Tag Archives: write

Write, Release, Transition With Gratitude And Love.

spider writingWell I asked for clarity and that’s what I got in my medicine circle, some messages still to come but what has come through is very clear. Three posts a week in this blog is wonderful but to truly take on and inhabit that role I need to be doing more. If I win the lottery tomorrow I need to do more writing even if it’s me volunteering my time. That’s what spider came to tell me and it was delivered rather dramatically so I  really ought to take notice.

The horses are representing my sexuality which is flowering like a thousand petaled lotus flower and triggering all sorts of stuff. Bladder infections, rashes, all the disapproval and judgement that has come into my being through the experience of coming into the world through the particular energetic pathways that I have, is being released.

horse libido

When you let go of stuff that has been placing limitations on your potential there is an adjustment that needs to be made in the cells of the body. Integration is required and as this occurs change will flow from the new frequencies, as I feel my way into that flow I will find the details of this new chapter.

LotusFlower

So I will endeavour to be patient and cheerful as I go through this transition, life is pretty good so it becomes easy to have gratitude.

As a friend reminded me today, “An attitude of gratitude, gives you the altitude!”

Fly high my friends!

“Some day, after we have mastered the winds, the waves, the tides, and gravity, we will harness for God the energies of love; and then for the second time in the history of the world man will have discovered fire.”

flames burn

Teilhard de Chardin.

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Shocks To The System: Life As A Classroom.

Jinki 1I’ve just had a series of sudden, surreal crisis moments, its like a picture gallery in my head that I can return to and view. In the first one both horses escape and the nearby neighbours come and help us get them back in. Then when coming home later that night from dropping my dear friend who came to dinner off in town, one of the horses got out again. In spite of being novice horse handlers we managed to get a halter on the old girl and we used her to lure the other cheeky bugger back inside, it worked!

Then today I decide to shower  after doing the morning feed and was feeling good as I reached for my towel. Suddenly there’s a big spider on my right breast and I’m screaming and brushing it away and running into the hall. The spider of course has made itself scarce, nowhere to be seen and no doubt quivering in its boots as my Beloved checks the bathroom. Must have scared the bejesus out of that poor critter! And I forgot to mention the removal of two large spiders from the house, what is the spider telling me?

Spider medicine has encouraged me to write in the past but I do that three times a week when I offer my posts, so perhaps I need to reflect some more on this and see if I can find a meaning that helps me to navigate. There is always a lesson in everything and if you choose to view your life in that way then you tend to have a sense of meaning or purpose. On some level I know what the next step needs to be and if I can surrender to that then I flow with the energetic currents of where I am at in my life.

Swimming against the current is exhausting and will create undue stress. People cut off from their inner selves who are not following the path of the heart are likely to experience stress as they are not in touch with the whole of their nature.

So I have a bit to reflect and think upon, I will keep you posted!

Woe Is Me.

Letting go is a theme that crops up in my healing process over and over again, let’s face it, it is a constant in life whether you are particularly focused on your evolution or not. You can go into denial and hold on for dear life but sooner or later there are going to be things going on that you cannot control and so you really do have to surrender, even if you are dragged kicking and screaming all the way!

Kerry Laizans Photo by Antara May.

Kerry Laizans
Photo by Antara May.

I am thinking of my experience last week when I came home from a night out feeling light and happy, finished the night off with some dancing to good music which is always a good recipe for me. I decided that I would write my post for the next day while I was in such a good mood, not such a great move after all but I wasn’t to know. My laptop was not behaving itself and what should have been a quick whip through my emails took forever, it was quite late by the time I finally started to write my post.

And then the magic happened, poetic prose came spilling out of me and I had one of those wonderful journeys where I had no idea where I was going until I got there, and felt awed at the result, possibly one of the best things I have ever written. You’re probably wondering which post this was, well you only got to see half of this seminal piece, the computer was still misbehaving but I ignored my intuition which told me to abandon ship and go back to good old pen and paper.  You know where this is leading don’t you, yes I ended up losing half the post and no matter how I tried, I could not find those words again, they were completely in the moment and my left brain had nothing to do with it so it really couldn’t help me out.

memory_loss

It was soooooo hard to let go of it, I ended up staying up far too late in a fruitless attempt to somehow change what had happened or to find that magic flow again. And as I lay in bed I had to use every breathing and relaxation trick in the book to get myself to relax, in the end it was breathing in and out through my heart that began to allow me to let go of my tight clutching of what I felt I had lost. And to satisfy your brimming curiosity, it was “Beauty Walks Before Me”: Oct 5 2013, when I completed the post the next day I couldn’t get a good sense of whether it was good or not, it could never match what I had lost!

Anyway, there seem to be a few who liked it and in the end I didn’t have much choice but to let go, it was gone and life goes on……….surrender to what is………..and listen to your intuition.

It’s Just a Ride.

There hasn’t been much about toning in my posts so far, and yet it’s an incredibly important part of who I am. Like moving into the dance, toning is something I feel with my whole being, I become the sound, and the sound is who I am. It was an important part of my healing when I injured my shoulders in 2009, I toned every day for 5 months and the sounds that began to emerge were at times astonishing!

I don’t do perfect harmonics on cue, they come and they go, and what matters is the journey into another reality. Sound is definitely one of the doorways to other dimensions, my dear friend Ulli and I always joke, that it’s our favourite way to get bent. So why don’t I do it every day? Good question, there never seems to be enough time to do everything I want to do, and yet I know that’s a poor response, I know I can do better than that.

I’ve noticed that when I get really busy with work, I actually seem to get more done, something I’ve often heard from others, so I think it’s a fairly common experience. I need to organise my time better, regardless of how many hours I’m working, maybe a daily schedule would be helpful, although the Aquarian in me rebels against such a notion. But the part of me that has two planets in Virgo quite likes the idea, so perhaps I can find a balance between the two.

And in that schedule there will be slots for toning and writing, I did a practice last year where I meditated in silence, then toned, and then wrote from that space, and it was really fascinating to see what came out of the process. I always work with a strong intention, one that I used a lot at that time was:

I open to deeper connection with my larger self, as more and more of my life’s purpose is illuminated and revealed, I live that purpose to the full!

There is no doubt that I am living more of my purpose, but there is always more, more depth, more pleasure, more fun to be had. And if life seems too hard, too stressful, and you think that the power resides everywhere, but inside you, then please remember, it’s just a ride!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMUiwTubYu0