Well I did everything that was on the schedule and reached a point where I could no longer stay with the pain and the discomfort that has been slowly growing worse. So I went to see my friend who gave me a herbal tonic and marshmallow powder, also a medicinal tea and the guidance to avoid alcohol and sugar. Been having a bit more sugar than is good for me although still nothing approaching my old habits, time to swing back to a place of not requiring so much sweetness. At least not in my food anyway.
Forgive my barely supported visual segue into the realm of the faeries, after my Lord of the Rings themed party and the pleasure of having pointy ears for a night, I may be a little obsessed……….but now back to the story.
My friend confirmed that I had a fairly severe bladder infection and that we needed to hit it hard with the herbs, three times a day. I tried to do my overnight shift but severe pain in my back and probably kidneys sent me home a couple of hours early. Now I have had a day doing nothing much with everything I meant to do cancelled, just eating from the fridge, can’t face shopping. The things a body has to do to get a girl to slow down!
Of course that isn’t the whole story, dark forces have been on the move and there is a bit of carnage left, like on the Death card, representing endings. It’s a mopping up operation now and the more efficient I am in this process the lighter I will be, able to manoeuver in a new life that remains complicated while incredibly simple. Yes I know that’s a contradiction but both are true, essentially I am very happy but right in this very moment I have absolutely no energy, at least not in my body.
My mind and spirit are moving and bringing these words to you, I hope they are of some use as I really do get a lot out of putting my thoughts out into the world. Being witnessed is a very powerful exchange, thank you to those who follow my posts, your likes and comments are much appreciated.
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Tagged bladder infection, dark forces, death card, energy, faeries, herbs, Lord of the Rings, mind, pain, slow down, spirit, sugar, witness
Stepping out of the box, that’s the invitation, I don’t seem to have the time to read “The Art of non-conformity” so maybe I just have to do what my intuition is telling me to. To put myself out there with self-confidence, authenticity, passion, and be ready to receive the potential that flows back to me even if it comes in forms that are unexpected. I made an important shift a couple of days ago, I noticed that when I thought about my writing there was passion and excitement there, but there was also the idea that it took a lot of time and didn’t support me financially. That’s hardly thinking of successful outcomes, there certainly isn’t faith in my vision when I am in the energetic field created by that thought.
So I’ve started describing the time I spend on my writing as work, “I have to go home and work tonight” I said to the girl at the cash register and she looked intensely curious as she asked me what I was working at. I told her I was a writer and it felt good to say it and be witnessed, and I did go home and work on how I was going to get myself out there, as well as write an inspired blog post. Just telling you about it here feels like yet another stage of being witnessed, I can feel my ego getting frightened as I strip away even more of what you are ‘supposed’ to do, and do my best to surrender to what I ‘know’.
Even when knowing, and lived experience don’t seem to be saying the same thing, breathe and surrender, let the larger self be the guide on a journey of opening hearts and letting go………. There are times when we need to allow ourselves to be led by intuition in its purest form, without question, to be in that place truly is why it’s so important to let go of everything that obscures that clear view.
And Animal totems along the way can be our allies on the journey, but that’s another post, until I speak to you again, love and blissings……………
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Tagged authenticity, ego, energy, hearts, intuition, love, passion, self-confidence, surrender, The Art of Non-Conformity, thought, vision, witness, writing
My last post was inspired by watching “The Inner Wave”, a short film that takes you through a meditative dance journey with the incredible Gabrielle Roth. I didn’t think I liked 5 rhythms but I take back anything negative I may have said about it, I am sure it depends very much on who is facilitating and Gabrielle Roth was a master. I wish that I’d had an opportunity to take a class with her but instead I went online and ordered all three of her dance journeys so I can have the next best thing.
What inspires me the most about her work is how it creates a sacred space in which your movement becomes the prayer, the journey is into the uncharted territories of the self, the soul, deep, deep within. If I have stuck energy in my body I can dance it out, in the dance solutions to problems may come to you, in the dance you are revealed and if there is a witness it becomes even more powerful.
I feel a sadness that in my last years in Sydney I didn’t get to my ecstatic dance classes much because of injury to both of my shoulders. At the time I thought I was taking care of myself, but since then I have come to understand that I was limiting myself unnecessarily, and that I was very much in my ego, my small self. I had been accustomed to impressing on the dance floor, even though I did dance for the love of moving my body there was also a part of me that liked to show off. I could have gone to class and worked within the limitations of my injuries, who knows what riches I would have found on that journey, now I will never know.
So now I must find a way to take that journey, there are no ecstatic dance classes here but I can play the dvds and dance in my own space. Perhaps I can find a place that has room for a few enthusiasts and we can dance together, creating the ocean of love that was always such a beautiful aspect of the classes I did get to in Sydney.
“The object of meditation,” teaches Gabrielle Roth, “is to still the mind – and the fastest way to do that is to move your body……………..The more deeply we enter our bodies and breath,” Gabrielle says, “the more deeply we know ourselves”.
Check out this excerpt from “The Inner Wave”.
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Tagged 5 rhythms, dance, ecstatic, ego, energy, Gabrielle Roth, love, meditative, prayer, sacred, sould, witness