Tag Archives: wisdom

Pain.

In my last post I referred to stuff moving, well it’s practically tumbling out of me and I am feeling such intense pain, and for once I don’t know what to do with it. I won’t bore you with the details but I found myself in a space where I couldn’t stop crying, and I knew in that moment that I needed to seek help. It’s wonderful to be self-reliant and to have lots of amazing tools at your disposal, but  it’s also a sign of great wisdom to know when you need some outside support. Sometimes what’s going on in your inner journey is just too much for you to handle without someone to hold space for you, as you drop into wherever it is you need to go.

I am very accustomed to being able to deal with whatever is moving inside me, to be in a space where I really don’t know what to do is scary, I guess it’s how it is for many of the people I talk to on the crisis phone lines. I’m going to reach out for that help but I don’t know if it will be available at such short notice, this is really living in the moment and perhaps that’s why people get addicted to the things that cause them pain, it brings them into the present moment, pain really gives you focus.

The positive side of all this is that I have been in painful places before, and I know that I can not only make it through the dark tunnel, but thrive on the energies that are released as I let go of yet more of that which no longer serves me. And the reward is more ecstasy and joy, more free-flowing expression of creative energy, more happiness and connection with my community of beautiful souls.

One day your heart

will take you to your lover.

One day your soul

will carry you to the Beloved.

Don’t get lost in your pain,

know that one day

your pain will become your cure.

Rumi (From Rumi: Hidden Music, Thorsons 2001, p136)

rumi

The Sweetness of a Smile.

The babble of voices around me a sea of good humour and contentment, feasting on raw treats in a temple to compassionate living. The little girl in her mother’s arms with the sweetest cheeky smile, discovering the wonders of a leaf, and then a flower.

childsmiling

I feel that sense of wonder, see with the eyes of the child nestling within my heart. But it’s not the child that was, it’s the child that I have become. To bring together all the glory of a freshly incarnated spirit, with wisdom and deep understanding, is to step into a fullness as bright as the stars in the sky above.

childsmiling2

I join the babble of voices as a friend stops by and we talk about the big shifts and changes that have been happening within and without. We share radiance and joy at the incredible nature of life on the planet at this time.

The antennae springing out from my heart ‘feel’ into the world and find it to be good. There must be darkness out there, sadness and dis-ease, but all transforms through the lens of my heart space. It offers acceptance and love, it offers surrender to what is, and through this radiant matrix change becomes possible.

To love without having to be in love, to be in love with self, with life itself. Falling into an ocean of bliss I surrender to my flow which is whispering into my ear of my next destination, hazy in the distance. A state of consciousness as much as a place, time to move on………time to go.

Bodytalk.

And so the detox continues, my lips are still very dry and I’ve had a hint of a rash that is familiar to me, it turns up when I am processing very deep stuff, and often has an important message to convey. It’s only there in a very subtle form, no-one else would know but I feel quite itchy at times just under my bottom lip.

It would have been towards the end of 2003 when I was involved in intense shamanic training in bodywork and breathwork, that I experienced this rash in  a very intense form. I went to a talk by Nityama, a tantric master, just hugging him is enough to trigger an orgasmic state, I got a lot out of his talk on conscious relationships and it got me thinking about the relationship that I had supposedly ended just recently.

It was someone I had a deep bond with and love for, but it was definitely not a conscious relationship, I had ended it because I knew it was doomed but he was still coming to my bed, it can be hard to let go as I’m sure you all know! At the end of that talk I knew I had to finish it completely but a week later I still hadn’t done anything about it.

Then a day or two after a bodywork session this rash started to develop on my face, it was intensely itchy and I had little pustules that wept at night so I had to have a towel on my pillow. I still went to work, life modelling and working in a bookshop, I was determined to work out what the rash was telling me so I refused to suppress it with medication. This went on for four days and then I was talking with my dear buddy Ulli on the phone about it, and we were discussing the significance of where it was occurring on my body, she said, “What is you’re not facing?”

The penny dropped and as soon as I hung up on her I rang my ex and asked him to come visit, he wasn’t surprised when I said we had to finish completely, there was a sense of relief on both our parts. I went to bed that night and when I woke up the rash was well on the way to healing, I had got the message and taken appropriate action.

The message isn’t always as clear as on that occasion, but the body is always talking to us, and it has a deep wisdom we would be wise to tap into. In order to access this space it is necessary to do clearing on the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels of our being. I’ve been engaged in this process since the beginning of 2000 but the good news is that for some of you it will be much quicker, I have had a lot of damage to clear which is often the case for those of us engaged in the healing arts.

Either way it is so worth doing, life just gets better and better, there is more joy, pleasure and fun to be had, in fact it’s infinite!! So go ahead and follow your bliss, that’s my plan!

From FaceBook.com/Quantumfractal

From FaceBook.com/Quantumfractal

My Strawberry Heart.

I was about to start talking about food, but then Michael Frante started singing about plugging his headphones into my heart, and I just had to get up and dance. If you don’t get the food right it can really affect you on every level of beingness, but at the end of the day it’s the heart’s wisdom that must prevail. Not sure if I have mentioned this before, but half the cells in our hearts are identical to brain cells, so we really can think with our hearts. That may come as a surprise to the materialistic culture, but indigenous people know this without needing any science to back it up.

When your heart is open everything flows more smoothly, even heartache and misery, keeping your heart open when you are having painful and difficult feelings, helps to move the feelings through your body and out, rather than staying in the cellular memory. I had a direct experience of this when I was studying for my Graduate Diploma in Counselling.

