakening of my true purpose in life.

So be it, so be it, so be it……………………………….

strawberries