I was studying full-time, working part-time, and I had reached a point where I was going into overwhelm. My 16-year-old cat had to be taken to the vet and put down as I was doing the final part of my class in grief and loss, the video role play I did for my final assessment came back as a pass instead of the high distinction I deserved because it wouldn’t play, not my fault, technological issues beyond my control. I had so much painful stuff moving through me I wasn’t sure I would get through the week much less the rest of the year.

Then I found a crystal called rhodochrosite in a shop, and bought some shards of it, I took it home and put the pieces on a photo of myself and said a simple prayer asking for relief and peace from all I was experiencing. The next morning I woke up and I was fine, nothing had changed but suddenly I was coping. A fellow student who was going through similar stuff, heard my story, and gave me a photo of herself, and I did the same thing for her. When I saw her a week later she reported starting to feel better around the time I did the ritual for her.

It seems like magic, but it’s really just about tuning into a deeper reality, and it’s your heart that will lead you there. My heart feels like a juicy strawberry glistening with moisture, that you just want to bite into with joyful relish, open and fully present in the moment! The more I trust this space, the more it becomes my true reality, oh Spirit, may I be supported in every possible way as I move more and more into the awakening of my true purpose in life.

So be it, so be it, so be it……………………………….

strawberries

Imagining Kindness.

Time to talk food again, I did some naughty eating over the weekend and it’s reflected immediately upon the scales! Seems terribly unfair, but I guess I can also see it as a signpost that tells me with great clarity, that what I consumed was not particularly good for this body. Different bodies have their own responses to the fuel that we provide, and it’s important to find the food that works for your own unique and wonderful self.

I’m really feeling the craving for carbs that seems to be so easily stimulated for me, if I stray off the path even just a smidgen, the appetite wakes up and the voice of addiction begins its siren song. As I sit here and write, that voice is telling me that fish and chips is a perfectly reasonable dinner to have, it started as a piece of fish with salad that I will make, but that coaxing voice is luring me into carbohydrate overload!!

I know it’s just plain lazy on my part, but at times like this I long for a partner with the same interest in pursuing optimum health, to share the load of getting it altogether. Someone who loves to create masterpieces in the kitchen, oh what  a dream man that would be, I would happily be the kitchen hand joyfully clearing up the mess left by creativity gone wild.

In the meantime it’s up to me to create this new lifestyle for myself, and one thing that I have learned as I walk the path of life, is that self-flagellation doesn’t help when it comes to creating and manifesting change of any kind. My mother always says that kindness is one of the most underrated qualities and I heartily agree with her. But we need to remember to apply this wisdom to ourselves as well as to others, imagine a world where everybody was kind to themself.  Hard to imagine isn’t it but I am one of the dreamers, just like the amazing John Lennon with his song “Imagine” Please enjoy this classic song and really listen to the words, even though you probably know them well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRhq-yO1KN8

John Lennon.

John Lennon.

Let’s Dance.

I sat in a medicine circle recently for most of a night and a morning and my visions were beautiful and the messages full of cheer! No more suffering for me, as I continue to shift my perceptions my journey shifts and the night is now a place of huge glittering skies full of stars rather than a long dark night of the soul. I played the part of ‘Misery’ in an impro show I put on with a friend some years ago now and I think that was an important letting go of an aspect of the ‘victim’ that I was embodying.

No more victim for me, I live in a world where the quantum field quivers with possibility ready to become that which my intention may manifest or not, it’s always a choice. I choose to embody my God/Goddess Self, the high priestess who commands great power and who leads through surrender, relational guidance and a flow of the earth’s wisdom through all levels of existence. I am Demeter, Lilith, Inanna, Athene, Aphrodite and Ceridwen, the feminine flows through me and it is a part of my task to offer this gift to others who wish to experience it.

So through readings, writings, conversations and energy exchanges, through sight and sound, a feeling through the “felt’ sense that is at my core, I shall make this offering to all the world and see who wants to play with me! In a way the title ‘Through the Vortex’ acknowledges the fact that I have entered into that space and am currently engaged in navigating my way through that place of whirling dervish, hindu chant, ancient prayers in all the old languages, place of frequency, merge of thought, feeling, body sense, spirit, connection to source, all that is.

It is time for a WORLD PARTY! St Germaine used to say ‘Until further notice, celebrate everything!’ A friend describes me as part party girl and part sensitive spiritual being and this feels quite accurate to me. Who better to help you to chill and let go of everything that stands in the way of your spirit dancing at a party held in the highest heaven of your heart.

LETS PARTY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

radha_krishna

I Begin!

I have always been a fan of Alice in Wonderland, popping down the rabbit hole has been a habit of mine for years now and it’s an exciting and sometimes confronting journey. Like Alice I try to believe six impossible things before breakfast, and in what we now know to be a quantum universe this is starting to look like a practical description of reality.

Not that I pretend to fully understand the science behind it, but even I can see that science and the mystic wisdom of the ages are finally meeting. We have entered the vortex and are passing through into a new earth, a new humanity. What it will be like beyond the vortex I do not know but that it will be marvellous I feel quite sure. Optimism seems the best way forward, optimism powered by the energy of love which, as it turns out, really does make the world go round. The Beatles were right and Wall Street has definitely got it very wrong.

Love is all you need, but I don’t mean the kind of love you’ll find in romantic novels, where the corseted women swoon and the charming, dastardly rogue turns out to have a heart of gold and be good husband material. Oh no, we’re living in a culture that has done it’s best to create order with rigid rules about who’s supposed to love who and look at the mess we’ve created!

It’s time to clean up our mess and having the freedom to be who we are in our fullness must be a part of that. Learning how to be in my fullness is what my healing journey is all about and I hope this may provide reflections, like sunlight upon a many faceted crystal. Reflections that may find answering echoes in the souls of my fellow explorers as we embark on the most exciting journey of all, discovery of self!

ALice

Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland

Down the rabbit hole!

Down the rabbit hole!